Being a homemaker even after the kids have left home

affordmylife

i love love love this thread and i want to be a homemaker full time.

im a teaching assistant and i love the job. i do 25 hours a week and really have no pressure or responsibility. however it does mean that all the lovely things i want to do at home dont happen during term time.

im currently on summer holiday so im living the dream. its utterly perfect.

cooking, knitting, dog walking, sorting out all the families clothes (only one dd left at home now). gardening etc.

im 44 and intend to finish work when im 49 so im definitely counting down until i can join the homemakers club xxx

katieclampet

I think its great to stay at home, and be a home maker, if that is what you want to do, and can afford it. Personally I would rather poke my eyes out with sticks!!! :rotfl:

Not a criticsm of those that make that choice, its just not for me. I enjoy my financial independence and hate the idea of not working. I did used to have a high flying career, but cut back to lesser hours, and a less stressful job. Gives me time to spend with my family, and do the the things I enjoy.

katie

nannyboo1

I so want to reply to this thread and am not sure where to start or what to put to make sense so here goes.

Firstly only you know what is best for you and if it will work but it doesn't matter what anyone thinks apart from you and your husband.

All I have ever wanted was to be happily married and have a big family and stay at home and look after them all. Got the first bit (second time around though) and sadly never had the children. I have worked all my life and next year I will have worked in childcare for 30 years (20 as a nanny, 3 months in a nursery and the last 8 years as a childminder).

When I started childminding hubby paid the mortgage and bills and my wage paid for the extras and I enjoyed my job and if I wasn't full then it didn't matter. I had no stress doing a job I loved time to do my housework and time to spend with my hubby at weekends enjoying oursleves. Over the past few years the job has become harder with more paperwork eating into the time I had for doing the household stuff so now that gets done at the weekend instead of enjoying time with hubby. We doubled the mortgage to make space in the house for the children to play and then a loan to upgrade the garden to make a pleasant environment for the children when the EYFS came in.So now I work6 days a week even longer hours.

If I had the choice I would give it up tomorrow in a flash. I would give anything to be a homemaker and to have the time and energy for my husband. It would mean that instead of being a mardy B**** when we are together we could have quality time together, I wouldn't resent having to take my elderly mother in her 80's shopping because it is my one day off and I don't want to go shopping for myself let alone have to do hers as well, I also would be able to do things for her, again without resenting having to do it because I have just spent 6 days working from 7.30 - 6.30 most days and just want to sleep. ( I know that sounds bad and I don't really resent doing it - well not much).

I have a lovely home and garden but to be perfectly honest if there is any way we could sell it move somewhere smaller then I would give up my home and the job I love and adore to have time to enjoy my life.

All my friends think I am mad wanting to not work but everyone is different. One of the reasons I am on this forum is to find ways to try and make this happen. At the moment we have two elderly mothers that would make moving away impossible but our aim is to get to the stage where once they are no longer with us we will be able to achieve the lifestyle we want.

My only words to you would be don't worry what others think you have to do what is right for you. Your health is the most important thing you have. Whatever your decision is good luck xxx

juliapenguin

I'm so moved by so many wonderful replies, and no longer feel alone and afraid about how I'll manage being at home if that is what happens.

I just want to say that the only reason we can afford for me to stay home is that we have VERY modest expectations of life as far as material things are concerned. We have one ancient car and live in a small (Council Tax A band) privately rented apartment. We both love reading library books and drinking tea, and go to the wonderful free art galleries and museums in our city. We DO have a mortgaged house in another place which we rented out when it just wouldn't sell, but as soon as the tenant moves out (hopefully not any time soon) we'll sell it and get rid of the big mortgage debt. We'll buy something very small with a little garden so that DH can have a garden again.

I know that lots of people are not as lucky as I am to be able to stay home if I need to, and I do appreciate my good fortune, but we now live on so much less than I ever thought possible, whether I'm working or not.

The Modern Homemakers Club: what a great idea for a thread. Shall we start one?

Chickenopolis

Yorkshirelass- thank you- what a great post!

snoozer

I gave up work at the end of March and I don't regret the decision one bit (I'm 53 by the way). I enjoyed my job but it made me too tired to do a lot else, my dad and mum were both very ill and I found that I was increasingly having to drop everything to drive 200 miles ot see to them. Now I can go whenever I need to (and when I want to). I'm quite happy with my own company, but I go to weightwatchers and have joined a gym. It's much easier to be healthy now I'm not tired all the time.

DH is a bit envious but he's got to work for a few more years, poor thing, unless he's made redundant, which would be nice.

The best moment of my week - Monday mornings when I wake up and think "No rush, there's nothing you have to get up for!"

juliapenguin

I've started a new thread but can't see it on the board.

meritaten

Juliapenguin - when I quit being a Student Support Tutor because the college decreed they had to have teaching qualifications wasnt because I didnt love the job - I did! absolutely adored it! But, I saw the stress the teaching staff were having - I know of two in one department who had 'stress issues' and were on sick leave - and strongly suspected that anyone on staff with teaching qualifications would be 'pressured' to replace them. I wasnt going to do that - the teaching itself was a joy - it was the paperwork, the departmental politics, and all the sheer !!!!! that came with it! I loved Student Support because I didnt have to deal with all that carp (except in one class where I got sort of imposed on the Tutor and she hated me! tried to make MY life difficult and indeed got another SST fired). I cant cope with that - it was easier to leave - especially as I had just been offered another job in the college as a Department Administrator, covering for extended maternity leave in the Construction Dept.
(Ceridwen - that fell into my lap out of the blue too!). er - I really hate to tell you this as it sounds like bragging...........but the head of Dept I worked for for 3 months, then left for a real prestige job with this huge construction company - and asked ME if would take the job as his PA! I had to turn it down as it was - Full time, Permanent, and would involve travel (with the boss)! LMAO the salary was tempting - but, I dont DO Full time, or Permanent!

juliapenguin

I still can't get a new thread going - what am I doing wrong???

Chipps

It seems ok, I found it!