Being asked for money as a gift

Dekazer

I've had a few friends say that they simply must give us something. An idea I saw on this site was to ask them to write out a favourite recipe on a piece of paper, maybe decorated or personalised in some way, which we can then bind into a book later. OH thinks it's a bit twee, but I think that the sort of person who wishes to give a sentimental, 'pretty' gift 'that you can keep' would quite like making a recipe page.

A friend's small daughter is already very excited about making hers, so perhaps others might find that a good alternative I've yet to write the 'ask' - I'll post it here when I've done it!

Sammy85_2

Dekazer wrote: »

I've yet to write the 'ask' - I'll post it here when I've done it!

You're bound to get a lot of people who will say its wrong regardless of how you write it. I would instead show a couple of close relatives and gauge their response to it. Your family are more likely to take it in the spirit in which it is meant as they know you and will know you're not out to get what you can from your guests.

Gem123_2

I've been reading this thread for a few weeks, I told my OH that we were not going to write a list or put a rhyme in our card, because of what I had read on here. He told me that we would do what we wanted, every wedding we have been invited to have had a rhyme in the card (including the ones we received this year) and my MIL, Mum and older Sister love the rhyme we have chosen.

At the end of the day people will only ask them what we want, it doesn't mean they have to give us anything or that we are being rude (Why give something that will never be used) Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I just think some should think about how they answer.


Marrying my OH on the 5th April 2013

74jax

Dekazer wrote: »

I've had a few friends say that they simply must give us something. An idea I saw on this site was to ask them to write out a favourite recipe on a piece of paper, maybe decorated or personalised in some way, which we can then bind into a book later. OH thinks it's a bit twee, but I think that the sort of person who wishes to give a sentimental, 'pretty' gift 'that you can keep' would quite like making a recipe page.

A friend's small daughter is already very excited about making hers, so perhaps others might find that a good alternative I've yet to write the 'ask' - I'll post it here when I've done it!

OMG I love that idea!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'd love a little box/folder of all my closest friends' favorite receipes and every time you look through the folder you'd be remembered of your day.

That is defo my plan for those who 'must' give me something.

See 7 pages in and I get the most wonderful solution! I'm actually so excited now at the thought!

74jax

I've re-wrote it adding in the paragraph regarding the Receipe Folder. This isn't to go in invites (as we aren't sending any out) but it is a page on our wedding website, which people click on.

Gift List

We appreciate that each and every one of you attending our wedding have contributed above and beyond in making our Wedding Day special.
Your presence at our wedding, is above and beyond any present we could wish for.
Should any of you have the urge to part with your money, then we have chosen two charities very close to our hearts, that, if you wish, a donation can be made to on behalf of our Wedding Day.
(bride) has chosen the British Stroke Association and (groom) has chosen the RNLI.
All donations to these charities are entirely at your discretion and we will not be informed of who has donated or what amount has been donated.
If you would like to give something direct to ourselves, we have thought of creating a Recipe File. If you wouldn't mind providing us with your favourite recipe we will collect them altogether in a folder and this will create a wonderful keepsake for us to add to and build on as a married couple.
We want to stress we wish our wedding to be an informal, happy and fun event. It is the joining of two people who wish to go forward in married life with their closest family and friends at their side.
You sharing this day with us, is all we request.

I'm so happy with it now, and don't really care that some won't approve or whatever. I now love it and can't wait to get my receipes!

Dekazer

Yeah, that's it - glad it was useful 74jax. It was another forum member here who suggested it, but I can't for the life of me remember who.

candygirl

My OH's Sis is getting the vouchers he got from work as an incentive.Don't care if she likes them or not;)It's costing us a fortune to go to the do, stay over, buy clothes , drinks, food etc, and kennel the dogs:D:D

TheSeventh

I'm planning on asking for donations towards our wedding album, instead of gifts. (as the cheapest one starts at £500, well pay for that, but would like to have more photos inside it -which costs extra).
Of course, we'll make it very clear that we'd rather people came and gave nothing than flounced off because they were 'outraged' at being asked to donate towards something we'd love.

The photographer has agreed that people can contact him direct and pay into our 'account' on our behalf.
I'm hoping that this will be a reasonable compromise between 'asking for money' and 'I refuse to give cash that could be spent on anything'

*fingers crossed!*

Lindy_-_Loo

I got married two weeks ago and we put in a poem which stated that we do not have a gift list and that the guests being there was a gift enough.

We have been together for 8 yrs and have 2 children so didnt require any traditonal style gifts.

When asked by guests we said we would appreciate money and some guests thanked us as they only wanted to spend a small amount and they were worried as some gift lists are very expensive.

We were very lucky and we received money of people which is in an account for next years holiday.

I wouldnt be offended if I was asked to give cash as a gift, I ve done it before. At the end of the day you usually pay cash in some way for the gift anyway

Hollie84

Gem123 wrote: »

I've been reading this thread for a few weeks, I told my OH that we were not going to write a list or put a rhyme in our card, because of what I had read on here. He told me that we would do what we wanted, every wedding we have been invited to have had a rhyme in the card (including the ones we received this year) and my MIL, Mum and older Sister love the rhyme we have chosen.

At the end of the day people will only ask them what we want, it doesn't mean they have to give us anything or that we are being rude (Why give something that will never be used) Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I just think some should think about how they answer.


Marrying my OH on the 5th April 2013

Yes do what u want,just because some on here think its 'tacky' or 'rude' doesnt mean you should have second thoughts,these people arnt going to be at your wedding so you stick to what u have decided.im certainly still sticking with my poem,i wasnt put on this earth to please anyone,i'll do as i please