Friend's Wedding

Luckyred

begyourpardon wrote: »

I agree I don't think you are expected to attend and if your friend doesn't understand your position then she's not worth knowing.

I think it's all got a bit out of hand - stag/ hen do's and weddings abroad. it should be about sharing a special day with the people you are closest to, and not trying to bankrupt your friends and family!

Yes that's the way of it for a lot of couples (not all thankfully).
Bridesmaids expected to pay for their dress etc :eek: Best man, ushers etc being asked to pay for the hire of their wedding suits.
Donations of money to help pay for honeymoons.
Even guests being asked to wear a particular colour!!!
In rare circumstances guests being asked to pay for their own meal.....I have seen this on the wedding forum!!!

Call me old fashioned but none of this sits right with me.
If the expense of a wedding is too much then whats wrong with having a small wedding or saving up longer for a lavish affair. Either way it will still achieve the desired result .... marriage! Surely thats the most important thing.
As for expecting people to pay large sums of money to attend a wedding abroad.... words fail me. Its selfish IMO.

OP, I would just thank them for the invite and say regretfully you wont be able attend. You are not obliged to give a reason.

zagfles

newcook wrote: »

sorry - cross posts! just edited mine to add: Some have it abroad purely in the hope that those who they feel obliged to invite wont be able to go!!

Risky tactic - you could end up with all the people you didn't want, while the people you did want couldn't afford it! :eek:

puddy

Mojisola wrote: »

Recently, on another thread, a bride said that they gave their guests two years' notice of the wedding and the guests only had to save £40 a week for those two years in order to afford the trip. Anyone who couldn't be bothered to do that wasn't worth worrying about!

only 40 a week, thats 160 a month, or do you mean 40 a month? 40 a month out of our budget would mean something else being compromised, something that is necessary as we have no luxuries.

so thats us that dont care i suppose

Lotus-eater

puddy wrote: »

only 40 a week, thats 160 a month, or do you mean 40 a month? 40 a month out of our budget would mean something else being compromised, something that is necessary as we have no luxuries.

so thats us that dont care i suppose

I think there was some sarcasm going on

ONLY £40 a week

If someone said that to me, I would be one friend less.

puddy

Lotus-eater wrote: »

I think there was some sarcasm going on

ONLY £40 a week

If someone said that to me, I would be one friend less.

sorry, i think im in a bad mood today!

Lotus-eater

Errata wrote: »

Tough, as far as I'm concerned There'll be plenty of people there with doggy bags and they'll make a saving through not having to keep me plied with copious amounts of gin.

I agree with LIR's tbh, that's a pretty unfair attitude to take IMO.

Lotus-eater

I must admit, if I wanted to get married abroad I would pay for whoever I wanted to be there, I wouldn't feel right asking anyone to pay for themselves to come.
I feel guilty just thinking about it.

A difference would be if someone had to get married in another country, a friend of mine married someone from europe somewhere and got married over there, we were invited and I think it's fine to be asked then. We didn't go, but understood the reasons they had to get married over there.

poppy_f1

personally i hope to get married abroad, purely as i dont want a massive wedding so the less guests the better
in fact no one will prob get invited (my mums been warned for years that i would do this and shes ok with not being there as she understands my own reasons for it)
but in the off chance i get married in this country it will be a very small ceremony and no reception just a meal




however speaking to a friend of mine last night whos gf's brother announced they were getting married abroad, and the cost for them to attend for a 2 week holiday was 5k

!!!!!! paying that....i jokingly said get married out there at the same time to !!!! them off

dizsiebubba

So you would all rather not be asked to a wedding if it was abroad?

lostinrates

dizsiebubba wrote: »

So you would all rather not be asked to a wedding if it was abroad?

we were glad and flattered to be asked, but felt guilty when reasked.