I asked him to leave, pregnant, now what?

FBaby

VfM4meplse wrote: »

Not as bad as being deliberately misquoted my dear..

Ha ha, indeed, better change this quickly

VfM4meplse wrote: »

And I think you will find that until such time that the child is born, women should put their own needs first. I'm not referring to exposing the unborn baby to phsyical harm, btw.

If putting their own needs first means that they are pushing away the father of their future child not giving him a chance, then no, I don't agree!

tiamai_d

Any wrote: »

Just one little correction....
I am not pregnant and not a mother and I hate it!!!
Just because I was born female I was not born to be male's slave!:D

Yeah I was going to change that to include when we have PMT or any other time of the month or if you have boobs or even a peepee but I have to go do the ironing that Hubby promised to do last week.... :rotfl:

FBaby

Any wrote: »

I completely agree.
But if everything was rosy before you sometimes don't even consider such an eventuality... Hind sight is a beatiful thing.

I agree with you too, but when you do things at risk, you accept the consequences and don't just blame the other.

VestanPance

Any wrote: »

Just because I was born female I was not born to be male's slave!:D

If he had his own place would it be pretty obvious from looking at that what his attitude to housework was? Unless he did none there, which should have been a warning sign. If you can do it all when it's just you, then it's easier to half it between two of you when you share a place.

FBaby

VfM4meplse wrote: »

Gender related? Unlikely. As a human being? I have no argument with that.

Yeah, I do consider him as a human being rather than a sperm donor!

Any

FBaby wrote: »

I agree with you too, but when you do things at risk, you accept the consequences and don't just blame the other.

Why not, if he is to blame? Which we don't know...
But what I am saying is - if you risked it, it turned out wrong, then must you just put it with it?

FBaby

Aen't we jumping to conclusions here that he is being a lazy bum not doing anything in the house? All that's been said is:

moneyhoney1 wrote: »

He uses my utilities, broadband, watches tv and does very little else to help without prompting.

I feel that OP had more an issue with the finances than how much he contributes time/effort-wise. Using the utilities might be using water to do the dishes, but not paying for it or using broadband might be to look for a tenant

Any

VestanPance wrote: »

If he had his own place would it be pretty obvious from looking at that what his attitude to housework was? Unless he did none there, which should have been a warning sign. If you can do it all when it's just you, then it's easier to half it between two of you when you share a place.

No, it wouldn't be pretty obvious... Depends on how much the brother does, do they have a help, brother's g/f might have been doing something, they might have not been spending much time at his...

And mostly of all - if you are in love and with rose glasses on, you don't walk around checking dust on shelves before you decide to move your love in!!

It would be great if one did, but I have never met one like that yet..

Also - my husband can cook, but he assumed I am cooking as I am female... And I do, fortunately as a proper man with balls he cooks when I ask him to without throwing a strop:-)

FBaby

Any wrote: »

Why not, if he is to blame? Which we don't know...
But what I am saying is - if you risked it, it turned out wrong, then must you just put it with it?

I would think it is likely he is going through the same disillusion, in which case, it is not a case of putting/not putting up with, but seating down and discussing things.

I think what gets me with this thread is the fact that OP toook it upon herself to tell her partner to go back to his place with the potential devastating consequences when she is now unavoidably linked to him through a child all because he hasn't contributed as much as she wished for 3 months. Surely that deserved a good heartfelt serious discussion, not an argument resulting in him moving out?

Any

FBaby wrote: »

Aen't we jumping to conclusions here that he is being a lazy bum not doing anything in the house? All that's been said is:



I feel that OP had more an issue with the finances than how much he contributes time/effort-wise. Using the utilities might be using water to do the dishes, but not paying for it or using broadband might be to look for a tenant

From the part you quoted I don't think we are jumping to conclusions at all actually...
I didn't see the finances bit as a main thing (very very important, but not only), that is how many people here interpreted it... but if you read these boards, it is very often the case.

People always go for the money!!!