Christmas Escape from Mother in Law & Stepson

LEJC

Jerryjerryjerry wrote: »

Do you know what? This is it. I'm going to do what I want this year. If I am called selfish, then so be it. It wont hurt me. My husband can do whatever he wants. I love him and he loves me. We'd prefer to be together, but I don't love him enough to spend the day with that woman.

Oh my goodness me....if the hatred you have manifests much more then you wont be spending too many more christmasses in this families company....

To say that you dont love your husband enough to spend a day with that woman is very harsh on all and if your marriage is to continue harmoniously then you will need to address issues around his family..

You need to be very careful that you dont push your husband into a corner and make him choose them or you...they are his family and if you push too hard you could end up pushing your husband away...

What I read initally was someone wanting advice about where to go for a christmas break...thats perfectly reasonable to understand....but what it seems to have developed into is a complete hatred of 2 people who are dear to your husband...and to be honest a few days away from them at christmas wont sort out these rather harsh and at times quite venomous comments about 2 people who even though you dont like them will remain because of their connection to your husband...

Jerryjerryjerry

the_cat wrote: »

I don't really understand what the problem is from the limited amount of info available

OP -Is it that you don't get on with stepson/MIL and can't bear to be in their company? If so, why is Christmas any different to any other time of the year? If you don't see them at Christmas, presumably you will see them another time instead?

I see them very rarely. I go around to drop stuff off. I sometimes even have a cup of tea when i'm feeling very strong. But to spend such a lovely and special day with people I can't stand is hard. I also know from last time, that it is not fun and you're expected to stay a good couple of hours. By that time i would go mad.

Jerryjerryjerry

KittyPryde wrote: »

I don't need one, but i'd like one. It's up to her if she is vegan. Is she forcing everyone else to eat the same though is what i'm wondering?

"When we go to their house, I end up sitting, listening to her shouting (coz she can't speak normally, she has to shout really really loudly, and she never ever waits for the answer to any question she asks me, before she opens her mouth to continue shouting.. she never shuts up. I find it hard to understand her as well, because her teeth are very much far forward, and her speech is unclear as a result) I end up having to either ask her to repeat something or just keep nodding politely. I end up being with 1 person I love, and 2, I can't stand the company of. Whereas, she is over the moon when we go around."

You really 'despise' them just because she talks to loud and her teeth are too far forward?

I could write a book on the reasons I can't stand her. She is being forced on me. I did not choose her. She is not the sort of person I would spend five minutes of my precious, short time on this earth with. Yet, i've had to endure hours and hours of this ghastly and awful woman. She's not my cup of tea.

puddy

what about going out to a restaurant then, then is more a public space

you cant hate them that much if you do chores and stuff for them? does your husband ask you to do these things?

does the son have special needs of some sort?

Jerryjerryjerry

KittyPryde wrote: »

What's being vegan got to do with anything? Just wondering.

If she was just a vegan and a nice person, nothing would be wrong with her. But she gives us filthy looks and covers her mouth, often sitting away from us, when we eat meat.

Jerryjerryjerry

puddy wrote: »

but does your husband feel the same about your step son (his son i presume?) and his mother as you do?

of course not. He loves them. He finds his mother very irritating, but he manages to put up with her for a few hours. He tells her to shut up as well, which is something I could never do out of politeness. Call me what you like, I hate her secretly. Although my husband has a good idea I don't like spending time with her due to the excuses I come up with.

He loves his son. He's a good father.

LegalBlonde

oh now i see why you have put it in family section rather than overseas travel.

If you want to go away for Xmas you don't have to justify it to a load of anonymous people on a forum while airing your dirty laundry in public at the same time whatever that phrase is.

Go to the overseas boards. Go to expedia. Go to Tripadvisor before making your final choice. Go abroad for Xmas!

Jerryjerryjerry

*max* wrote: »

Blimey...excuse me, but you don't half sound like a giant bag of sunshine....
Is your husband aware you hate and despise his mother and his son so much? :eek:

Is it a prerequisit of marriage? that I love his mother and son?
If so, then he must divorce me at once!

Of course he must have some idea I despise them. The lack of... "shall we go and see your darling mother, darling?" and the way I always have some excuse when it is suggested we go there to see them.

thorsoak

I would suggest that you find an isolated cottage where you and your OH can be alone together for Christmas. After all, if you chose to go to a holiday resort, where other people are enjoying a family Christmas, you could well come across other families who shout too loudly, who ask questions without waiting for responses, who trip over things, who have sticky-out teeth. These things would just spoil your holiday and would not prove value for money.

Better that you keep yourself to yourself, imo!

Darlyd

OP

My MIL went away last xmas, first xmas without FIL, to somewhere near germany, on a bus, cost her less than £500. Was a long journey but it got her away, she had a wonderful time. Stayed in a lush hotel, and they really celebrated xmas.

If your not up for that, what about scotland where it will be nice and cold, you can spend the whole weekend/week in a warm cottage with the fire on. oh lush...

OR go to any part of the caneries, hot all year round.. Shop around for prices, but stick to popular brand flights, like thompson/thomas cook if possible, you dont wanna get stranded... or do you? lol

Good luck anyway, I so know where your coming from..

OR just tell everyone your off away, and spend xmas alone, with the lights off in your own home, just the 2 of you..