How much contact for adult children and their parents?

MsHoarder

Newly_retired wrote: »

I think it varies depending on age and stage. When I was much younger we didn't see my parents very often - maybe 6 times a year, but spoke at least once a week on the phone. We lived 70 miles apart. When they got much much older I kept in touch more often and visited them more once they became frail. We talked most days as they got worse. Sadly I was too busy working to be able to do more.
Now that I am retired and a Grandma myself I try to keep in touch with my daughter by email, taxt, phone. How often we meet varies from 10 days to 6 weeks, depending on commitments. We also live 70 miles apart.
As for my son, I rarely hear from him, though he will answer an email almost instantly. His wife never rings me. I visit them most school holidays. I look on Facebook to see photos of the grandchildren.

Seriously? His wife??

Surely its nothing to do with her what contact you have with your son? You can ring him or he can ring you but its not the wife's responsibility to make him.

Peanuckle

I see my parents once a year as we live over 300 miles away and it's rare for us to be able to either afford the petrol or get time off work for DH. My health problems don't help either

I speak to my mother about once a month on the phone and she forwards me emails weekly but never replies to any chatty emails I send

clearing_out_my_pockets

Oh and I don't call my in-laws. Partly because they insist on referring to themselves as my mum and dad rather than my in-laws. I have a mum and dad, thank you.

gingin_2

Peanuckle wrote: »

I speak to my mother about once a month on the phone and she forwards me emails weekly but never replies to any chatty emails I send

My parents are the same but it's not done to hurt, they just are very formal and don't "get" emails ( or texts ). I forward them recipes and pictures but have never had an email chat with them. Maybe it's a generation thing.

kate1976

I speak to my parents several times each day, I also see them near enough every single day due to me living quite close to them, my dad will sometimes phone just to tell me what's on TV, even though he gets me a TV guide weekly, he'll also send me messages on Facebook if I put a ranting status , it can get a little irritating but I wouldn't be without them!

candygirl

I speak/text my Mum every day, and see her about twice a week, my Dad died in 2008:(:(Oh lives about 80 miles from his parents and sees them every couple of months, but we have to make the effort to ring and drive over there.I'm shuddering at the thought of spending 10 days at Xmas with either set of parents:eek::eek::eek:

tanith

My two daughters live fairly closeby and I see one every other day and the other at least once or twice a week and we do speak on the phone and catch up on Facebook with each other and my grandchildren, my son lives abroad pops home maybe 2/3 times a year and comes to lunch while he's here but we also keep updated on Facebook.. I have phonecalls with my brother and sister maybe once a month each one..

oldMcDonald

ailuro2 wrote: »

I haven't spoken to mine in years - it's very sad that some of us didn't end up in the front of the queue when the good parents were being handed out.

Besat decision I ever made, though I would love to have grandparents for my DD that would listen to her, take her down tot he beach etc - we do everything we can but I still think it's nice to have family other than the parents who can give the child the benefit of their love and care.

Exactly the same as above post, sadly

SingleSue

I see my parents pretty much every day when they are home and not at their caravan. When they are away, we speak on the phone or via the computer virtually every day too.

I see my ex mother in law at least once a week, originally she came to my house to see the boys but she has just started to have the two younger ones round for tea once a week....eldest sees her a lot more than me as he will pop into the shop she volunteers at.

Luckily, we all live within 5 miles of each other.

minerva_windsong

I am ashamed to admit that I am really not good at ringing my parents, mainly because I never feel like I have anything to say to them as my life isn't that interesting - it's just get up, go to work, come home, cook dinner, potter and sleep (with the occasional night out but that's normally just meeting friends for coffee or drinks after work). I maybe speak to them every couple of weeks or so, and to my sisters about the same. I know it's my own fault but I just feel a bit like I'm wasting their time when they've got more important things on.

In terms of visits, since I moved to London five months ago I haven't really seen my family other than at a couple of family occasions, the last one being my nephew's first birthday earlier this month. My parents have said they plan to come down here to see me in September though so I'm looking forward to that.

My OH's mum lives over in Hackney so he sees her about once a month, and his grandparents and sister (who both live in the same bit of London as us) about every two weeks, and speaks to them and his dad most weeks, which I do feel a bit jealous of.