Being asked for money as a gift

Harry_Flashman

My young lady and I will wed next month.

We've lived together for 3 years now (and both had homes before that), so we don't really need any of the traditional gifts.

I've handled this by sending a note with the invitations saying "we are inviting your presence and not your presents", but go on to say that, if they'd like to give us something then either cash or some personal memento would be appreciated.

I really can't see how we're doing anything wrong there. We're not inviting people in the hope of receiving something, simply we'd like them to be there to help us celebrate. We don't really need anything household-wise, but cash would help us to enjoy our honeymoon a little more. And, as presents go, my most cherished gifts from the past are things I would never have thought of to ask for (ie, personal mementos).

Ravenlady_2

I think you are more likely to receive cash if you just state no gifts due to already having everything you need that actually asking for cash.

Hockeynut

Ravenlady wrote: »

I think you are more likely to receive cash if you just state no gifts due to already having everything you need that actually asking for cash.

I think similarly.

Hollie84

I dont see how it makes it look like your re-couping cash for the wedding if u are saying if u would prefer the cash for the honeymoon,we have a budget of £3500 for the wedding,my OH is the only person bringing in an a large income as i work from home so its kind of as and when i have an order so we cant have a wedding and a honeymoon and we dont want tat or vouchers,as we have nothing we need to buy.if people dont want to give anything thats fine but if they do we have suggested cash,we cant ask for vouchers for travel company as it will be a last min deal after the wedding so have no idea who were booking with or where were going.I personally like the poem's its better than saying no presents cash only.id be really upset if i was to give someone a gift they didnt want to find out months later its sat in the loft or been sold on ebay.at the end of the day its each to there own,i couldnt care less if people think the poem is tacky its the individuals choice and so is asking for money or gifts.:)

Ravenlady_2

How is asking guests to contribute towards your honeymoon any better than using the cash to recoup costs of the wedding? Neither are guests responsibility to pay for, and I would resent being asked to.

Hollie84

Ravenlady wrote: »

How is asking guests to contribute towards your honeymoon any better than using the cash to recoup costs of the wedding? Neither are guests responsibility to pay for, and I would resent being asked to.

Each to there own but thats what im doing anyway better than recieving gifts u wont ever use.its amazing actually how many weddings go for the cash version these days,i mean how many people need stuff? every wedding ive been to they have never asked for gifts or vouchers

Hockeynut

Not directed at anyone in particular. But if you don't need anything, then why are you asking for cash, beit directly or in poem? You either need something or you don't.

All that says to me is that you budgeted too little for your wedding & honeymoon.

If you need something which requires a larger collective of money, then perhaps think about lowering the cost of the wedding & honeymoon eh. Rather than paying for the fancier wedding do that you wanted and hoping to recoup the money back in to buy the big purchase anyway.

You either need something or you don't.

nicola00007

i do not think it makes you look like you are hoping to recoup some of the money because you cannot pay for your wedding! as most people have said that actual gifts are welcome its up to the person buying to chose

ampafc

Hollie84 wrote: »

I dont see how it makes it look like your re-couping cash for the wedding if u are saying if u would prefer the cash for the honeymoon,we have a budget of £3500 for the wedding,my OH is the only person bringing in an a large income as i work from home so its kind of as and when i have an order so we cant have a wedding and a honeymoon and we dont want tat or vouchers,as we have nothing we need to buy.if people dont want to give anything thats fine but if they do we have suggested cash,we cant ask for vouchers for travel company as it will be a last min deal after the wedding so have no idea who were booking with or where were going.I personally like the poem's its better than saying no presents cash only.id be really upset if i was to give someone a gift they didnt want to find out months later its sat in the loft or been sold on ebay.at the end of the day its each to there own,i couldnt care less if people think the poem is tacky its the individuals choice and so is asking for money or gifts.:)

This post suggests that you are asking for people to buy you your honeymoon. If you had already booked the holiday, paid for it, and then asked for money to pay for certain activities on your honeymoon, then that would be fine imo.

But simply asking for the money, and then waiting for it to come in so you can go out and book the honeymoon/holiday, is really bad form I think. So the guest is just giving you money for a holiday with no idea of where you are going to go with their money - that's not much fun for the giver of the money, is it? I think people should ask for money to help them make the most of their honeymoon - not simply pay for it outright!

Hollie84

ampafc wrote: »

This post suggests that you are asking for people to buy you your honeymoon. If you had already booked the holiday, paid for it, and then asked for money to pay for certain activities on your honeymoon, then that would be fine imo.

But simply asking for the money, and then waiting for it to come in so you can go out and book the honeymoon/holiday, is really bad form I think. So the guest is just giving you money for a holiday with no idea of where you are going to go with their money - that's not much fun for the giver of the money, is it? I think people should ask for money to help them make the most of their honeymoon - not simply pay for it outright!

I should have said that it wont be paying for the honeymoon outright,we have a budget which wont be exceeded for the wedding anyway, they will simply be topping it up if we havnt managed to save as much as we wanted.like i said each to there own,my guests have said it's a great idea,well the ones who have asked what we are asking for.everyone has an opinion and entitled to it but it wont change how we are doing things