Rubbish at this Mum thing......

Mics_chick

Please don't think you're a bad mum because you're not - you care about your baby but you'd like more sleep too.

I tried controlled crying with my dd (1st born) and it worked to get her to sleep during the day. But she was a better sleeper at night anyway but from 3wo I gave her a bottle of formula as her last feed and she slept very well after that. It takes a baby longer to digest formula if they are used to breast milk so most sleep better and for longer on 1 formula feed a day.

You're probably feeling even more guilty about it because of PND - I've been there too. But don't feel guilty about getting your dh to do something for the baby - he's a parent too. If you're breast-feeding he can't do that but get him to bath the baby or change it's nappies when he's around. He gets out of the house when he goes to work and has a break from things at home that you don't get. I do feel sorry for him too as it's most likely affecting his sleep as well but if he's there use him (single parents don't have this help ) and don't carry the whole burden on your own shoulders when you don't have too

Good luck with it MC


PS When I was talking to some mums when I had my first they said their babies were sleeping through the night. When I asked what times they slept from and till they said from midnight to 6am!! So don't always take what other mums say at face value cos they might mean something different to what you do... and if you'd have been speaking to those mums they'd say that you're baby was sleeping through the night too

kelloggs36

I rant cry-sis when my daughter would not stop crying and they told me to go to an osteopath who can carry out cranial osteopathy. It is extremely subtle and not cracking baby's neck as the name may suggest. I didn't take my daughter but have heard from others that it worked wonders!!

I used to leave my children to cry and it worked almost immediately! Clearly I didn't leave them for hours before going in just to reassure them I was still there. I ensured that they knew from birth the difference between night and day by putting them down in the dark, not talking to them whilst feeding or changing them and just putting them straight back to bed. At times it felt like they cried for ages, but if you can just hold on in there and ignore them - just check there is nothing really wrong - then they will learn. My son tried this and we left him and each night it took less and less time for him to go back off to sleep until about 5 days later when he awoke, whimpered and went back to sleep again! He is 3 now and only ever wakes when he needs to go to the toilet, then he gets up himself, goes to the loo and gets straight back to bed again.

Good luck

[Deleted User]

i'd worry about her suffocating on the tshirt in her cot too, why not sleep with one of her bed sheets for a few nights to get yr smell on it, then use it in her bed, same principle but safer?

hope yr feeling better. thanks for this post, i'd like my 7 wo DS to sleep more too.

[Deleted User]

kelloggs36 wrote:

I used to leave my children to cry and it worked almost immediately! Clearly I didn't leave them for hours before going in just to reassure them I was still there. I ensured that they knew from birth the difference between night and day by putting them down in the dark, not talking to them whilst feeding or changing them and just putting them straight back to bed. At times it felt like they cried for ages, but if you can just hold on in there and ignore them - just check there is nothing really wrong - then they will learn. My son tried this and we left him and each night it took less and less time for him to go back off to sleep until about 5 days later when he awoke, whimpered and went back to sleep again! He is 3 now and only ever wakes when he needs to go to the toilet, then he gets up himself, goes to the loo and gets straight back to bed again.

Good luck

you and yr son have it cracked, i wish i could leave my son to cry it out, but i'm not tough enough and i think he's too diddy. the other day i timed his bath wrong and he was hungry, he screamed himself horse in the 5-10 mins it took for me to dress him and get the bottle. I was in tears and distressed as i hate seeing him so distressed himself.

last night we couldn't work out what the crying was for. Our DS was having a mini melt down and in his Daddy's arms trying to be comforted, we couldn't
work out the problem. His crying made me cry so DF sent me away to stop me seeing him crying, as he couldn't deal with us both at the same time in case it set him off. What a family !!!

I hate seeing my son getting into such a tizzy, i feel helpless and want to be able to make it better. i know crying is their form of communication that something is wrong, but i can't take the prolonged/distressed/hysterical cry.

despite me making night time interaction boring, he still has his days and nights mixed up.

i'm definitely winging it and feel like i'm doing it all wrong too. your not alone sweetie.

guiltyqueen

Deleted_User wrote:

i'd worry about her suffocating on the tshirt in her cot too, why not sleep with one of her bed sheets for a few nights to get yr smell on it, then use it in her bed, same principle but safer?

hope yr feeling better. thanks for this post, i'd like my 7 wo DS to sleep more too.

Thats a super idea thanks.:T

guiltyqueen

dogrose wrote:

maybe he would like to help though...my husband used to do nearly all the bathing as I breast feed mine. it was one of the few things he could get involved in. It would be good bonding time for him too.

DH did the bathing last night.

DD rolled over yesterday evening!!! :j

Also just wanted to say a big thank you to everyone who has posted. Thank-you for all your comments. Your all :A

Dumyat

wow excellent...wait till the wee legs start going...then the fun starts!!
would recommend a play pen or a travel cot when she starts moving. means you can pop them somewhere safe when you are doing something. Hate to mention the "S" word but I used to pop them in to do the hoovering or something...would turn round and they were out cold!
did daddy enjoy doing the bathing? my husband used to love doing it. made him feel part of it all.

Rachie_B

guiltyqueen wrote:

DH did the bathing last night.

DD rolled over yesterday evening!!! :j
Also just wanted to say a big thank you to everyone who has posted. Thank-you for all your comments. Your all :A

awww :T :T

[Deleted User]

Dogrose, what's the 'S' word? Sling?? Sorry in my sleep deprived state I'm not getting the connection.

We are going to use DS's travel cot as a playpen when he is old enough, for now lying in his baby gym or in his bouncy chair is sufficient for him. And he ALWAYS goes to sleep when we don't want him too and never when we do!!

Like now, he's had quite a long nap this morning (for him) and i've had to be limited to the lounge to give DF a lie in, so I can't get anything done to make the most of it. Yet tonight we are bound to be up past midnight trying to get him to sleep. We try not to let him have more than 2 hours of a day time nap, but having read here that an over tired baby in the evening will not sleep at night, I wonder if we are doing the right thing. I wonder if we should just let him sleep when and for how long he wants to without waking him up? Will he eventually right himself or do we need to encourage him by waking him?

What do others think? Although other days he doesn't nap that long in the day at all, its all very sporadic and very unpredictable including his feeding.

Dumyat

sorry I meant S for sleep...

I used my travel cot a lot as a playpen. not to keep them in indefinitely but just for safety if I was cooking, hanging up washing, hoovering or ironing etc. meant they could play safely and still see what I was up to.
I let mine sleep as much as they wanted until they were toddlers. then I limited them to an afternoon nap. tried to stick to a routine as much as possible though. feeds more or less at the same times, bath at same time etc...