Trying for a Baby Part 7

Primmer

Nicki - no offence taken by me to your post. I have lost just under 2 stone with slimming world this year and got to target weight and my bmi is now under 30. It was a struggle to lose it and I admit a bit has gone back on over last couple of months which I am determined to lose in the new year. A friend and I have reached an agreement that we will weigh in on the same day each week and if there is a gain we have to pay the other £1 for each pound put on which should help keep us on the straight and narrow!

Having said the above I know plenty of women with bmi of over 30 who have given birth to healthy babies without any problems and so I think it is just a case of trying to get yourself in the best shape you can whilst ttc so that if help is needed you can show the steps you have taken.

Nicki

I'm sorry if I have caused offence which wasn't the intention. The issue I was trying to address was the one that the BMI rule for fertility treatment was arbitrary or even deliberately discriminatory which is a belief which comes up often on the thread. All I was trying misguidedly to point out is that there is a solid medical reason for having the rule not just a mindless prejudice against fat people. And the rant about being offered orlistat not clomid or IVF also comes up a lot, even though the rates of success for clomid and IVF are many many times lower than the rate of success of losing weight if very overweight.

I did say very clearly in my first post and am happy to say again that I do not believe and am not suggesting that it is wrong to have a child if overweight.

As for bigzippy's point about "blaming" the parent for a tragedy, as the mother of a very severely disabled child and having suffered 2 losses myself, I am a master at self blame, and to be honest most women who find themselves in that situation will be too. All I will say on that subject though is that IME when a child is diagnosed with a serious disability, then the doctors will look to see if there is some reason for it. And if there was a birth trauma, that has to be investigated, and if maternal weight is a factor it will be mentioned in the investigation. So the chances of a woman not blaming themselves in the event of a tragedy are quite small. In our case, I was of normal weight throughout the pregnancy, did not drink, smoke or take drugs of any kind or have any family history on either side of genetic problems, and I STILL blamed myself for 8 years for my child's problems because she was a ventouse delivery until I went through my notes with my obstetrician and learned she actually got stuck in my pelvis because she was turned sideways and her delivery was not due to my being too unfit or lazy to push hard enough.

sexymouse

Morning ladybugs!

Well first stick on CBFM this morning (low), but I have a feeling it may be a high tomorrow. I was reading a couple of articles last night by US doctors (will see if I can find the link again) about how when TTC, BD can feel like a chore for both people involved, and that ideally we should be having BD every other day throughout the cycle (including the 2ww) to make it feel less pressured around ovulation time. I know this is something we all probably know anyway, and I'm sure some OH's (mine included) may find this difficult to achieve. It also said that having BD just in the 3 or so days around ovulation can actually mean that you miss the fertilisation as some people ovulate earlier than they think. So ... if AF has properly cleared off by tonight, Moon and I are going to start BD every other day from tonight, or if she hasn't gone, from tomorrow. We will try to do this every other day until AF is due next, in the hope that this is a more successful tactic and takes some of the pressure off Moon in a way. Keeping my fingers crossed that we can keep this going, as the most times we've managed in a month before, is 4.:o

I'm off to lunch at a friend's house today, so it will be interesting to see what she makes for me (I'm vegetarian) as she said she was going to get more adventurous with her cooking. :eek: A sandwich would be fine at the moment as my tummy still hasn't recovered from all of the rich food over the Christmas period. I'm starting to think that I'm slightly dairy intolerant as I've eaten a lot of cheese this Christmas and it's made me very bloated! I actually looked like I had a baby bump on a few occasions, but unfortunately, twas a food baby! :rotfl:

Hugs to all who need or want them.

sexymouse xx

Primmer

Sexymouse - good luck with bd plan. I intend to bd more throughout the month to try and take pressure off DH but was thinking between 2-3 times a week and more during ov week.

DH just called as he had doctors appointment this morning to arrange his SA, he is registered at different surgery so had to explain that I had seen my doctor and they had requested he had a SA. The doctor told DH that she didn't know which hospital or where his sample has to go and so she is going to make some phone calls and then arrange for pot and forms to be in reception later for him to pick him up. Doctor also thought he needed to have a blood test but wasn't sure so is going to find out.

sexymouse

Glad the ball is rolling now Primmer, although I'm a bit worried about how unsure your DH's doctor seems to be about everything. Hopefully they are newly qualified and this is why.

Primmer

sexymouse wrote: »

Glad the ball is rolling now Primmer, although I'm a bit worried about how unsure your DH's doctor seems to be about everything. Hopefully they are newly qualified and this is why.

I know it is worrying, I thought maybe as a female doctor she doesn't see many men about their SA as they might prefer a male doctor. DH had not seen her before he said she was a bit dappy but she shocked him when she came out and said "let's see your balls"! :rotfl:

claire16c

Primmer- cant your DH just switch to your surgery so it might make things more streamlined for any future tests?

mrsj28

sexymouse wrote: »

I was reading a couple of articles last night by US doctors (will see if I can find the link again) about how when TTC, BD can feel like a chore for both people involved, and that ideally we should be having BD every other day throughout the cycle (including the 2ww) to make it feel less pressured around ovulation time. I know this is something we all probably know anyway, and I'm sure some OH's (mine included) may find this difficult to achieve. It also said that having BD just in the 3 or so days around ovulation can actually mean that you miss the fertilisation as some people ovulate earlier than they think.

Thanks for this sexymouse - really helpful and I definitely agree good to BD regularly throughout cycle, especially to take the pressure off and means the men don't need to know when we are OVing (which definitely puts more pressure on my poor OH!)

TeamLowe

hello ladies, i hope we're all good
to those whose christmastime has been tinged with sadness like mine has, i hope it was as good as it could be. i for one am determined to look forward to the new year and the chance of my forever baby, with the exception of the first weekend as the baby was meant to be due on the 7/8th (depending on who calculated it)
but after that we're on with 2012 goodness which means two new strategies in the Lowe household:-
1) BD every 2-3 days throughout my cycle. decided that OPKs would just confuse and worry me if they didn't work and husband doesn't like me temping cos he can hear the beep of the thermometer and it makes him feel pressured if he knows i'm tracking things closely. Plus the last pregnancy was a happy suprise so i've no idea what i did right that time apart from lots of BDing lol

2) taking good care of myself. low gi diet, which i have decided to name 'no potatoes til pregnancy' cos it amuses me, not really bothered about seeing the scales go down, although i do need to get my bmi down, but eating better, less pap, in the hope that it will help me to get pregnant and will then find it easier to take care of myself when pregnant. Also make sure i take my metformin, aspirin and folic acid every day. not adding anything else otherwise i'll start rattling when i walk :rotfl:

love to you all x x

bigzippy

Nicki wrote: »

I'm sorry if I have caused offence which wasn't the intention.

I was not offended, and wasn't suggesting anyone else was either I read your post with interest, and agree with all the points you made, I just ended up feeling rather deflated and negative after ruminating on it for a while, and didn't want other ladies to feel the same - that was the only reason I posted about it

Like I say, my original post was IN NO WAY an attack. I wasn't having a dig at you, at all, Nicki. I appreciated your original post and it also pretty much sums up some of the things I've been reading lately too.

Once I'd gotten my head around it (and the "guilt"), I was actually encouraged that in something like 11 out of 12 (I can't remember where I read it now, so can't link it) cases of infertility, where the woman was overweight to begin with, losing weight was key to becoming pregnant.

It made me feel more in control again, once it sunk in, which is something I think we all struggle with while TTC :cool:

sexymouse wrote: »

I was reading a couple of articles last night by US doctors (will see if I can find the link again) about how when TTC, BD can feel like a chore for both people involved, and that ideally we should be having BD every other day throughout the cycle (including the 2ww) to make it feel less pressured around ovulation time. I know this is something we all probably know anyway, and I'm sure some OH's (mine included) may find this difficult to achieve. It also said that having BD just in the 3 or so days around ovulation can actually mean that you miss the fertilisation as some people ovulate earlier than they think.

Every doctor (including FS) I've been to have said the same/similar. FS's only advice (other than lose weight and take folic acid) was to BD 2-3times a week and for DH to wear loose underwear

:wave: to all, I'm off back to lurkdom while various Christmas-type family events are taking place

Oh, btw, hope the tests go well Primmer.