How much contact for adult children and their parents?

momstheword

I speak to my mum about once a week, I only see her twice a year as we live thousands of miles apart.

I would hope that when my little ones grow up they would phone and visit me more often than I do my own mum.

I think the distance between us, my job, dealing with my own family and a busy lifestyle gets in the way of spending quality time with my parents.

Really I should dedicate a couple of hours in the week to phone for a chat.

ska_lover

I speak to my mum once a week for around an hour, I phone her, she never phones me. When I say 'speak to my mum' I mean, my dad is there also, but hes one of the strong silent type who will speak for a couple of minutes then automatically call mum to the phone.

We see each other 3/4 times a year as live a few hundred miles away.

busiscoming2

I speak to my dad once or twice a week to make sure he is ok and see him maybe once a fortnight even thought he is a 10 min drive away. My FIL phones frequently as he is usually after wanting my DH to do or mend something for him or someone else. We visit them about once every two to three weeks. They too are local.

On the other hand my DD lives abroad and I speak to her via Skype about once a month, but we text and FB quite regularly so we know what each other is up to and we get to see each other a few times a year. DS1 has now graduated and decided to stay in the city and I speak to him about once a fortnight or so but again keep in contact via emails and FB. Don't see him very often though.

CH27

I speak to my dad daily since mum died a couple of years ago & see him 2 or 3 times a week.

Me, OH or son speak to OH's parents a couple of times a week & one of us sees them at least once a week.

Nimeth

I don't think there's any set standard for what's normal contact with parents.

My OH and I try to see his parents as little as possible seeing as they're not terribly interested in us except for what we can do for them.

As for my own parents, I speak to my mother on the phone about once a week or maybe once every two weeks. We don't see my parents much, perhaps 1 every year or 2 years due to the fact that they live over 3,000 miles away across the Atlantic. I suppose this would be considered normal given the circumstances.

sock-knitter

elantan wrote: »

Are you going to help him out?

of course, i am always there for both of my sons, just wish they would show some consideration, especially when i've been in hospital

jjblondie

I've been at university for two years so I'm still in my parents' house for a few weeks per year. I email my Dad probably every other day, but it is usually for practical things with a bit of news thrown in. My mother is trying to build a relationship with me so sends me loads of pestery texts and calls me just to chat. I phone her when I have medical test results or have had an important piece of work back, so probably weekly on average. I'd rather that she'd have just tried to have a relationship in the last 10 years instead of trying to do it all now though. Either way, unless I have something important to say, I wouldn't generally contact them for a chat.

I also only tend to visit for practical reasons, like attending conferences nearby, or an important family birthday, so probably monthly. I'm usually abroad for most of the holidays so don't spend much time there then either.

PasturesNew

When not living at home, I rarely phone (maybe 20 minutes a fortnight). When I lived 3 miles from them and I was in my 30s I probably popped round on my way home for an hour or so once every 3 weeks.

We're not really communicators.

There's nothing for any of us to say except a list of what we've done... then it's all kind of "OK cya then" and we hang up.

My parents have never had a mobile phone, nor a PC.... so it's face to face visits or phone calls. And their phone's never been in a comfortable place for them to get to, so the phone is a functional item used sparingly.

kittiej

I last saw/conversed with my mother about 15 years ago and my father 6 years ago.

Life is so much less complicated.

elantan

sock-knitter wrote: »

of course, i am always there for both of my sons, just wish they would show some consideration, especially when i've been in hospital

Good luck with it all