Do you consider yourself to be a good wife/husband/partner?

andymg

Well been thinking of it lately (no good reason really). Around the house I tend to do as much as possible e.g. Hover, cleaning, bit of cooking (brekie etc), making lunch box for myself and for missues. Managing finances etc is something that I tend to do as well.

I also help DD with studies and keeping DS busy while DW is doing other stuff.

Although, I am guilty of taking some man time relaxing (thinking about nothing) watching televison, browsing internet. I get bit of nag about it but it nothing serious - I tend to ignore it most of the times :cool:

I like to think I'm a good'ish hubby but dont know if the missues thinks the same. I dont think I like to ask her and open can of worms, you know the old saying about giving Camel an inch

I think DW is great at managing kids, house etc, I'm guilty of not complementing her about it. Although I could certanly do with is bit less nagging from the missues.

Do you want to spill the beans? Whats your thoughts about yourself and your partner?

PS: This thead is not just to discuss housework, its also about how you support your partner.

WestonDave

I think its less about what you do and more about your attitude in the sense that if you both try to make each other happy rather than trying to get as much out as possible, then overall you will get on better. Obviously if one puts in and the other takes out, you'll need a solicitor before long.

I must admit since changing jobs I've got less energy in the evenings so have been tending to just flop and watch TV or surf, but hopefully as I adjust I'll go back to having the energy to get on with stuff. As it is I tend to get up first and give the kids their breakfast before heading off to work. Get home and read the kids their story etc and try to get them settled down for sleep before I cook our evening meal. At the moment its then all falling apart so the cleaning and washing etc tends to get done at the weekend. I've always tended to have more energy than my wife, (she now works from home once the kids are either in bed or supervised by me) so I've always cooked the evening meal and tended to do more of the cleaning etc as well as being out at work. Unfortunately at the moment I simply don't have anything left by around 8:30pm so it has to wait for the weekend.

I try to accept that she can't do as much but occasionally when I'm tired and don't want to do it either it rubs a bit, and more recently she's occasionally got a bit fed up that the house is less tidy, but on the whole it works pretty well. Its human nature to moan sometimes even when overall its pretty good!

cazziebo

andymg wrote: »

. Around the house I tend to help missues as much as possible e.g. Hover, cleaning, bit of cooking (brekie etc), making lunch box for myself and for missues. Managing finances etc is something that I tend to do as well.

Interesting use of words! The highlighted words suggest to me that you see this as your wife's responsibility, and you're doing her a favour. I believe household tasks should be shared, with each member of the household sharing responsibility , although they may take on designated tasks.

However, I'm certainly not one to criticise anyone because I struggle with this myself. I think some of our problem is that OH moved in with me, so he still thinks of this as "my" house and therefore he is "helping" me with "my" housework. It's become more evident now that my children have left home, and I'm also working away most weeks. When I am home, I do tend to do most of the cooking, cleaning etc but he does do all the ironing (so he can watch F1 or football in peace!) I do get a bit p**d off that even when I'm away Mon- Fri I still do the weekly shop, including his packed lunch stuff.

Will be interesting to see other replies

celyn90

No sure I'd view doing some housework as helping the missus - its like it is assumed that it her job.

It certainly don't regard it as my job to do the housework! It gets done when one or the other of us has time in my house. OH did the washing up, I did some laundry yesterday last night but it they are not my jobs and or his jobs. We both work full time, we both do what is needed round the house when it is needed. It works for us - sometimes it doesn't get done, but to be honest, it doesn't matter if it doesn't. Life is too short to play house.

Finances - we do them together. All the bills go from the joint account, it's all on-line so we can both see it. It really isn't rocket science - just a case of keeping an eye on things and making sure there is enough to cover the outgoings in the right accounts.

This morning I put a mirror up the the bathroom and have sealed the new bathroom tiles. When that has dried, I will to reconnect a light fitting and put up the shelves and the towel rail. I would not class these as his jobs or my jobs - they just need doing and I am at home today so I will do them.

I don't consider a partnership to be defined by who does the washing up or who puts the rubbish out; these are just trivial, menial jobs that need doing by someone, doesn't matter who. All that stuff aside, it's what's left in your life that matters. I would consider myself pretty dead inside if I considered it to be a good day because I cleaned the windows. cel x

make_me_wise

We are as happy as pigs in s!@*, quite literally sometimes if you saw the state of our house, lol. DH does the gardening and looks after the cars, I do the ironing (Arghhhhh hate that job).

Everything else we split between us. There are 3 washing baskets, one for colours, darks and whites. When they are filling up whoever notices first puts a wash on and then hangs it out to dry.

We cook together alot which is something we enjoy. As we work full time and often bring extra work home with us the dreaded house tidy gets done Saturday mornings. We spend a couple of hours blitzing the place.

I dont live with a guy who expects me to mummy him and do everything for him. Couldn't bare that. DH doesn't live with a useless woman who couldn't change a plug or hang a picture on the wall either.

I think he is fab because if I ever have a problem or worry or need help with something he is the first person I turn to. I know whatever I ask of him I wont be made to feel like a nuisance or a pain and he would bend over backwards for me, as I would for him. Its just the way we are.

OP you sound great too. You seem to muck in with the chores and help out with the kids. Nice idea for a thread :beer:

victory

Around the house I help the missus.... bad choice of words there:D it is like you are saying it is down to her, her job, and you are good enough to help her out, uhm, bad choice of words:D

If one works and the other doesn't it could never be 50/50 or one works longer hours than the other.

It is not the wife's job, it should be together job, kids, house, garden, admin, al lthat goes with a marriage and the day to day stuff should be thought about by both and done at some stage by both.

Does not have to be a rota or a competition or who can earn more brownie points than the other, at the end of the day, it needs doing and you can both see it so crack on and do it, it is not the missus job to do the ironing, you can do it too, as much as the missus can do the lawm.

andymg

Hey dont beat me up, agree on bad choice of word! I'm going to do some edits

andymg

victory wrote: »

Does not have to be a rota or a competition or who can earn more brownie points than the other, at the end of the day, it needs doing and you can both see it so crack on and do it, it is not the missus job to do the ironing, you can do it too, as much as the missus can do the lawm.

Yes thats right. To be frank she does offer to do it at times but I dont let her do the stuff that I think a man should do.

celyn90

victory wrote: »

It is not the wife's job, it should be together job, kids, house, garden, admin, al lthat goes with a marriage and the day to day stuff should be thought about by both and done at some stage by both.

I agree - not only because each part of a partnership should pull their weight, but also because what happens if one partner suddenly isn't there any more? How would someone cope having to pay the bills, having to get the car serviced, change a nappy etc etc if they've never done it before? Learn fast at a time you could do without the additional stress?

I think it says a lot about a partnership if it is something fantastic without a level of dependancy of day to day function. I don't want someone to need me or rely on me because I can pay the bills, wire a plug or sew buttons on shirt. That is the role of a carer, not a partner.

cel x

victory

Oh crumbs what a man should do and what a woman should do, hopefully with your edits and less posts like this you will save yourself from falling into a very big black deep hole:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

make_me_wise

andymg wrote: »

Hey dont beat me up, agree on bad choice of word! I'm going to do some edits

It doesn't need editing. You came across fine to me