Being asked for money as a gift

fawny

Hiya,

I don't have a problem with giving people money if thats what they want, i'd rather do that & it go towards something they want. Several people have already asked us where our wedding list is on our website or what we want, we haven't put anything on there yet as we have not quiet decide what to do. Our current thinking is if people want to give us a gift then we would like money as we really need a new sofa & would love to put everyone gift towards it that way we will always know what the money has gone on. On the other hand we are certainly not expecting people to give us anything esp as they are coming to Greece with us.

VfM4meplse

I think flashy weddings are just a big fat waste of money, these days they can cost guests a huge amount as well as those getting married and their families, bridezillas are so determined to have a "perfect" day that there are tears and tantrums for months in advance.

As for gifts - some people (esp the older generation) really should be ashamed of the kind of rubbish they palm off onto others, so it really is best to have a no gifts policy. I think a free-will donation to the couple's chosen charity, or putting a nominal sum towards a collective gift - such as a treat whilst on honeymoon - would be a much better option.

nicola00007

Magpie27 wrote: »

We have being having this debate in our house last night as we are getting married next year. Nicola00007 your poem sounds like the kind of thing I suggest which says we really don't need anything however if anyone really wanted to give us something we would prefer money towards something we couldn't normally afford. However I would just as happy that they give nothing and just come and enjoy our day. Would you be happy to share your poem?

i dont have one as yet but here is a link to see something along the lines of what i mean.

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/160339834206?ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1423.l2648

Hockeynut

I know a friend of mine suggested something he came across. The company the couple had booked their honeymoon with had a website where people could buy daytrips & the like for the happy couple on their honeymoon. I liked that, but felt it might somewhat limit our options when booking our honeymoon!

Ravenlady_2

I really dislike being asked for money but what I ABSOLUTELY HATE is those crappy little quaint poems that kind of skirt around the issue with extra sugar and grammatical cringe factor. Please stop using them, it makes you look cheap.

If the invite states 'No gifts' or then I will give cash in the card on the basis that its my choice to do so.

Hockeynut

MandyMoo22 wrote: »

Some poeple are getting abit defensive of the reason they hate the cards and poems and actually giving cash..?

I think the biggest hate is where it's explicitly asked for (or indirectly in verse). It's the presumption part of it, like it's a given. For me it's the feeling that it will just disappear into a pot/account and I wouldn't know what I'd really given to them or made a difference doing.

I think the second thing is, if you don't need anything as you already have a home etc, and that is what you say, then don't ask for anything. Don't say we don't need anything... but cash is nice if you're stuck (whether it's in a poem or plain blunt, it's the same thing.)

kacy1988

we're not asking for anything. we're not putting anything on invites.
we have told the mums and those that ask that we would like argos vouchers if they are compelled to get us something as we would like a new bed / bed linen any way. a couple of relatives want to give us a "thing" rather than a voucher so i will set up a gift list of bedlinen etc but only tell people IF they ask!!
BUT we have said we really dont want anything. most people wont take this for an answer though!

jollyanna

I'm getting used to the trend for asking for cash in leiu of gifts. Remember Martin having a chat about it on his blog a few months back ? I don't like being asked for cash because I can't be as moneysaving as I could be with a gift in a big box.
Like others here, I find the ninny poems tasteless and can't think why the B&G couldn't ask for charity donations, particularly if you know that they are in established careers and own their house.
, I had an invite and request for honeymoon cash earlier this year and what really rattled me was that there was a "pay in by date" to the travel firm. Shocking disregard for the personal circumstances of the invitee ! I had to wait ,til I had cash flow sorted and send them a cheque with an apologetic note for being late - didn't feel like I was giving a gift at all.

nicola00007

why does this make us look cheap?

Ravenlady_2

Because your not giving the guests the option of giving a actual present, vouchers or cash, basically you just want money and will be expecting it.
If you want something specific make a gift list or say what you actually want because asking for cash just makes you look like you cant afford your wedding and are hoping to recoup some of the cost via the guests.