Christmas Escape from Mother in Law & Stepson

thorsoak

the_cat wrote: »

Right onto more important matters....

Troll or idiot?

No - selfish, self-centred person ...to call her a female dog would be insulting to the canine species!

the_cat

thorsoak wrote: »

No - selfish, self-centred person ...to call her a female dog would be insulting to the canine species!

And she might think it a compliment..... she is apparently an 'animal lover' The user name should have been a clue, eh?
jerryjerryjerry.............'so important I named me thrice'

Mojisola

Re-reading your other post - https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3146850 - I can see where your anger comes from. Didn't you marry your husband, thinking that your life ahead would be the two of you, and suddenly these other people appeared in your life. I got the feeling, reading the other thread, that you may not have married your OH if you'd been introduced to the rest of the family first.

I don't see why you should have to spend Christmas with people you don't like. If your OH is happy to get away, book something. You don't have to justify yourself to strangers on a forum. These things can be like bullying - each specific event may be small but the accumulation of them can break a person.

I think you've been stuck in a situation not of your choosing for over two years and are resenting it like mad. You're probably not aware of how angry you sound because the situation has been eating away at you and there is no release for your feelings. It's not that I don't think your emotions are justified - I would find a young man like that very hard to be around and he certainly wouldn't be getting any financial support from me - but you could benefit from some counselling to come to terms with things. It can't be good for your health to have that stress in the background all the time.

Have you ever had it out with your husband? In the same situation, I would feel that he deceived me in the run-up to the marriage.

RubyRue

I feel sorry for the MIL and stepson

scheming_gypsy

I feel sorry for the OP. She's being told that she has to spend christmas with people she doesn't like - to make them happy, and that she has to like them.

Jerryjerryjerry

the_cat wrote: »

And she might think it a compliment..... she is apparently an 'animal lover' The user name should have been a clue, eh?
jerryjerryjerry.............'so important I named me thrice'

Jerry happens to be my dog's name.

Jerryjerryjerry

Mojisola wrote: »

Re-reading your other post - https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3146850 - I can see where your anger comes from. Didn't you marry your husband, thinking that your life ahead would be the two of you, and suddenly these other people appeared in your life. I got the feeling, reading the other thread, that you may not have married your OH if you'd been introduced to the rest of the family first.

I don't see why you should have to spend Christmas with people you don't like. If your OH is happy to get away, book something. You don't have to justify yourself to strangers on a forum. These things can be like bullying - each specific event may be small but the accumulation of them can break a person.

I think you've been stuck in a situation not of your choosing for over two years and are resenting it like mad. You're probably not aware of how angry you sound because the situation has been eating away at you and there is no release for your feelings. It's not that I don't think your emotions are justified - I would find a young man like that very hard to be around and he certainly wouldn't be getting any financial support from me - but you could benefit from some counselling to come to terms with things. It can't be good for your health to have that stress in the background all the time.

Have you ever had it out with your husband? In the same situation, I would feel that he deceived me in the run-up to the marriage.

Thank you for this insightful and informative post. I really appreciate it.
You are right. Had I met my stepson before I'd married - and had I spent more than an hour with my MIL before hand, I know i'd have run a mile.

However, i'm married. I adore my husband. Love spending time with him, don't resent any time he spends with them. So, all in all, its a problem that can get sorted.

I think my husband just wants everybody to be happy. And we can be... I don't think i'm the only woman in the world who hates her inlaws. I think you can have a happy marriage without having to make friends and play happy families with the inlaws. I know of people who don't see their inlaws ever. I want to just be one of those people.

How many people do you know who do loads of research into their partner's families? before making that decision to say I do? I doubt that many.

All in all, things are a lot better. I am getting to have my own way more often in relation to not spending time with them. However, we do still have some issues to deal with. If it gets bad enough, I may consider counselling, but I hope it doesn't come to that.n Not that there is anything wrong with admitting you need help.

I'm a strong willed woman and I know the sort of people I enjoy spending time with. They are the sort of people who don't criticise and take the mickey etc.

Life is too short to waste it ... even a minute of it.. with someone who is not to your standard/on your wavelength. I do enough of that at work!

My week-ends are precious. I choose who I spend them with. Thank you for your words.

Jerryjerryjerry

darlyd wrote: »

OP

My MIL went away last xmas, first xmas without FIL, to somewhere near germany, on a bus, cost her less than £500. Was a long journey but it got her away, she had a wonderful time. Stayed in a lush hotel, and they really celebrated xmas.

If your not up for that, what about scotland where it will be nice and cold, you can spend the whole weekend/week in a warm cottage with the fire on. oh lush...

OR go to any part of the caneries, hot all year round.. Shop around for prices, but stick to popular brand flights, like thompson/thomas cook if possible, you dont wanna get stranded... or do you? lol

Good luck anyway, I so know where your coming from..

OR just tell everyone your off away, and spend xmas alone, with the lights off in your own home, just the 2 of you..

Sorry. I missed this response. Thank you! Canaries certainly look appetising.

Jerryjerryjerry

RubyRue wrote: »

I feel sorry for the MIL and stepson

Well, you would, wouldn't you?

the_cat

[QUOTE=Jerryjerryjerry;46324737

Life is too short to waste it ... even a minute of it.. with someone who is not to your standard/on your wavelength. I do enough of that at work!
[/QUOTE]

What about being civil for the sake of your (much loved?) husband. It doesn't say much for the value you put on his happiness if you are not prepared to spend a small amount of time every so often with them for his sake