301k in debt and morbidly obese - things aren't great!

triple_choc_chip

MrBloater wrote: »

I have just spent the last half hour gently torturing myself by working out to the exact penny exactly how much money I have cost my family by losing my old job.I don't feel any better for knowing the price of my failure and am not sure exectly what I do with this information. The mind is a terrible thing to taste.

If it's a monetary value, it hasn't cost them anything - your debt is lower than when you started this journey - and your kids don't even know it exists in the first place.

Life throws us curved balls but you mitigated your last one by quickly securing another job after considering several options - you're not unemployed and you're not terminally ill and you're on the cusp of cutting overheads and pushing on with the debt busting. Be kind to yourself, you're doing ok. Have a dodgy hug: :grouphug:

gallygirl

MrBloater wrote: »

rather than sitting in the front room with the family watching a nice movie I have just spent the last half hour gently torturing myself by working out to the exact penny exactly how much money I have cost my family by losing my old job.I don't feel any better for knowing the price of my failure and am not sure exectly what I do with this information.

The mind is a terrible thing to taste.

Or you could have tortured yourself about not buying Microsoft or Apple shares years ago. Or picking the lottery numbers correctly. Etc etc.

You are in a far better place now than when you were in your old job - remember how low you were. You're getting on great in your new job, pay rise to come. What if things had worked out slightly differently at your old place and you were still there - would you be any happier?

Oh, and by the way, free listings weekend

short_bird

MrBloater wrote: »

Strangely though the turmoil of my digestive system has also made it's way to my brain and, rather than sitting in the front room with the family watching a nice movie I have just spent the last half hour gently torturing myself by working out to the exact penny exactly how much money I have cost my family by losing my old job.

The mind is a terrible thing to taste.

Ooh, Ministry

Mr B, the 2 things are well and truly linked: I'd bet the brain churning set off the stomach, maybe due to adrenalin? That way, you have to stop and address whatever the issue is.

Hope your keel is a bit more even.

MrBloater

Back from a lovely 5k trundle. My mind is in a much better place today - some serious gardening yesterday helped. Must do a big listing tonight - I'm starting to get really sick of myself making excuses for not doing this yawnsome task. Time for a cup of tea on the patio methinks. Hope you all have a pleasant Bank Holiday.

MrBloater

And everything falls apart again. Scraping that other car has put a hole in our budget that is going to prove difficult to patch up. I hate the effect that the money worries are having on Mrs B. She does not need all the crap that has come about as a result of my crapness.

Indebted2U

MrBloater wrote: »

And everything falls apart again. Scraping that other car has put a hole in our budget that is going to prove difficult to patch up. I hate the effect that the money worries are having on Mrs B. She does not need all the crap that has come about as a result of my crapness.

Mr B just looking at your signature shows how far you've come already with the debt repayment and the weight loss! I totally understand the affect that money worries can have, the sleepless nights, feeling sick to the pit of your stomach etc. Just try and remember how well you've done so far and that your family need you well and happy to keep up your good work.

MrBloater

Decided to have a break from my meltdown and do something actually MSE - switched £900 off of my most evil credit card (34%) onto a 0% deal on the remaining space on a less evil credit card. This is, I hope a good thing. The downside being that the most evil credit card is the one we have to use in an emergency. But it'll have to be a real emergency to stomach that interest rate. And, in further shock news I have taken the advice given to me countless times on here and actually set up a DD to take the minimum payment out each month. Perhaps some pennies are finally starting to drop.

Goes without saying that the free listing weekend came and went without any action - by the time I was in a place to do it (includes lots of Dinky / Corgi toys so can't be done anytime when my son is around as he would just nab them all) I just nodded off. Excuses, excuses - I need to man up and stop making them. Hmm, seems like the self-loathing is back again. I'm off.

Buffythedebtslayer

Mr Bloater,

I think you underestimate many things,

1. how well you have actually done - have you read your signature?

2. how tiring your job is. I know you have said in the past it isn't and actually if you are on the ball is perfectly manageable however being *that* on the ball is exhausting. Plus all the doubtless horrid crap at the old place, it takes time and energy to process and lose that anxiety.

3. that you need to listen to your body - if it wants sleep let yourself sleep. SO important for our health.

4. how unbelievably boring e-baying is. it should be used as a punishment in prison.

5. And with shed Tetris there will always be another level.

So long as you make your payments you are ok. If you can list ten things in a month do it if you can't it is not the end of the world. If you do one run a week good, if not well listen to your body.

The hardest thing about all this is the time it takes. We know the answers - we know after X months with Y payments we will be out of debt. We know if eat X calories for Y months we will lost weight. and once this has all been worked out it is the long hard slog that proves really honestly so long and often uninspiring/frustrating/annoying/guilt inducing.

I found mini targets motivating for the debt, I know you are supposed to pay of the highest interest first but I set myself silly challenges, all debts must in equal numbers, I must get below 2 grand on that card. What ever I make on e bay/surveys must be paid straight off the debt. The price of coffee and cake off the CC . ANYTHING to get me out of the I am !!!! cos I am in debt headspace.

Which reminds me I must go and find the payment a day thread....

I hope you went off to do something nice with the kids, its raining here which is annoying.

Good luck
Buffy
xxx

Mara_uk7

Stop the self loathing, Youre a good guy, kind hearted (even if you wont give your son the corgi toys! ) Making fantastic progress with the debt, for goodness sake £40k in less than two years !! The running has picked up again, and youve lost 9kg !!
Setting up the DD is the best thing you can do, Stop them evil bar-stewards taking penalty paymenst ! grrrrrr . Keep smiling, in my head , you have a lovely smily happy face, Dont disillusion me !!

beanielou

As Buffy says do NOT underestimate yourself.
You are doing so well.