Trying for a Baby Part 7

sexymouse

Hugs for you too 2b. Hope both our PMAs come back soon, and that you're feeling less ill soon too.

Thanks to everyone for being so understanding of me and my miserable mood, and for all of your helpful suggestions. I'm on the case of searching for a hotel room, but the travelodges near to me are all quite expensive, and other hotels even moreso. Am in last week of 2ww, so won't need one until November now, so may look nearer the time and see if we can get a last minute room somewhere.

2ba3c

sexymouse wrote: »

Hugs for you too 2b. Hope both our PMAs come back soon, and that you're feeling less ill soon too.

Thanks to everyone for being so understanding of me and my miserable mood, and for all of your helpful suggestions. I'm on the case of searching for a hotel room, but the travelodges near to me are all quite expensive, and other hotels even moreso. Am in last week of 2ww, so won't need one until November now, so may look nearer the time and see if we can get a last minute room somewhere.

I tell you what - those special rates never seem to be for when I want them!

I am clearly a dab hand at it, since the only way we make a baby is in a hotel room!

sexymouse, you come across as one of them most gentle and genuine people on here to me ((hugs)) I hope your PMA returns soon xx

claire16c

Travelodge sounds like a good idea Sexymouse. I dont blame you for not being in the mood to BD with the MIL a wall away, let alone even think about having the big O! My goodness hun. I have to say since coming off the pill my sex drive has definitely got better so hormones and stuff definitely have a big part to play and I doubt you are in an unusual position.

Atleast you are both on the same page in terms of ttc in the fact you both really want a baby, and maybe your DH just needs to realise that if you dont orgasm it doesnt mean you dont want to be BDing for a baby. And you knowing he feels like that must make you feel even worse, even though hes clearly understanding about other stuff. I think emsbet has some good ideas.

Student_Mrs

sexymouse wrote: »

*Serious and very honest stuff, and low PMA alert*

I'm also scared of having tests done in case they do find something is wrong with either of us, especially if they told me that I could never have children.

We discussed the fact that I don't enjoy sex very much (I have an extremely low sex drive), and that it has become very clinical, as he tends to just prop me up with a pillow and the tv remote and then goes off downstairs to watch tv etc. He also said that one of the reasons he finds it hard to perform is because I don't orgasm and he feels like he's letting me down. Trouble is, we live next-door to the MIL, and I can hear her tv through our bedroom wall (we are semi-detached), so I feel a bit inhibited too, so maybe we need to go away for a conception weekend or even just a night in a hotel. I said if I could get pregnant just by taking a tablet, it would be a lot easier.


We also talked about possibly not using the monitors etc for a month or two, and just DTD when we feel like it, but I told him that it wouldn't happen in that case due to my virtually zero sex drive. I just feel really guilty and like there's something wrong with me cos this can't be normal.

sexymouse thank you for being so honest. I read that quote and saw me! we've been married three years, virgins before and I've never orgasmed. It really doesn't bother me but my husband is the same; feels like he's the worst husband in the world because he has quite a high sex drive and because I haven't. We've only been off the pill a week and have BD'd four times! much more than usual and I've enjoyed it though when hubby clicked what I was saying was true that you can only physically get pregnant around ovulation was all "we should only have sex then as you don't like it anyway!" nightmare, even when I explained having come off the pill and finished withdrawal bleed I will have no idea when I ovulate so :rotfl: as ive read that it is more stressful to temp and just do it then so will not be doing that yet...

we also live in a shared house at the mo, my brilliant idea as hubby had only lived with parents and me so i said he needed to experience it - in my defense, i didn't know he'd never really changed his mind about babies the way he said he had! we will be moving in June, it is exciting looking at little two bedroom houses for us and hopefully a mini-us.

anyway i have rambled, but thank you sm. I was worrying I was abnormal as I have often found sex painful, or at least burning afterwards etc, which is why I think I'm low drive - at one point they were testing me for endometriosis but I didnt want to have the scary laproscopy... we are going to docs next week to bring it up but also, I dont want to be told I'm infertile either....

HUGS to all

claire16c

Student_Mrs wrote: »

sexymouse thank you for being so honest. I read that quote and saw me! we've been married three years, virgins before and I've never orgasmed. It really doesn't bother me but my husband is the same; feels like he's the worst husband in the world because he has quite a high sex drive and because I haven't. We've only been off the pill a week and have BD'd four times! much more than usual and I've enjoyed it though when hubby clicked what I was saying was true that you can only physically get pregnant around ovulation was all "we should only have sex then as you don't like it anyway!" nightmare, even when I explained having come off the pill and finished withdrawal bleed I will have no idea when I ovulate so :rotfl: as ive read that it is more stressful to temp and just do it then so will not be doing that yet...

we also live in a shared house at the mo, my brilliant idea as hubby had only lived with parents and me so i said he needed to experience it - in my defense, i didn't know he'd never really changed his mind about babies the way he said he had! we will be moving in June, it is exciting looking at little two bedroom houses for us and hopefully a mini-us.

anyway i have rambled, but thank you sm. I was worrying I was abnormal as I have often found sex painful, or at least burning afterwards etc, which is why I think I'm low drive - at one point they were testing me for endometriosis but I didnt want to have the scary laproscopy... we are going to docs next week to bring it up but also, I dont want to be told I'm infertile either....

HUGS to all

If you have a problem having an orgasm, all I can say is: Rampant Rabbit. Your problems will be no more! I promise!

Also painful sex doesnt mean you are infertile. It could be something like vasgismus?? not sure how to spell that. Or an infection or purely a mental thing of you worrying about it, leading to the physical pain because you are tensing. Dont panic, chances are you are fine.

tinkwings

2ba3c wrote: »

sexymouse, you come across as one of them most gentle and genuine people on here to me ((hugs)) I hope your PMA returns soon xx

^^^^^^ What she said :D:D:D:D:A:A

sexymouse

Aww thank you 2b and tinks - that means a lot.:o

Student_Mrs when you first have sex it can be a bit painful as you tend to be a bit tense due to fear of the unknown. Claire could be right about the vaginismus as you've experienced pain after intercourse before, so you are worried that it will happen again. It will get better. Try to maybe have sex after having a warm shower, or have a bath together - this way you will be more relaxed too. You could also try making sure you are well lubricated, as if you dry out a bit, then this can cause you to feel sore. Preseed and conceive plus are recommended lubricants when TTC as they don't contain spermicide.

I'm glad I shared with you all now, as it's nice to know I'm not alone.

2ba3c

Oh god, I love a rabbit me!

claire16c

Am I imagining it or was it on this post someone came back from their holiday and found out their in-laws had cleaned or redecorated or something along those lines and found a rabbit under the bed and were mortified?? Cant remember who it was now hehe!

2ba3c

Ha!

My DS once found a bottle of lube and asked if it was hand soap!

ETA: It probably wouldn't have been me, but could well have been! My mother has come and cleaned for me when we were on holiday last year... gawd knows what she had a nosey in!