Would you be happy with 1 child?

shellsuit

I was an only child and most of the time, hated that fact, so I swore I wouldn't have an only child.

I had my son, then my daughter less than 2 years later. They're 15 and 13 now.

9 years ago I met my now husband and we had our own little boy in 2009.

We won't be having anymore, but I do wonder now, as the little man gets older, whether he will miss out having a sibling closer in age.

dizziblonde

Mysterious1 wrote: »

they wont have anyone

misty x

Neither will I - thanks for reminding me. I'll go about my day yet more terrified of being alone, abused, cold and hungry now.

Thank you for your insight. Thank you on behalf of all the involuntarily childless for whom this thought is a very very acute point of awareness. Suppose we should go and rot so as not to clutter up the world for the reproductively capable and not expect the system we've paid into to help us too?

And now, Jewel, is the point where I get off the thread as it's just got upsetting and unpleasant. Been a pleasure talking to you.

heretolearn_2

esmerelda's is the weirdest reason I've ever heard for having more than one!

Anyway OP, big age gaps make things difficult for the parents and the children, so you both need to make your minds up and either go for it, or don't.

I will say, though, that if you are prone to getting broody, you may just keep on getting those feelings and another one won't change that. Have another baby now and you might be back in the same situation again 5 years later, so you have to learn to deal with those feelings. OR be like my sister who now has 6 kids because every time one 'grew up' and went to school, she got massively broody and had another one.

Mysterious1

dizziblonde wrote: »

Neither will I - thanks for reminding me. I'll go about my day yet more terrified of being alone, abused, cold and hungry now.

Thank you for your insight. Thank you on behalf of all the involuntarily childless for whom this thought is a very very acute point of awareness. Suppose we should go and rot so as not to clutter up the world for the reproductively capable and not expect the system we've paid into to help us too?

And now, Jewel, is the point where I get off the thread as it's just got upsetting and unpleasant. Been a pleasure talking to you.

blimey what can i say

misty x

manda1205

Sorry if Im going to sound bitter and misserable but I just think you should be happy with what you've got. There are many people who dont even have the choice of children at all, you have one. You do really need to emphasise how much this means to you to your husband but ultimately if he doesnt want any more you cant force him.
I have one daughter aged 6, she constantly asks for a brother of sister and last year we decided we would, but I've now had 3 miscarriages and have decided I cant keep doing it. So now I feel I have no choice but to have one child. So from my experience I would say to waste no time and try right away, but as I said you cannot force your husband into something he doesnt want either.
Sorry not much advice really, just that we should all be grateful for what we do have and learn to put our wants to one side sometimes.

Tygermoth

Same scenario but the other way round. My good friend had her daughter (12 yrs) and was very happy with just the one as was agreed/discussed when they got married.

Husband wanted another (secretly I think he wanted the all important Son) He badgered her until she relented but laid some child care rules down such as night feeds etc to which he agreed.

First scan, twins. Husband suddenly had the collywobbles and had to leave to get his 'head straight' as he couldn't cope with the extra responsibly and financial implications being an 'older' dad with suddenly three children. He promptly crashed headlong into a midlife crisis.

He promptly left her after she refused to abort and she now has three children and is a struggling single mother.

(ps he accidentally knocked up his new girlfriend…. yep, twins too lol) 1 to 5 in very short order.

esmerelda98

I regret posting my honest thoughts on this thread and, thanks to balletshoes cooperation, I have now deleted them. I've also deleted most of this post as I don't tend to post personal stuff on here, but felt compelled to in the circumstances. Apologies to those who took the trouble to identify with an unpopular viewpoint.

Of course one would be better than none at all, I think many posters are actually responding to a thread entitled, 'Would you stop at one child'.

euronorris

Mysterious1 wrote: »

blimey what can i say

misty x

Sorry for being so thoughtless.

That would be a start.

esmerelda98

Mysterious1 wrote: »

they wont have anyone

misty x

Was that necessary?

Person_one

heretolearn wrote: »

esmerelda's is the weirdest reason I've ever heard for having more than one!

That's a bit harsh.

It might not be something most people think of, but it makes sense when you do. Lots of parents who lose one child will admit that they only thing that got them through it was the surviving children who still needed them.

Parent of one child loses that child, total devastation, grief stricken, feels they can't go on. Possibly doesn't go on.

Parent of two children loses one child, total devastation, grief stricken, feels they can't go on, until they see that second little face, also going through it and needing you. Most will go on.

One of the reasons I'm not having any children is because I don't want to take the risk of loving them with every atom of your soul and then losing them.