Would you be happy with 1 child?

penelopedee_2

In answer to the original question, yes I would be happy with 1 child. I would be over the moon

Spendless

I knew I would prefer more than 1 and was lucky enough to get my choice. I do think as a society we can tend to focus on what we don't have rather than what we do have so if for any reason we hadn't had child #2, I very much hope I would have been happy with just 1. For your OH things are going as you loosely agreed, you've had 1 child, who is now at f-time school and he's looking to the future of you increasing your work hours which will give you more household income and with a child getting older, things opening up to you which you may have not been able to do before. For you that might sound 'scary' someone on here once told me that when it feels 'scarier' to go forward people look to go back and I think that's true. I have lost count of the amount of women I have seen have another child once one goes to nursery/reception.

meritaten

did you discuss how many children you wanted before you got married? not many people specify one!

dandy-candy

I think the most important thing here is that your DD has said she'd like a sibling. Have you told your other half that? How ever much he wants a new car he'd be pretty harsh to dig in his heels when both you and her want a new addition to the family! Personally I have 3 kids, 2 of whom were unplanned but every baby is an absolute joy in my book.

mountainofdebt

dandy-candy wrote: »

I think the most important thing here is that your DD has said she'd like a sibling. Have you told your other half that? How ever much he wants a new car he'd be pretty harsh to dig in his heels when both you and her want a new addition to the family! Personally I have 3 kids, 2 of whom were unplanned but every baby is an absolute joy in my book.

Sorry but for me what the daughter wants doesn't come into the equation.

Also I don't see how having 2 children can be a compromise when the OP's OH has said he doesn't want anymore children.

mrcow

dandy-candy wrote: »

I think the most important thing here is that your DD has said she'd like a sibling.

My daughter tells me every day that she wants a puppy.
She's not getting one though

sarahevie

Once I had my daughter, I really wanted another child in a way that I wasn't expecting. I suppose I had always imagined two children but with a 3/4 year age gap. There's 20 months between my girls.

Now my youngest is one I would like another but OH isn't as keen. He is one of four although the eldest two are 18/20 years older than him. He was a happy accident, then they didn't want him to be an 'only' child so he has a sister who is 2 years younger. He classes himself as having one sibling really, I have one sister who is 3 years younger. He sees this as 'our' norm. Two children.

I haven't given up on having another but I am also happy with the two that I've got. I think if I only had one then I definitely wouldn't have been happy to stick at one though.

Jewel_2

I absolutely know no-one is having a go on here and everyone is genuine, but I find this kind of thread really uncomfortable.

I think those who have been trying to conceive and have miscarried or lost their babies, or it just hasn;'t happened, have been very kind to others here.

Babies aren't like biscuits. You don't just choose whether to have one, two or three. Just because you have two doesn't mean if you lose one you would feel less grief, and just because you only have one doesn't mean they're not going to be close to other people.

People have relationships with all kinds of others, blood or not. Its no good churning out loads of kids so that they will be close, because they probably won't.

Every single baby on this planet is a blessing and a miracle. Please don't talk about having babies the same way as choosing how many toppings to have on your pizza.

swimsink

I'm not sure - I have a daughter aged 2 & 3 months whom I fell pregnant with a month after leaving school. My relationship with her father was not a good one, he is many years older than me and although we were together a couple of years it was a troubled relationship and he was not kind to me to save you the details! I broke up with him a month before my daughter was born after he hadn't supported me through a very traumatic pregnancy which resulted in me being in hospital 3 days one week, 4 days next alternatively for monitoring etc.
My daughter is now two and he has been in and out of her life and isn't really interested. He is now taking me through court for access however the court has said due to his violent/self harming/drug using past he should not be allowed unsupervised contact therefore we are waiting for a place at a contact centre. (Waiting since March now.)
He pays a reasonable amount of child maintenance, although not voluntarily.
I have brought my daughter up entirely alone with no support for her whole life. I wouldn't change her for the world but I have missed out on so much of my young life and there is a lot of things that I may never achieve in my life now.
I'm scared should i settle down in years to come and have another child i will be left alone with that one also. And I also worry that if i wait until i'm in my late twenties, i will have a dependant child until i'm a lot older (i will be 34 when DD is 18!) and still won't have any freedom to travel, etc.
There is also the yearning for my little girl to grow up with a sibling.
So in answer to your question I don't know if one is enough. Time will tell but my life experiences have made it difficult to answer! Sorry for ranting

mummyplus3

mine were complete surprises, I am "infertile"...

I was happy at the time with just the one but when we found out about number 2 we were happy too, OH wants more in the future but I hate being pregnant and giving birth so I am happy with my two.

Have a really good talk with him about it and I guess you need to weigh up whether your want for another baby outweighs the want to be with your oh xx