Christmas Escape from Mother in Law & Stepson

Jerryjerryjerry

liney wrote: »

Since when are a man's children his 'extended family'?

Both Mother in Law and Son have been around alot longer then you have. Are you jelous?

Squeeze me? If I was jealous, then surely i'd disuade him from going round to visit them. Would I not? As it happens, I encourage him. The point here.. if you still haven't got it after this very lengthy thread is that I.. yes, I dont' want to spend any time with them.

I get FORCED to go with my husband or at least have been in the past.. and I am now refusing. They are HIS problem and HE can deal with them. They're nothing to do with me.

As for the son.. nope. He was taken to live with his mother 12 years ago. He rarely had contact with his dad. And then turned up on our doorstep a day before my wedding after having had a huge row with his mother over laziness and lack of motivation to work.

I was not told about his arrival until AFTER the wedding. He was at my wedding, but I didn't see him and nobody bothered to introduce him till afterwards, when we'd got home from the wedding reception. He'd moved in. Just like that. It was a shock. Not jealous, just shocked and disappointed and angry. I was told my husband hadn't even seen him around, for the last two years and that there was no baggage.

Then suddenly, there is this huge, rude, arrogant, workshy, fridge hoover moved in. Luckily we now have our own house.

Fritillary

Least OP got to eat meat. Last time i went to MILs on Xmas day I was given.....a plate of vegetables :rotfl:

I no longer go for Xmas dinner

Jerryjerryjerry

Fritillary wrote: »

Least OP got to eat meat. Last time i went to MILs on Xmas day I was given.....a plate of vegetables :rotfl:

I no longer go for Xmas dinner

Oh.. we were made to cook it ourselves! The rule is, if any meat is being cooked in her house by anybody other than her grandson, it has to be bought and cooked by that person.

So not only do we have to put up with the witch, but we have to buy all our stuff, take it over there, cook it and eat it to dirty looks from her. She puts her scarf on her face and sits away from us. Looking down on us.

But that's an awful Christmas Dinner... Vegetables on a plate. Can't think of anything less i'd rather eat!

Jerryjerryjerry

Oh.. when any of the sisters come round, we are required to buy the meat, take it round there, cook it, and feed it to everybody. Its totally unfair. The freezer is full of sausages and stuff that we have bought for the boy and she has bought herself as well.

January20

LegalBlonde wrote: »

Why aren't you telling January that there is something inherently wrong in her life and that she is forcing herself on others(????????) if she can get so riled up about people typing on a messageboard.....oh that's right. She agrees with you, silly me.

I'm sorry, with all due respect, this is a very stupid comment to make to the OP with the sole purpose of annoying her! How could she tell me what you said? I'm not forcing myself on others either on the Internet on in RL? I gave an opinion. I'm allowed, aren't I?

DO NOT use my posts to antagonise other posters please!



ETA: Can I come and run up and down the beach covered in green jelly too please? :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

CH27

OP all that comes over is anger & venom from your posts.
That is very unhealthy for you & for your marriage.
You need to find some way to let that venom go.

Nimeth

You know, reading through this thread has made me think that Christmas with just my OH is a d*mn fine idea! Tucked up in a small cottage in Scotland or Yorkshire with a big fire sounds right cosy, might have to look into that.

OP, I can empathise with your situation, my MiL drives me beserk most of the time. I can't stand family gatherings, even when there are other family members there who I do get on with because they never get a chance to open their mouths most of the time. All I ever hear at those is whinging from MiL about all her ailments or how her daughter's done such and such and how will they fix it. I sometimes have episodes of depression that come and go and those are not helped by her constant negativity, and frankly I don't need that sort of thing! I haven't seen her for over a month now and it's bliss. Xmas is particularly bad because she asks everyone for lists of what they'd like or need. Every year SiL and her two kids get every thing on their lists plus extra. OH and I get less than they do and none of it is ever anything we've asked for. It's not even the amounts that bother me, it's the fact that no thought whatsoever goes into the gift giving. That on top of the favouritism that goes on over my OH and SiL is too much for me.

Regarding the vegan/meat thing OP, here's something about my own MiL that may give you a giggle. My MiL won't make pastry with her hands, she's got to use a blender. Fine, whatever. I prefer to make it with my hands, always have done and she's eaten things I've made her with my hands before(and yes I do wash them!). I was making her a sweet tart for Mother's Day round hers once and she was watching me make the shortcrust pastry when she stopped me and we had the following conversation:

MiL: You can't use that, you've had your hands in it!
Me: I have washed my hands, not to worry. It's fine.
MiL: No it's not, toss it out and start again. Use the blender.
Me: *speechless*

It's not that it tasted any different, it was just that I was using my hands to make pastry, which she doesn't like to do. I filed that encounter under bizarre and haven't made her food since.:rotfl:

As for holiday suggestions, if you're looking for something next year too, the south of France might be worth a look. It really is gorgeous country!

puddy

VfM4meplse wrote: »

Egypt is a good bet for a fun-filled week, but bear in mind there are plenty of annoying people there though.

Really? You seem comfortable enough conveying your feelings behind the anonymity of a pseudonym.

I don't think informing you MIL of your feelings towards her and your SS will help at all. Go ahead and book that break, and then tell your MIL straight away. She'll then have 4 months to get used to it, and your actions will speak louder than words. If she invites you over again, just refuse politely. But if she asks you for a reason, then tell the truth, and keep it neutral. Try not to hurt her feelings, but do convey the fact that you have little in common and you can't believe that she actually enjoys spending the day with you anyway.

i think that conveying feelings on the net, where no one knows her or her MIL is quite appropriate. people need to vent, rant or seek support thats the nature of a forum like this. if she was that awful then she would have been directly rude to the woman, but she isnt for the sake of her husband by the sounds of it

mountainofdebt

CH27 wrote: »

OP all that comes over is anger & venom from your posts.
.

That's exactly what I meant when I said the OP sounds very mush like the woman she detests so much.

I'm actually glad that the OP has said that she doesn't want a penny from her MIL - would interesting to know though whether she would suggest that her OH refuses any inheritance that may be left them

puddy

i dont know why you even suggested that she is expecting or wanting money left to her by her MIL, all of her posts read exactly the opposite about other people's money

why shouldnt the OH accept an inheritence from his own mother, once he does that becomes his money and it looks like he has contributed little to the relationship so far so why shouldnt he pay his way if he comes into money?

theres enough here to lambast the OP for, but tenuous criticisms like this are just petty