Would you be happy with 1 child?

mummyplus3

I think people are being abit unfair, it's just as insensitive to people who want to have more than one child to be criticised by people that are infertile and make them feel guilty for wanting another baby.

People want children for all sorts of reasons but aslong as the child/ren are loved well provided for and happy does it really matter what the reason is?

I am fortunate that being "infertile" I've had mine at all let alone so close together, but before that I had to grieve for the children I never thought I'd have, but I certianly didn't go out of my way to make people that could feel bad!

red_devil

I have 2 siblings but i might as well not have. We are not close and barely speak. Thats the way it is sadly would loved it to be different but its not.

My Parents might think its good now that they have 3 children visiting etc but from my pov i dont get any benefit from siblings.

My partner also has siblings and they are as different as chalk and cheese, they are monied and like drinking and golf etc they dont have family values the same and you wouldnt think my partner and his siblings were from the same family. We dont see them now after lots of difficulties and differences so really as adults we can say that having adult siblings has basically been a major pain in the bum.

Our parents might have benefitted (sp) but we havent lately.

pinkmami

We have 3 and I could never settle for one, nor would DH. I have a younger sibling by 3.5 yrs so I had someone to argue with when I was younger! DH has an older brother - by 15 yrs! So by the time DH was growing up his brother moved away to Uni then London & he was left to be brought up by his mum who had him at 40 (I mean a very old 40yr old) & his aunt who was even older. His dad worked in the navy so was never home. DH was very lonely & found it hard to mix at school etc cos of the way he was brought up. He's always said his mum was very old fashioned. Whether she'd been 25 having him she was old!

So hence why we had 3.DH loves the madness of the house & the chaos & the fact they kids always had someone to play with (and argue!)

He would have gone on to have another 1 or 2 but I put a stop to it. You have to stop somewhere & going pass 3 wil be very very expensive!

red_devil

Mysterious1 wrote: »

they wont have anyone

misty x

they might not have anyone even if they had children.

They might live on the other side of the world or they may not even speak who knows?

jakes-mum

sorry havent read any further than the first page but to OP, I had my son in 2001 and was more than happy with one child, had no interest in another (mainly because I had a horrid pregnancy and birth) everyone kept saying 'when are you having another? he cant be an only child'. Absolutely no interest, yes he could be an only child, until the day he started to ask me when I was going to have another baby. When he was 5 I finally asked him why he wanted a sibling to which he said 'because I dont want to be alone anymore'.
That was one reason I couldnt argue with he is now 10 and his sister is 3. I love her to bits, her pregnancy and birth were much better than his and am really glad I changed my mind. He is much happier even with the big age gap and very protective of her. Im not saying that all only children will be lonely, but that was the reason for our second one

marywooyeah

dizziblonde wrote: »

And since when did we let children dictate the bonking habits of adults anyway? That's just such a ludicrous thought to me.

well when they're sleeping in your bed every night that tends to happen! :rotfl:

marywooyeah

Mysterious1 wrote: »

they wont have anyone

misty x

take her with a pinch of salt, she has a habit of writing nasty/snide comments then putting a kiss afterwards.

Icey77

My Mum was an only child and had two children, myself and my younger sister.

She has always said she hated being an only child and always felt the full weight of her parents expectations and attention. Now that my Grandfather has died my Grandmother seems to feel that my Mum bears responsibilty to keep her happy and occupied despite living 200 miles away and widowed herself only 6 months after my Grandmother.

She always wanted to share things like Christmas, Easter etc etc with a sibling rather than it be expected that she put up and cater for her parents every holiday or family occasion. She also felt that she didn't have anyone to whinge to about it all either.

My sister and I get on very well (now), we used to fight like cat and dog. There is only 16 months between us so we are very close in age and have similar outlooks on most subjects.

We tend to be able to share the responsbility of our Mum - seeing her regularly and to a certain extent keeping her involved but not too involved in our lives since our Dad died. I really love having my sister and now that I am pregnant with my first I and my DH (who is an only child) plan on having two kids.

Obviously fingers crossed all will go to plan but if it didn't and we onyl had Elvis (our pet name for half baked baby) we would ahve to be content with that but it probably wouldn't stop the desire for another.

Apologies for the ramble!

andrealm

I'm an only child and never liked it, so I always wanted to have at least 2 children. I'd have been very disappointed if I hadn't been able to have a second child or if my dh hadn't wanted another. I'm very glad I have 2, they fight sometimes but they are really close and they have so much fun together. Hopefully they will still be close when they're grown up. I do envy people who have a brother or sister who they have a good relationship with, I know not everybody gets on with theirs.

Op, it must be very hard for you if you want another child and your OH doesn't, hope he changes his mind.

flora48

I am an only child and I used to yearn for a brother or sister throughout my childhood. I had a very comfortable upbringing, my dad used to do so much with me and I had cousins with whom I spent time with on a daily basis but I still wanted a sibling. Holidays away were the worst time for feeling lonely. As an adult I envy those people who have a close relationship with a sibling. The worst time of all was having to deal with the illnesss and loss of my parents. Nobody else who feels the same as you, and no one to help the clear the family home. Yes I had support from my husband and children but the decisions were mine alone. Me, I had 2 children with a 2 year gap and althought they are not particulaly close they do have eachother in a crisis, of which we have had plenty in recent years.
Just my two pennorth to this thread.