Rubbish at this Mum thing......

astonsmummy

guiltyqueen wrote:

DH did the bathing last night.

DD rolled over yesterday evening!!! :j

Also just wanted to say a big thank you to everyone who has posted. Thank-you for all your comments. Your all :A

Well done that baby:j :T
See if you was a bad mum you wouldnt be so excited!

I think thats the reason we keep going through the sleep deprevation, coz there are so many other wonderful things that it balances out!
Seriously now looking back i am amazed how i managed to survive on such little sleep, i never had anyone to share the sleepless nights with which could be so dishartening at times but somehow i got through, i had to.
Now i look back i feel so proud of myself that i've been to despare and come back the other side fairly unscathed!
Nothing can prepeare you for being a parent, lone or in a relationship, and it's possibly the hardest job in the world but also the most rewarding.
You sound like your doing a good job so keep up the hard work it will all work out in the end xx

Mics_chick

Deleted_User wrote:

Dogrose, what's the 'S' word? Sling?? Sorry in my sleep deprived state I'm not getting the connection.

We are going to use DS's travel cot as a playpen when he is old enough, for now lying in his baby gym or in his bouncy chair is sufficient for him. And he ALWAYS goes to sleep when we don't want him too and never when we do!!

Like now, he's had quite a long nap this morning (for him) and i've had to be limited to the lounge to give DF a lie in, so I can't get anything done to make the most of it. Yet tonight we are bound to be up past midnight trying to get him to sleep. We try not to let him have more than 2 hours of a day time nap, but having read here that an over tired baby in the evening will not sleep at night, I wonder if we are doing the right thing. I wonder if we should just let him sleep when and for how long he wants to without waking him up? Will he eventually right himself or do we need to encourage him by waking him?

What do others think? Although other days he doesn't nap that long in the day at all, its all very sporadic and very unpredictable including his feeding.

Some babies are like that especially if they're breastfed IMO. My first (dd) was like this and I was at end of my tether after just 3 weeks. :eek: Bought "contented baby" book by Gina Ford and never looked back. She was sleeping through in a matter of weeks but it did take longer to get her to sleep during the day.

Although someone has put a link on here for a no cry method of helping them sleep - I think I would have used this if it had been available then.

roversbabe

Hi guiltyqueen,

You're doing great. YOU ARE NOT A BAD MUM (sorry for shouting but you're not a bad mum)

Being a 1st time mum is bloomin difficult, my son is nearly 6 months old and I'm still winging it on a lot of things - I'll still get nappies on backwards LOL.

From what you've said, it sounds like you're doing a great job of being there for your baby and you are trying your best. Can you let OH take over for a couple of nights so you get some sleep.

I'd recommend The Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg - its like my mummy bible at the moment, I'd be lost without it.

Good luck ((((((hugs))))))

Alison x

Deedee73

Hi guiltyqueen,

All of the above posts are fantastic, you have made me smile a lot!
my littlun is 10 mnths next week, he started offbeing an angel, but in the past 2 months has decided that he does NOT want to go to bed, it's much more fun keeping Mummy and Daddy awake!

I feel guilty when I put him to bed and shut the door, leaving him scream himself to sleep! Sometimes I hear this banging, I pooped my pants until I realised he hadn't managed to climb over the sides of the cot, he had found out how to bang his toys on the wall! I tell you, I love him with all my heart, but when he acts like his atention demanding Dad, I wish I didn't!!

LOL hang on in there hun, you are a fabadoodlydoo Mummy, and when the littlun's are old enough to tell you, it will all be worth while.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((SUPER HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Savvy_Sue

You're NOT a rubbish mum (a rubbish mum wouldn't bother to ask the question!), you're doing a grand job! Now, find a mirror, and say to yourself several times a day:

"I am the best mum my darling daughter will ever have, and I am doing the best job I know how, and that IS good enough!"

lil_me wrote:

It does get better, noone is perfect, especially not the babies.

:rotfl:

guiltyqueen wrote:

I'm rocking her to sleep in then end as she wont sleep. I went to a Mother and Baby group and the community Nursery Nurse said if you rock them to sleep, fall asleep being fed... thats what you will always be doing, and making a rod for your own back... She even said laughing some parents drive the kids round in the car till they sleep!!! (I m thinks sounds good only I might fall asleep while driving.)

Well, I ALWAYS fed DS1 to sleep, on my boob, and if that didn't work he was in a moses basket on the floor and I let him suck my finger pretty much all night it felt like, he wouldn't take a dummy or a bottle, ever.

He's 19 now and off at Uni, funnily enough I think he'd be mightily embarrassed if I offered to help him get to sleep like that now! :rotfl:

At this age, you do whatever works for you. When it stops working for you (ie you want to stop rocking her to sleep), you find a new way of doing it.

OK, so you're 'making a rod for your own back'. And I agree, when I stopped feeding DS1 during the day, it was a complete nightmare to get him to sleep during the day (and yes, he did still need a nap!) because his preferred method of going to sleep was being fed to sleep. But we both survived. He would stand in his cot and bawl, eventually he would fall asleep standing up, fall over and wake himself up because he'd banged his head, and the whole sorry process would repeat itself. Or I would physically hold him down for five minutes, until he was asleep.

DS2 NEVER fell asleep feeding. So getting him to go to sleep was a different game. For him we had a wind up lullaby toy, it played for 10 minutes. I'd wind it, leave him, and only go back to him if he was still crying after 10 minutes. We also used 'white noise' (detuned radio) with him.

A small nightlight might help your daughter. And if you don't have any toys in her cot, that might help too.

But until your children can read the books or answer the experts back, you don't have to do exactly what the books or the experts say. You find what works for you, and you do that, and you adapt and survive. And, most important, you sleep when she sleeps!

Hugs!

kathyd_2

Sorry, I haven't read all this thread so apologies if I repeat what has already been said, but just wanted to say YOUR ARE NOT A RUBBISH MUM. Babies don't come with a set of instructions - wish they had've done - I spent the first week bawling my eyes out every time my baby did :rolleyes: Just remember one thing, you will probably NEVER have a deep sleep again. Mum's live on automatic pilot. When your kids are out, your mind is out there with them; when they worry about something, you worry about it too; when someone hurts them, they hurt you too; when their heart breaks, yours will break also, but when they're laughing, you will be at your happiest.

Can I just say to print off your thread and you can show it to your daughter in years to come. Whats the betting she will laugh with you about your unfounded worries ? She'll probably feel exactly the same when she has a child. Relax and enjoy being her mummy.

montycat_2

Just to add my experience .

I have 3 daughters -eldest10then9,then 6 .

MY HV told me that you can't spoil a baby under a year .I used to feed mine ,wind them and rock them to sleep right up until they were 6 or 7 months .

We started controlled crying at 8 months old .I wanted to tell you this as ,you don't make a rod for your own back if ,you let them fall asleep in your arms .They don't need me now to fall asleep with .

I found it rewarding for both of us and ,quite honestly ,I fell asleep alot easier knowing that we had that cuddle .Now they still cuddle but ,are all limbs and heavy .lol

I think you are doing a great job .

guiltyqueen

Its 9:35 and DD is asleep. She feel asleep in my arms while I rocked her after a big feed. I put a night light in her room till she went to sleep and played a Disney CD we bought her for Christmas.

I also sat with a bed sheet today as was metioned in a post.:T I have now put that sheet on her cot mattress.

I m now going to bed. Good night all and thank-you for all your support.:beer:

GQ.

Aoife's_mum

Deleted_User wrote:

Like now, he's had quite a long nap this morning (for him) and i've had to be limited to the lounge to give DF a lie in, so I can't get anything done to make the most of it. Yet tonight we are bound to be up past midnight trying to get him to sleep. We try not to let him have more than 2 hours of a day time nap, but having read here that an over tired baby in the evening will not sleep at night, I wonder if we are doing the right thing. I wonder if we should just let him sleep when and for how long he wants to without waking him up? Will he eventually right himself or do we need to encourage him by waking him?

What do others think? Although other days he doesn't nap that long in the day at all, its all very sporadic and very unpredictable including his feeding.

Hi Bailey - just wanted to reply to your query.

It's hard as all babies are different - my second (now 10 months) would quite easily have slept all day if we'd let him, but liked to play at 3am. I personally found both the baby whisperer and the gina ford book very useful, especially with my first as I really didn't have a clue. You don't have to follow them word for word, but take the general principles and any ideas you find useful, and modify them where necessary to suit you and your baby. For example, gina ford suggests that a 6-8 week baby should be having three naps and sleeping for a total of 3 1/2 hours a day (that's between 7am and 7pm). I would say that mine both slept more than that at that age, however, and sometimes had 4 naps. So might be that he is a bit overtired - they can really only go about 1 1/2 to 2 hours awake at that age.

Hope this helps - it is all a bit sporadic and unpredictable at this age, but does get much easier - honest!

roversbabe

guiltyqueen wrote:

Its 9:35 and DD is asleep. She feel asleep in my arms while I rocked her after a big feed. I put a night light in her room till she went to sleep and played a Disney CD we bought her for Christmas.

I also sat with a bed sheet today as was metioned in a post.:T I have now put that sheet on her cot mattress.

I m now going to bed. Good night all and thank-you for all your support.:beer:

GQ.

Good night GQ - hope you have a good nights sleep