Trying for a Baby Part 7

time2deal

Primmer wrote: »

Time2Deal - how did you get on at the doctors?

Not good to be honest. I have just managed to stop crying, and busy here researching options.

Good news first - blood tests were all good, and there is no reason to not continue trying. The tests showed that is looked like I ovulated - progesterone (?) in the right area for CD21, and FH (I think) was fine on CD5, so all good signs.

He said next step was to go to the fertility clinic, but they were very strict on entry guidelines. And then asked me to weight myself, which showed I am much heavier than I thought, and therefore ineligible for any further help it seems. Which really upset me - I have worked so hard, and lost so much size in the last 8 months I really don't know what else to do. Diet, exercise, running - I really can't see why I simply don't lose weight. If I try starving myself if just doesn't work as I get hungry and then eat too much later...

So, anyway he prescribed me Orlistat, which I have since found out is just Alli, and I have to lose weight in the next 4 weeks or they don't let me continue. I'm so depressed - the stupid weight won't go anywhere no matter what I do and it's p"£$%$$ng me off. I am not that big I don't think, but to have this arbitrary rule regardless of being healthy, normal bloods etc is very painful.

I am really upset, but I guess we all soldier on. I suppose I have been pretty slack with diet for the last 2 months, but to have put in almost 10kg in that time seems horribly unfair. I actually ended up in tears in the doctors office - he was just so nice and helpful, but clear that there was nothing he could do about the weight.

Depressed, and no ss to speak of, so not optimistic about this month, or any month right now.

Thank you for asking though! I do appreciate that at least I can discuss this here, if nowhere else.

Birdie85

Congratulations on the engagement Flee! Lovely ring

CD4 for me. AF just had to arrive on Christmas dad didn't it, after taking 50 days to get here! Typical! Been a bit of a bad week for me really, had a stomach bug on Friday and Saturday and was in so much pain with the cramping, then AF on Sunday so more cramping, but of a different type. Now I've got a cold and have turned into a snot monster (with a sore scabby nose!) OH put it quite nicely last night, 'You've had everything that can possibly leave your body do so in the past 4 days, sick, poo, blood, tears, mucus, snot... even pus from your new spots!' :eek: :rotfl: Really hoping that this is the end of it!

Looking on the bright though; we could have a September/October baby now (was never mad keen on a July/August baby), if we get PG now we'll be on track for the Medicash payout as we'll have been with them a year by the time the baby is born, I can have a drink on NYE and I'm actually glad that AF arrived as I was getting worried that my cycle reached 50 days with nothing happening!

emsbet

((hugs)) timetodeal and birdie

xx

time2deal

Now I think about it - perhaps this depression is some kind of emotional mood swing! May as well be optimistic.

Signature updated now, so perhaps that will give me motivation if people are 'watching'. At least it gives me the courage to check the scales again. sigh...

Primmer

Hugs Birdie - hope you are feeling better and af clears off.

Time2deal - huge hugs, I do hope you can start feeling more positive about things soon. Your blood test results are a good sign so keep up the bding as it could be your month soon. Maybe the tablets will help with weight loss. I do know it from personal experience that losing weight is tough and gaining it seems to happen so quickly. don't give up hope x

emsbet

time2deal wrote: »

Now I think about it - perhaps this depression is some kind of emotional mood swing! May as well be optimistic.

Signature updated now, so perhaps that will give me motivation if people are 'watching'. At least it gives me the courage to check the scales again. sigh...

Do you follow a weight loss programme like weight watchers or slimming world? I did SW last year and found it really easy to stick to. I lost about 1 stone before my wedding. I found it easier to break it up into the amount I needed to lose over a week rather than the total as it was less daunting.

We will all help give you some support if you need it.

xx

TTC40

http://www.sheffield.nhs.uk/services/resources/specialisedfertilitypolicy.pdf

Just been reading this in advance of visiting GP.

As I thought, BMI over 30 & age over 39 = no chance of support (although I'm not sure if this includes initial tests).

If the GP says that tests won't be done until BMI under 30, we will consider going privately (whilst I continue to diet).

time2deal

TTC40 wrote: »

http://www.sheffield.nhs.uk/services/resources/specialisedfertilitypolicy.pdf

Just been reading this in advance of visiting GP.

As I thought, BMI over 30 & age over 39 = no chance of support (although I'm not sure if this includes initial tests).

If the GP says that tests won't be done until BMI under 30, we will consider going privately (whilst I continue to diet).

They did the tests for me no problem on NHS. I have looked at private, and while it is costly, we can afford it if necessary. Presumably they are less fussy.

After about 4 days of silent treatment and moodyness, OH has cooked dinner to clear the air. Fish and chips!

Primmer

The rules are different everywhere but doctor told me that I could have tests but not ivf as they only offer it where couples have been ttc for 3 years and female aged between 30-34. I didn't even meet my DH until I was 30 so was never really going to be able to qualify for ivf here.

Nicki

I think that even privately you will struggle to get a doctor to do IVF with a high BMI unless you are prepared to go abroad where ethical guidelines are different. I am sorry that some of you have had an upsetting time for this reason today. I don't want to add to that upset in any way by preaching but I did just want to pick up on the suggestion that it is an arbitrary rule. This isn't the case at all. It's in place partly because the risk of neonatal death for mum and baby is much much higher for very overweight women and also serious disability caused by birth complications. It is usually not possible to monitor babies antenatally or during labour when a woman is morbidly obese so not possible to tell if the baby is in distress during a natural delivery but the risks of a c section for an obese woman are off the scale so can only be offered in a dire emergency. My BF is a midwife and the only two woman she has lost have both had BMIs over 35, and she has delivered a few babies with severe disabilities caused by oxygen deprivation during labour which has been missed because the woman was too overweight to detect a fetal heartbeat using a monitor.

No one is saying overweight ladies can't have a baby. The current guidelines offer fertility treatment to woman who are up to 3-4 stone above the highest healthy weight for their height, which could in fact be about 5 stone heavier than her actual ideal weight as the healthy BMI covers a wide range of frames and muscle densities. But where a woman is already 6 or 7 stone too heavy, and may put on another 3 or 4 during the pregnancy, the health risks for the baby are just too high to make it ethical to assist a woman to get into this situation where nature has put the brakes on.

There is also the fact that excess weight is a primary cause of infertility in it's own right, and assisting a woman to lose weight by orlistat or supported slimming is a valid fertility treatment in it's own right. Unless there are known issues such as blocked tubes or low sperm counts, very few infertile woman go straight to IVF. We are all expected to explore the other routes to resolve the possible reasons for our infertility first (in my case drugs and surgery for PCOS and IUIs) which is also time consuming and gruelling and doesn't always work.

I am aware this is blunt, and I'm sorry if the timing is bad. I know weight loss is hard, and have in the past lost 3 stone in a block myself, but it was to be honest easier than the failed IVF attempt I had when trying to conceive my first child. I am also fairly fresh from spending time with an acquaintance whose baby died at 2 days old due to oxygen deprivation during labour (who was a larger lady who conceived naturally) so am aware that even in this day and age such awful tragedies happen more often than we like to contemplate.