Being asked for money as a gift

seafarers_wife

I havent read through all the thread, as its long

I cant remember exactly what was put in our invites as my mum made them and I pretty much left it up to her. We didnt want presents and werent fussed about cash or vouchers, but as she was getting asked what we wanted we suggested john lewis vouchers or ikea vouchers as we were looking at buying and needed the big items of furniture (bed/sofa/fridge etc) so people knew it wasnt going straight into the bank to be used for whatever. I dont think she worded it as a poem, i think she put it on a little slip of paper inside the invite explaining we were buying a house soon and if anyone wanted to get us anything vouchers would be appreciated.

i personally dont like giving cash, i would much rather give gift vouchers to be used to maybe treat themselves to something they wouldnt normally buy or put towards a big purchase item. my friends wedding I gave her marks and spencers gift vouchers but the day before the wedding i gave them each a little present of their own, she got a funky nail polish set and he got a nice bottle of champagne just because i wanted to get them each a little something for their last day of singledom.

i havent been to many weddings so havent formed an opinion on it other than i agree i dont like being told what to give :rotfl: but i think its more common now for the "younger" generation to do cash or gift vouchers especially with living together and setting up home before getting married.

bettyB_2

Torry_Quine wrote: »

There are two problems that I can see. You may feel uncomfortable with the amount you can afford. If buying a gift you may get something in a sale or on special offer.

I see your point, however, a gift list is made up of specific items, which you can't get on sale or on the cheap, so that's worse! And if you buy an unwanted gift you are literally wasting your money, not very MSE!

Surely a tenner in a card is better than a tenner on something unwanted?? If you're only going to spend £2.50 on the present then just don't give cash or anything at all. Surely people would rather have nothing than something they don't want.

roses wrote: »

But it's ok to be "told" to give a gift via a gift list? Sorry, I just don't see what the difference is.

precisely

Also, just wanted to point out that tho the poems may have 'subtext' the subtext is not usually 'give us money' it's usually 'we don't want anything, but if you refuse to give us nothing, and you really feel the need to give us something, then a bit of money or vouchers would be nice'

Torry_Quine

bettyB wrote: »

I see your point, however, a gift list is made up of specific items, which you can't get on sale or on the cheap, so that's worse! And if you buy an unwanted gift you are literally wasting your money, not very MSE!

Surely a tenner in a card is better than a tenner on something unwanted?? If you're only going to spend £2.50 on the present then just don't give cash or anything at all. Surely people would rather have nothing than something they don't want.




Also, just wanted to point out that tho the poems may have 'subtext' the subtext is not usually 'give us money' it's usually 'we don't want anything, but if you refuse to give us nothing, and you really feel the need to give us something, then a bit of money or vouchers would be nice'

You can always buy something which is on the list but from a more reasonably priced shop.

If people want to give cash that's fine, just don't ask for it.

Poems however cleverly done are just a way of asking for cash which I and many others don't like. To be honest if someone asks for money they won't get any, if that's the only option then tough they won't get anything from me.

PootleFlump_3

Hollie84 wrote: »

Yes do what u want,just because some on here think its 'tacky' or 'rude' doesnt mean you should have second thoughts,these people arnt going to be at your wedding so you stick to what u have decided.im certainly still sticking with my poem,i wasnt put on this earth to please anyone,i'll do as i please

Quite right.

Scotsbride

I can understand the fact that couples are asking for cash as they are already living together. equally understand people wanting to give a gift and not cash. I think if you are asking for cash then the couple should state what it is going towards, or set up a gift vouchers or site that let them give money towards honeymoons etc. perhaps one way around is to have a few items you would like for the home or garden like artwork, picture frames, cushions etc.