I asked him to leave, pregnant, now what?

Any

FBaby wrote: »

That would explain the above. My partner and I were together 2 years before we moved in together. When he came over to mine, he did little because it wasn't his, although he was almost obsessed with housework in his house.

Sorry??????????
Doing nothing in the house you live in and where you make mess (just naturally, by living in it) is somehow excusable????

You need a name on the deeds to do washing up??

Every day you learn something new...

FBaby

VfM4meplse wrote: »

There are tens of thousands of women over the age of 30 that have yet to have children and would consider that conception at their age to be a real blessing.

A child is a blessing at any age. The fact that she is 37 makes no difference at all. Being over 35 and having a slightly reduce chance of conceiving doesn't mean that you have more right to think of what is best for you rather than the child.

VfM4meplse wrote: »

Give an inch and they will take a mile.

Oh dear, you must have had it very bad...

That's better

FBaby

Any wrote: »

Sorry??????????
Doing nothing in the house you live in and where you make mess (just naturally, by living in it) is somehow excusable????

You need a name on the deeds to do washing up??

Every day you learn something new...

Need to read better. I was talking about my situation, we were not living together yet... What I was trying to explain is that you are much less likely to want to invest yourself in a house that isn't yours than in your own. Of course if in the OP's case, her man does absolutely nothing at all around, being a lazy bum and never intend to give her more than £100 a month, that would indeed make him a sponger, but surely it doesn't take 2 years together to realise this, even if they were not leaving together?

VfM4meplse

FBaby wrote: »

Oh dear, you must have had it very bad...

Not as bad as being deliberately misquoted my dear.

And I think you will find that until such time that the child is born, women should put their own needs first. I'm not referring to exposing the unborn baby to phsyical harm, btw.

Any

FBaby wrote: »

Need to read better. I was talking about my situation, we were not living together yet... What I was trying to explain is that you are much less likely to want to invest yourself in a house that isn't yours than in your own. Of course if in the OP's case, her man does absolutely nothing at all around, being a lazy bum and never intend to give her more than £100 a month, that would indeed make him a sponger, but surely it doesn't take 2 years together to realise this, even if they were not leaving together?

I see.
I disagree - it often only takes living together to realise this.

FBaby

Any wrote: »

I see.
I disagree - it often only takes living together to realise this.

Then you wait before falling pregnant....

tiamai_d

There are several issues here and I think its all just gotten muddled up and feeling as you do while pregnant, its exploded and its all pouring out.

You need him to contribute towards what? I'd go with food, baby equipment, broadband, tv and phone - the entertainment stuff. That way you keep paying the morgage and the bills for the house, the house is still fully your own but he is contributing towards what he is enjoying. Then you need to discuss him moving in fully if thats what you wish to do.

He is being lazy at home (as in the home you both made when living together). Every pregnant woman hates this, every mother hates this and it does have to be sorted out before the baby arrives. The hormones make you tired and you feel it and you start to notice any imbalance in the chore sharing.

As well as being lazy at home he is being lazy in not getting a tennant and getting income.

Then there is the financial aspect of it. You need to sit down and have a look at his finances to find out if he is truely unable to contribute to your home or if he is coming it. There is also an issue with exactly how much debt he has and whether you are willing to have it as baggage with him.

Yeah, it should have been dealt with before a baby was brought into the scene, but probably back then it didn't seem anywhere as bad as it does now. You have 26 weeks (if you're 14 weeks gone) to get it sorted out before the baby arrives. Are you a list writer? Could you sit down and make a list of what you need him to do in order to sort this situation? If he pulled his weight more would you be happy for him to live there while contributing very little?

Any

FBaby wrote: »

Then you wait before falling pregnant....

I completely agree.
But if everything was rosy before you sometimes don't even consider such an eventuality... Hind sight is a beatiful thing.

VfM4meplse

FBaby wrote: »

What a pathtic shallow comment! My man is not able to produce enough sperm to create a child, but as a 40% tax payer, i think he is serving his purpose to the planet and certainly serving a purpose in my life making me a very happy partner...

Gender related? Unlikely. As a human being? I have no argument with that.

Any

tiamai_d wrote: »

He is being lazy at home (as in the home you both made when living together). Every pregnant woman hates this, every mother hates this and it does have to be sorted out before the baby arrives. The hormones make you tired and you feel it and you start to notice any imbalance in the chore sharing.

Just one little correction....
I am not pregnant and not a mother and I hate it!!!
Just because I was born female I was not born to be male's slave!:D