Being a homemaker even after the kids have left home

valk_scot

mardatha wrote: »

Now everybody is being made redundant and having hours cut, and suddenly women who dont stay at home all day and knit lentils for tea are looked down on.

Don't be silly, you can't knit lentils! You can knit soya beans though......:rotfl:

juliapenguin

I had a 'discussion' today with Evil Ex-Boss about the possibility of me going back for 5 hours a week instead of 20. He was so patronising and rude - I'm really annoyed with myself for agreeing to go. He made it seem like I was begging to go back, whereas actually they approached me (via a much nicer person) to suggest it!

I've come away feeling shaky and anxious - he told me he would need time to think over whether I would be an 'asset to the business'... He's one of the most horrible people I ever met - I can't believe I'm even contemplating going back there, even for just two afternoons a week!

[Deleted User]

what exactly is a homemaker?

You see, I don`t get it, my dd works full time and she and her dh have made a lovely home. I have made a lovely home and I am here all the time and I am busy all day long but looking back, my home was also a lovely welcoming home during the years when I worked full time. So what exactly do you mean by a homemaker?

juliapenguin

That's a good question.

For me, a homemaker is someone who sees that as his/her primary job. Because I have trouble coping with paid work and household duties at the same time because of health issues, becoming a full-time homemaker is an option that I'm considering. It obviously has advantages and disadvantages, and this is what I'm exploring here.

I really and truly envy people who can make a lovely home as well as working in a demanding career - we ran the home between us in the sense that we ate meals and just about managed to keep on top of laundry and financial stuff, but I was run ragged and didn't find my home a peaceful place.

I'm not trying to say that you can't do both - it's just that I can't do both! Maybe things will change over time and my health will improve, but I'm facing decisions about my work and am finding it helpful to have this discussion.

meritaten

To me, despite my myriads of 'jobs' I view myself as a homemaker. my jobs centred around my family and home and if the fit wasnt right - I resigned the job! so, to me the homemaker views her main role as just that! I do know (cos I tried it occasionally in the early days), that I do NOT have either the energy or the inclination to both raise a family and run a comfortable home AND do full time work! I am in awe of women and men who can do both! but it isnt me!

jeanniebeanie_2

Haven't had chance to read the whole thread yet, so apologies if this has been covered, but one of the most awkward things for me in periods of choosing not to be in paid work, was answering the question "what do you do" when introduced to people on formal occasions (DH's works 'do's' in particular)

Whatever I answered felt wrong. "Homemaker" felt somehow American, "Housewife" made me feel old and frumpy and "Full Time Mum" when the kids were teenagers seemed inadequate, so I would find myself waffling about what I used to do and why I no longer did that. Strangers don't ask that question wanting a life story, but I never found a succinct way of answering that I felt summed me up.

I want to make it clear that I was very happy and busy during those periods and was in no way embarrassed to be at home, I just felt the need to explain which I felt came across as excuse.

Kitty_Ears

juliapenguin wrote: »

I really and truly envy people who can make a lovely home as well as working in a demanding career - we ran the home between us in the sense that we ate meals and just about managed to keep on top of laundry and financial stuff, but I was run ragged and didn't find my home a peaceful place.

Agreed! I'm a student nurse, which means that we're in Uni 5 days a week, 9-5pm and then full time placement for 6 months of the year. I have no clue how anyone keeps a clean home while a work, my flat falls to pieces. I then spend all day Sunday washing, cleaning, hoovering, ironing... :mad:

rachbc

Kitty_Ears wrote: »

Agreed! I'm a student nurse, which means that we're in Uni 5 days a week, 9-5pm and then full time placement for 6 months of the year. I have no clue how anyone keeps a clean home while a work, my flat falls to pieces. I then spend all day Sunday washing, cleaning, hoovering, ironing... :mad:

We I find it all easier to do when i AM at work - been off last week with the kids and the place is a bombsite, I'm out of my routine and of course we are in the house making it messy with toys, dens, baking, new kittens. At least if I can make the beds and clear the breakfast table in the morning before we leave the house I know it will look the same when I get home!

juliapenguin

rachbc wrote: »

We I find it all easier to do when i AM at work - been off last week with the kids and the place is a bombsite, I'm out of my routine and of course we are in the house making it messy with toys, dens, baking, new kittens. At least if I can make the beds and clear the breakfast table in the morning before we leave the house I know it will look the same when I get home!

If I had new kittens in the house, I wouldn't do a thing except play with them....

I absolutely adore kittens.

red_devil

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