Christmas Escape from Mother in Law & Stepson

Jerryjerryjerry

chewynut wrote: »

Wow, I read about two pages of responses but they made me roll my eyes so hard it hurt.

OP, I don't think you're selfish in the slightest. Not everybody's idea of the perfect Christmas is the same. There are certain members of my own family that I would hate to spend Christmas Day with.

People are becoming so judgemental on this board it's getting stupid. Stop judging people by your own ideals and just answer the original point of the post. I would if I had the slightest clue of how to help. My family have been thinking about renting a cottage for about ten of us plus the dogs. I'm looking forward to it if we ever get round to it!

Thank you so much. Posts like this make me realise, i'm not mad after all. x

Jerryjerryjerry

CH27 wrote: »

My my! You are such a charmer.

Thank you.

BitterAndTwisted

Quite honestly I agree with JerryJerryJerry: both the MIL and step-son sounds absolutely hateful. I wouldn't want to go round or spend Christmas with that charmless pair either. It's a crying shame when you marry someone that you also appear to have married into the whole tribe of gormless and useless twerps.

Plan a lovely family-less Christmas JJJ. I hope you find somewhere really wonderful to get away to.

MrsAtobe

JJJ, apologies if this is too personal a question, but what about your parents/family, could you not spend Christmas with them?

Mr A and I have already agreed that we will spend one Christmas with my family, one with his, and then one on our own. I can't wait for the one we spend on our own:).

I would urge you to talk to your OH, to explain how you feel when the MIL criticises you, perhaps he could become more vocal on your behalf?

Oh, and another vote for the Canaries, but I love Fuerteventura.

Violetta_2

chewynut wrote: »

People are becoming so judgemental on this board it's getting stupid.

With bell's on.

VfM4meplse

Jerryjerryjerry wrote: »

Really? You seem comfortable enough conveying your feelings behind the anonymity of a pseudonym.

Do you realise how daft this line is?

Its like me saying, "i find early monday mornings at work really hard". and then you saying, really? you seem to find saturday nights, out in a nice restaurant quite rewarding though don't you?

This is not a valid comparison.

Your vent is rabid yet you're as nice as pie to your MIL? Really?

rachbc

No idea on the holiday front but I am shocked a bunch of strangers are so bothered about what you are doing for Christmas. Personally i'd rather eat my own eyeballs then spend a moment with my ex mil but like you never stopped her son or in my case her gs doing so.

Conversely I love my current in laws but STILL wouldn't want to spend every Christmas with them - nor would they expect us to.

misgrace

I cannot believe this thread is still going lol

JJJ there is loads of suggestions now on what to do over the Xmas, personally I would concentrate on that and not keep having to defend yourself on why after approx 10 years you dont want to spend Xmas this year with the inlaws.

Admittidly some of your posts sound harsh against the MIL, but there does not seem to be any give from the inlaws only take but I am not the one having to put it up with, you are and its making you resentful so I can see your point.

Make a decision where to book, go enjoy your Xmas with you and your husband, it wont kill the inlaws to fend for themselves one Xmas, you never know, it might make them come down to earth with a bang.

pinkmami

OP - I'd also go away. DH & I would love to go away with they kids as they're 9, 7 & 3. But we have his aunt over. Its excess baggage from his late parents. She lumbered hersefl with them 36 yrs ago for every Christmas (they were too nice to say "please can't you go somewhere else for a change!?") so when they passed away she said one day "so what are our plans for this christmas?!".....DH was rather taken a back & said in a panic "you come to us".:eek: and with us she is. He drives to get her in the morning (8 miles away) & then takes her back about 4pm. He can't have a little drink & she hates noise & kids (my ones as they're very noisy!!!) DH & I have never had a Christmas just for the both of us in the 14 yrs we've been together & the kids would love to go away. We're thinking why should we put a stop to what we want to do when the kids are young?? Then on the other hand the guilt bites us!!!

Just to point out she has another nephew who lives further a field but who can easily come to see us (chooses not to).

We are saving so we can to away one year & TBH we are really looking forward to having "our" Christmas - not anyone elses.

OP - do what you want to do & to hell with what anyone else t hinks after all its your christmas not theirs.

If I were you I'd go for a log retreat in remote Scotland (or Wales!!) & have a very Merry drunk Christmas with each other. xx

Oh one last point - I think there is far too much pressure on people over Christmas to "spend it with family"...its a glorified Sunday roast with too much preperation to do - even though I love it - don't feel guilty cos its just one day. Have her over a week before for a roast if needs much.

liney

Jerryjerryjerry wrote: »

Squeeze me? If I was jealous, then surely i'd disuade him from going round to visit them. Would I not? As it happens, I encourage him. The point here.. if you still haven't got it after this very lengthy thread is that I.. yes, I dont' want to spend any time with them.

I get FORCED to go with my husband or at least have been in the past.. and I am now refusing. They are HIS problem and HE can deal with them. They're nothing to do with me.

As for the son.. nope. He was taken to live with his mother 12 years ago. He rarely had contact with his dad. And then turned up on our doorstep a day before my wedding after having had a huge row with his mother over laziness and lack of motivation to work.

I was not told about his arrival until AFTER the wedding. He was at my wedding, but I didn't see him and nobody bothered to introduce him till afterwards, when we'd got home from the wedding reception. He'd moved in. Just like that. It was a shock. Not jealous, just shocked and disappointed and angry. I was told my husband hadn't even seen him around, for the last two years and that there was no baggage.

Then suddenly, there is this huge, rude, arrogant, workshy, fridge hoover moved in. Luckily we now have our own house.

If you really aren't jelous, then may I suggest you vent your 'shock, dissapointment and anger' at the person who deserves it instead of finding reasons to hate his Mother, and his Son.

Also before criticising MIL grandparenting skills, you could consider she is trying to make the best of a bad lot considering the lack of parenting, and Father figure that your Step-Son has experienced in his teenage years.

Don't get me wrong, I can understand why you are p issed, but you seem to have misdirected your anger. Plus statements like I can't bear him, and I just can't stand her make you sound very precious and melodramatic which is why you have received the responses you have.