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his wedding, my son is barely invited.
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Oh their was also something mentioned abt taking train to collect son, the hotel is no where near the train station, I don't even know where the hotel is, I do know the general area, but that is same as me saying I know where Manchester is, but it is a big area, I am guestimating at a 60 mile round trip, it could be easy to find or it could be hard. It is on a private estate, from what he has said, nothing for miles.
But it would still be much easier for another guest to drop your son to you at the station (at 7pm) than for them to drive all the way to your house.
Sorry, OP, but you seem to have an excuse why you can't do anything other than what you want to do, what will you do for childcare if and when you decide not to send your son at all?Make £25 a day in April £0/£750 (March £584, February £602, January £883.66)
December £361.54, November £322.28, October £288.52, September £374.30, August £223.95, July £71.45, June £251.22, May£119.33, April £236.24, March £106.74, Feb £40.99, Jan £98.54) Total for 2017 - £2,495.100 -
No, the real point is, they are all from my womb. (Have you been on the sherry or something?)
In the OP's scenario she is comparing the child from her womb with a child from another woman's womb (who just happens to be the bride - a signifcant factor, I believe!). So, perhaps your question should have read: "Which child is your favourite, yours or another woman's?"; the answer is a no-brainer!
They are from the father, that is the point. At 35 I'm not a sherry drinker, but you carry on dear.If you're going to stalk me, while you're at it can you cut the grass, feed the dog & make sure I've got bread & milk in
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Further back to this, Zoe's point was (bold is mine):
To which I replied:
Zoe believes that is "sh!te" and "decent" parents "don't do that". Her point isn't proven simply because I don't have any favourites amongst my five!
The father may well have two sons, but it is relevant that he is marrying the mother of one of them
Hopefully someone will come along with the ability to translate this into common sense...oh wait..it's not whichever waffle you use.If you're going to stalk me, while you're at it can you cut the grass, feed the dog & make sure I've got bread & milk in0 -
Further back to this, Zoe's point was (bold is mine):
To which I replied:
Zoe believes that is "sh!te" and "decent" parents "don't do that". Her point isn't proven simply because I don't have any favourites amongst my five!
The father may well have two sons, but it is relevant that he is marrying the mother of one of them
But that is proving my point........??If you're going to stalk me, while you're at it can you cut the grass, feed the dog & make sure I've got bread & milk in0 -
It is always difficult to be objective on these threads as we only hear "one side of the story".
However, I feel that in your opening line of your original post you refer to the father of your child as "My sons sperm donor" is somewhat indiciative of your relationship with this person and your attitude towards them.
My sympathies go to the child whose parents are involved in petty arguments and point scoring.0 -
OP - I would really try to juggle things so that you can pick your little boy up from the wedding, and put yourself out to make sure he can go, I know it's difficult but you'd be doing the right thing.
And I am so pleased he has a little kilt to wear too!If you're going to stalk me, while you're at it can you cut the grass, feed the dog & make sure I've got bread & milk in0 -
OP - you are damned if you do and damned if you don't so you're going to have to make the best of it.
I can see it now:
a) you don't pull out all the stops to get your son to his father's wedding and you're a 'bad mother' who hasn't 'moved on' and is trying to cause problems with contact
b) you pull a sickie to do the 'right thing' by your son and you risk losing your job. You post on here for advice and get slated because you were irresponsible and why on earth wasn't the child's father making arrangements for him to attend his wedding? And whilst you're at it, you'll be a benefit scrounging single mum who is expecting the tax payer to pay for your child rearing.
c) you get thrown off your university course 'cos you couldn't catch up leaving you with fee and living cost related debts which ensures your own dreams are never realised leaving you frustrated and angry and your son living in poverty 'cos you never get a job above minimum wage. You are equally labelled 'benefit scrounger' 'cos you haven't even tried to better yourself when clearly you had the potential...
d) you run the risk of your son being angry that he didn't get to participate in his father's wedding, leaving yourself wide open to dad being able to call you names, bad mouth you generally and end up in a situation where your son rejects you entirely.
e) you run the risk of your son being angry that he was 'forced' to go to a wedding 'in his best interests' where he was clearly second best (at best) and where he is dressed differently to his half-brother and, in a worst case scenario, absent from some photos entirely because no one is taking 'ownership' of him on the big day.
f) any number of other scenarios, good and bad, could also arise from this scenario, probably ones we couldn't possibly think up now but which, in 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 years, 12 years, 20 years...will clearly be as a result of attending/not attending this wedding!
Life of a single parent! What fun!
It has taken me a while to get to this point but I have realised that all I can do is act in as reasonable a way I can given the facts as I have them in front of me. I can consult with people I know are reasonable (rather than ones who will just tell me what I want to hear) and get their advice and I can back my actions up with texts, emails, cards, letters.... Later, if challenged, I can look back at my 'evidence' and decide that I made the right decision at the time as well as recognise that perhaps I made a decision which was emotional, or the right decision for me rather than the children. I can apologise when/if that ever happens. What I can't do is take responsibility for my ex's actions, thoughts, feelings, emotions and how he interacts (or not) with our children. He's on his own with that!0 -
The sperm donor has had time to organise childcare as he knew the wedding was coming up and knew he would be dropping the child off early. its such a shame to see so many posters demonising the mother because she works and tries to better herself. Maybe the father should have put more thought in to rearing his first child before having more.mortgage free by christmas 2014 owed £5,000, jan 2014 £4,170, £4,060, feb £3,818 march £3,399 30% of the way there woohoo
If you don't think you can go on look back and see how far you've come0 -
Oh and yes I would refuse to send my child, no way in hell would I turn up to pick them up from a party full of ex and partners family I like being able to walk away without a good hiding. But that is another issue and my children who are much older would never want to go anyway.mortgage free by christmas 2014 owed £5,000, jan 2014 £4,170, £4,060, feb £3,818 march £3,399 30% of the way there woohoo
If you don't think you can go on look back and see how far you've come0 -
the father didnt want to drop the child off early, it was planned for 7pm. it was mother that said 7pm wasnt appropriate so dad changed it to 3pm so that mother was only 10 mins away and could get there easier
what sort of life do you lead that would result in you 'getting a good hiding' because you would pick your child up from your ex's family?
i dread to think0
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