Christmas Escape from Mother in Law & Stepson

Jerryjerryjerry

arbroath_lass wrote: »

TBH I think the OP really is coming across as the wicked stepmother here. Hopefully that is not the case and she does have valid reasons for not wanting a Dad to spend time with his son. Either way running away will not help. What will you do next year?. Can you not discuss it with your family (and they are your family now, too)?

Believe me. Id happily go by myself on holiday. However, my husband would hate that. I have never and would never stop his dad from seeing his son or mother. Infact, I encourage my husband to go round there. As long as I don't have to go, he can spend every sunday there.

This is NOT about Dad not spending time with his son. This is about a woman who will NOT spend time with a Mother in Law from HELL and a free loading, workshy step son.

*max*

Blimey...excuse me, but you don't half sound like a giant bag of sunshine....
Is your husband aware you hate and despise his mother and his son so much? :eek:

Jerryjerryjerry

scheming_gypsy wrote: »

Not just stepmum!
Imagine being 21 and spending Christmas with the family including your vegan grandma. He'd probably prefer to do his own thing but does the 'family thing' to keep them happy.

Well, since he doesn't work and doesn't earn any money.. its hard for him to go out. He stays in with his grandmother watching t.v. most nights.

He even allows his grandmother to go on the bus to buy his groceries. (when i'm not dropping them off on the way back from work).

He lives with/off his grandmother.

Jerryjerryjerry

kavics17 wrote: »

Come on, 21 is old enough to make his own plans for Xmas! If he knows they won't be here than he can already arrange something for himself.

I haven't been spending Xmas with my family since I was 21 because I can't take any days off over Xmas and they live abroad. I actually quite enjoy being just with my partner and no one else, it's quiet and relaxing (and yes, we do visit them in January or early December when we can take holiday). I am not scarred for life because of this!

Maybe you should try Tenerife or Lanzarote? We went there on 2nd January and had 24-31 degrees all week. It's much cheaper.

Really? I wouldn't have known Tenerife or Lanzarote could get that hot. Thank you! I will do some research on those two.

scheming_gypsy

Anywhere around the Canaries is hot pretty much all year round.

Jerryjerryjerry

littlerat wrote: »

Hmmm, for years my family was obviously selfish as my grandparents had to spend it alone, we should've gone to them.


Of course... then the other set would've been alone, so we'd have still been selfish. Huh.


As to the 21 year old - he could be married with kids for all we know, although it seems unlikely. If so that's very different from if he and his dad will want to spend it together and the OP is truly being an evil stepmother!
But yes, most 21 year olds I know still choose to spend it with their parents.

I know its hard to believe, but I have no problems in the Dad going round for the day. Infact, that might be the way to do it. Send Dad over and spend the day alone.

I would rather spend the day, on my own, than spend it with her. I'm just not going to do it. or the stepson. I can't stand the sight of him.

puddy

ok, we get that, but have they actually been offensive and rude to you? have they hurt your feelings in some way?

i stand by that an adult of 21 can make his own arrangemnts and by the sound of it he has lots of opportunity to spend christmas with family so that is not selfish to want to spend it with husband alone, however, im just wondering what these people have actually done?

shellsuit

Jerryjerryjerry wrote: »

I know its hard to believe, but I have no problems in the Dad going round for the day. Infact, that might be the way to do it. Send Dad over and spend the day alone.

I would rather spend the day, on my own, than spend it with her. I'm just not going to do it. or the stepson. I can't stand the sight of him.

Does your husband know you feel this way towards his son??

I'm be gutted if my husband spoke that way about my elder 2/his stepchildren.

What is it you can't stand? That he's lazy? Is that it?! Not the case that he is your husband's son to another woman as that's what it comes across as to me.

Jerryjerryjerry

lurvlyloz wrote: »

i'd like to point out it was my first year at home on my own. i had had messy year. i didnt want to be round people. my parent dont really "do" christmas. every other year i have gone all out and pleasesed everyone. this year i didnt want to..so i didnt.

if your busy keeping everyone happy...who is keeping you happy?

Do you know what? This is it. I'm going to do what I want this year. If I am called selfish, then so be it. It wont hurt me. My husband can do whatever he wants. I love him and he loves me. We'd prefer to be together, but I don't love him enough to spend the day with that woman.

shellsuit

Jerryjerryjerry wrote: »

Do you know what? This is it. I'm going to do what I want this year. If I am called selfish, then so be it. It wont hurt me. My husband can do whatever he wants. I love him and he loves me. We'd prefer to be together, but I don't love him enough to spend the day with that woman.

'That woman' is his Mother. You should love him enough to spend one day with her.

I do it for my husband and believe me I have many valid reasons why I can't stand my FIL.