Friend's Wedding

balletshoes

Mojisola wrote: »

Recently, on another thread, a bride said that they gave their guests two years' notice of the wedding and the guests only had to save £40 a week for those two years in order to afford the trip. Anyone who couldn't be bothered to do that wasn't worth worrying about!

wow :eek::eek: - now theres a Bridezilla for you, yes?

balletshoes

dizsiebubba wrote: »

So you would all rather not be asked to a wedding if it was abroad?

if I had to pay to go? seriously, I'd prefer not to be invited.

balletshoes

dizsiebubba wrote: »

You are missing the point here.... im trying to illstrate to everybody on here who thinks it is outrageoud that the OP has been asked to go abroad for a wedding, that the bride and groom can never seem to get it right and please everyone.... basically so they stop their moaning about the OPs friend and just offer constructive advice...

you're absolutely right, you're never going to please everyone - no matter what kind of wedding you are planning. Aint it fun :rotfl:;)??

JBD

Personally if I had wanted to get married abroad I wouldn't have invited anyone. Some of my ex's relatives did this then had an big evening reception and party when they came home for family and friends. I have only attended one wedding abroad, this was due to the bride coming from that country which is obviously a different situation. One set of relatives is obviously going to have to travel.
I do think it's a shame to hear of so much resentment and bad feeling being triggered by weddings, it's supposed to be a happy day.

claire16c

burnoutbabe wrote: »

but you make it sound like just saying "no, i don't want to use my money in that way" means "you dont care about us". as you said its fine if you can't afford it (implying "you should come if you can afford it")

I could afford 1k to attend a wedding, but would i chose to if it was somewhere i didn't want to go anyway, and not a very close family member/best mate? probably not. But that doesn't mean one doesn't care about the person and wish them well, just that it isn't how they would chose to spend that money.

At least if you are totally broke you can give a good excuse, else you just sound petty if you say sorry i don't want to come. Which is where it gets very awkward.

We didnt ask anyone to come who wasnt a family member or friend anyway, which was one of the best things about getting married abroad - you dont have to invite all and sundry and have massive arguments about who can come like I see so many people here having. And most of them came anyway. The ones who couldnt, either couldnt afford it or for a couple of other reasons, fine. We weren't offended. We actually had one person try to invite herself who we did not want coming, she asked outright if she could come!

And unless you tell everyone you know your indepth finances you could easily tell them a white lie that you couldnt afford it (its not like the bride and groom will be inspecting your bank balance to check), or the truth and that you had already booked/or made plans that year to do something else.

I dont see whats so awkward about it. I would find it much easier to say no to a wedding abroad than one in the UK which could still be miles away and still cost a lot of money to go to - as demonstrated by other posts on here.

neverdespairgirl

Lotus-eater wrote: »

I don't like being asked to spend alot of money on someone else's wedding. I wouldn't put someone else in that situation, because I think it's rude and selfish.

Clear enough?

I don't think it's rude to ask, it's only rude to expect.

neverdespairgirl

I've only been to one wedding abroad - this July, OH was best man, and his mate was marrying a Turkish girl, so the wedding was in Istanbul.

I think some of the people on this thread are paying out crazy amounts - I've never been on one £500 hen do, let alone lots of them! And if you're forking out £100 regularly for hire, it would be a good idea to buy a morning suit, save you a fortune!

I've never given, and would never give, money as a wedding present anyway. Seems a bit of an odd idea to me.

OH and I have been to 5 weddings in the last year. Obviously we stayed in a hotel for one of them (in Istanbul) but didn't for any of the others. For 3 of them, we came home afterwards, and for the fourth, we stayed with my godparents.

As for "child free weddings", that's a seriously weird idea, and I just wouldn't go to one. Weddings should be about family and friends, and that includes infants.

Torry_Quine

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

I've only been to one wedding abroad - this July, OH was best man, and his mate was marrying a Turkish girl, so the wedding was in Istanbul.

I think some of the people on this thread are paying out crazy amounts - I've never been on one £500 hen do, let alone lots of them! And if you're forking out £100 regularly for hire, it would be a good idea to buy a morning suit, save you a fortune!

I've never given, and would never give, money as a wedding present anyway. Seems a bit of an odd idea to me.

OH and I have been to 5 weddings in the last year. Obviously we stayed in a hotel for one of them (in Istanbul) but didn't for any of the others. For 3 of them, we came home afterwards, and for the fourth, we stayed with my godparents.

As for "child free weddings", that's a seriously weird idea, and I just wouldn't go to one. Weddings should be about family and friends, and that includes infants.

You've put into words just what I've been feeling, thanks again.