Friend's Wedding

buttercups_2

Hello, I am invited to my friend's wedding but it is abroad and my other half and I can't afford to go. It'll cost about £500 each... we haven't got £1000. How do I tell them we can't go? My other half wants to go but I know we can't afford it, let alone the travel insurance. Help!!!

Mojisola

Just be upfront about it - I'd love to come but we can't afford it. It's unlikely that you'll be the only one who has to refuse the invite.

Anyone who arranges a wedding abroad has to be aware that some of their family and friends will not be able to afford the trip.

supermezzo

Just be honest and tell them that much as you'd like to go and support them, you can't afford it. Unless you hang out with millionaires, then there will be others who say the same thing to them I suspect.

Sambucus_Nigra

Hi Friend. Thanks for the invite. I'm gutted that we can't go, as we just haven't got the cash. Sorry.

dizziblonde

"We can't go, we just haven't got the money at the moment to go - we hope you have an absolutely wonderful time and we'll get together when you get back and coo over all of the photos"

Some relatives who couldn't make it to our wedding actually sent a telegram to us to surprise us at the reception - a possible idea?

BitterAndTwisted

Anyone who chooses to get married abroad and expects every single invitee to want to go, never mind be able to afford it, is living in a dream-world.

I would politely decline and not give a reason. Giving a reason often opens up the possibility of the other party to try and persuade you to change your mind, so don't. There's no shame in not having a spare grand or not being willing to spend that sort of money on someone else's "big day". I wouldn't feel obliged to go nor would I feel guilty about not being able to.

jakes-mum

agree be honest, just say as much as you would love to, you really cant afford to go, but will be thinking of them on their special day. I had to do this with my sisters wedding (canada) and on the day I faxed them a picture my son had drawn with a message to enjoy their day, to their hotel.

Lotus-eater

I really dislike this idea of getting married abroad and expecting your friends to pay for themselves. Totally selfish.

A close relative of mine tried it, we just said we weren't going straight away, I'm not having someone else deciding where I take my holidays and making me pay for it!

puddy

even these hen parties which take place in hotels, or weekends away i think are totally selfish and inconsiderate. we all know that people feel obliged to go to things like this to support their friends and the financial stress it puts on people is not fair

rachbc

I'm just say thanks for the invite but sorry you can't make it.

I suspect most people who get married abroad do it precisely so lots of people can't make it!

dizsiebubba

Lotus-eater wrote: »

I really dislike this idea of getting married abroad and expecting your friends to pay for themselves. Totally selfish.

A close relative of mine tried it, we just said we weren't going straight away, I'm not having someone else deciding where I take my holidays and making me pay for it!

It's an invite... not an order!!!

OP is it not possible to pay in instalments and then perhaps you could afford it by the time you go? This is what we done for our friends wedding! Some guests even stayed in a cheaper hotel up the road, could you do this? Obviously, if part of you doesn't want to go then this is not an option?