Do you consider yourself to be a good wife/husband/partner?

Lotus-eater

Gigglepig wrote: »

The title of your post "being a good partner" to me is about a lot more than cleaning and housework. I bet if you asked my OH what the thinks a good partner should do, housework would most likely not feature in the top 3 of what he likes in a wife :rotfl:

Precisely!

Now that would be a good thread.

I truly remember when I first got together with my OH, I stated the facts quite succinctly.
I said I care about our sex life, I want it to be brilliant, sex is very important to me, this is what I care about. I don't really care about having a clean house, or how much housework you do. I don't care about your cooking, I can cook. But sex is important to me and I don't want to have to be afraid to bring it up in conversation.

I really did say that, I refused to be in the same place as my Mum and Dad, who having been married for 20 years, they still could never talk to each other about it and ended up miserable because so.

Things I want most in a partner
1. Sexy
2. Funny
3. A genuine, lovely gentle person.
4. Does what she's told

andymg

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Precisely!

I said I care about our sex life, I want it to be brilliant, sex is very important to me, this is what I care about. I don't really care about having a clean house, or how much housework you do. I don't care about your cooking, I can cook. But sex is important to me and I don't want to have to be afraid to bring it up in conversation.

There Man you have spoken! Didnt want to bring up the S word in this thread afraid it might just take the thread off topic

Any

I think we have ups and downs.
Sometimes it looks like idylic home, I do most of the cleaning, cooking and ironing etc and I initiate it and whenever I ask him do something (like, you dust and I hoover behind you, or you clean the bathroom and I hoover) he does it and sometimes he just won't move, with answer "later" (which never happens) while watching TV, eating and leaving wraps behind for days and basicaly slob and then I nag. It's just one of those thing, he would like to do stuff only whenever he feels like it while I have a sense of duty that once a week these things needs to be done and as much as I would rather do something else (trust me, I don't do it for pleasure!!) I will just do this and not have to think about it again for week.

I also do all the finances and shopping. He theoreticaly cleans cars and looks after the garden. But also does cooking twice a week (whenever I tell him, he never suggested himself) and makes me breakfast every working day of the week (without asking, I then don't talk at him in the mornings:-)).

I definitely feel he thinks these are my jobs as a woman and he is helping me, rather then seeing it as sharing the housework. We had chat about it and his answer is to get a cleaner. And if I found one that would come for below £10/hour I would, but that is unlikely so I will rather do it myself and go on a holiday for the money instead.

I feel that I am generally a good partner, but I do occasionaly nag. I can also be grumpy. But so can he. I think we both have a good and bad points. Challenge is coming to terms with the bad ones!

andymg

Any wrote: »

Challenge is coming to terms with the bad ones!

Well said!

BugglyB

Yes I think I am a good partner.

I am very supportive of my oh. If he says he would like something, I try and support him to make it happen. When he wanted to give up a well paid job and go to uni, I told him to go for it. Now he has done his first year and got a good grade I have been so happy for him and remind him all the time how hard he works and how clever he is.

I am happy for him when he does well and there for him when things go wrong. I look after myself physcially and try and remind myself of what I was like when we first started going out!

Housework? well thats a different matter :rotfl:

Any

victory wrote: »

I SO AGREE with that sentence, so agree, OH can do things around the house but if he has to ask first what is the point? He has eyes, he can see the living room is in mess for example or the towels need washing or the lawn neeeds mowing, or some shopping needs to be got, we both can see it , it is not down to me to just go ahead and do it and hope he asks 'what can I DO?' when it gets to that point, the nagging starts and the fact he has asked sends me crazy so we end up with 'I will do it anyway' attitude with resentment.:D

Also, a very touchy subject but OH sometimes does things and then expects me to 'thank him' uhm, I don't think so, where is my thanks for the things I do anyway?:rotfl:

I also completely agree with the taking responsibility rather then task, but found that if I wait I will never get there!!
He will empty dishwasher most of the time, because he cannot put cup there if it needs emptying, but other things he does not see. He will not see that bathroom needs cleaning or bed sheets changing.. Men just have different levels of acceptance (not all, you know what I mean).

So true about the thanking bit!!!!!!!!!!!!:rotfl:

make_me_wise

Lotus-eater wrote: »

I'm an incredible partner, my OH is very lucky to have me.

Wickedkitten wrote: »

Hey, you don't need a finishing school to know that if your wife has already been vacuuming the entire house and she's only got the living room left to do, that that probably isn't the time to peep up offering to help.

Lotus-eater wrote: »

What are you on about, it's exactly the right time to offer!:dance:

The bit in bold needs a bit of tweaking me thinks!;)

abacus73

andymg wrote: »

Well been thinking of it lately (no good reason really). Around the house I tend to do as much as possible e.g. Hover, cleaning, bit of cooking (brekie etc), making lunch box for myself and for missues.

What useful things do you get up to whilst you hover? Or is this used to observe what needs doing next :rotfl:

andymg

abacus73 wrote: »

What useful things do you get up to whilst you hover? Or is this used to observe what needs doing next :rotfl:

What useful/meaningful thing you got to say Mate? Go away and troll someone else

paulsad

No.........