How to sack a bridesmaid?

regularsaver1

I paid half of my dress cost when i was bridesmaid to a friend

LouBlue

mh1923 wrote:

She's been a bridesmaid 8 times? Good grief!

And never be a sodding bride, I'll wager.

WHAT HAPPENED? ARE YOU STILL MARRIED? DID YOU KILL BM AND BURY HER UNDER THE PATIO??

I have a vivid imagination.

justmarried06

When I got married I felt that as I had asked the girls to be my BM's then I had to pay for their dress. However, they had both offered to pay for them too - I went for black dresses for them too so they can use them again. In then end they covered everything else other than the dress and I also paid for their room at the hotel the night before as we were all staying in a suite together. I totally understand the position you're in but don't really have any other advice for you than whats already been said. I think you need to be completely honest with her - are there other options you could put forward for her playing a part in your day, such as could she do a reading or something?

HTH JM xx

bluekp

Oh No - just read this whole thread and can't believe there's no conclusion yet!!!

I'm getting married in June and fortunately don't have this problem, but am feeling the stress of preparation already so I completely empathise with sportbeth!!

How about finding out if she has any big holidays booked and "accidentally" booking your wedding for the same time?! If she's as selfish as she sounds there's no way she'll cancel her hols :j

waterlilyann

I got married in Feb and had a similar experience. I don't want to bore you with details but in a nutshell I ask my friend (well, she pressured me into it), I then moved away and we NEVER saw each other and i was always the one to contact her. She never asked about wedding/how could she help etc. I bought her her dress (£150 from Monsoon) and thought it only fair she buys her shoes. I found a pair (which did fit her BTW) and she decided she didn't want them and bought the most vile shoes out of what i felt was spite.

All in all, with not seeing her and her being completly disinterested with the wedding and then buying the most godawful shoes I sacked her!!!! By email!!!!! :T

hehehe! Best decision I made regarding my wedding. My best friend was my maid of honour and that was all I needed. She was the epitome of what a friend and bridesmaid should be. Do not settle for less than you deserve. It's your day - do what you want to do.

I ummed and ahhed for ages what to do, just like you and also how to do it but in the end I felt that she hadn't bothered to do anything for me and so I was not going to let it ruin the most special day of my life. I just told her that as we never saw each other I found it hard because I felt that tradition dictates that a bridesmaid should be involved with every aspect.

She emailed back saying she wasn't bothered - lovely girl, so she didn't end up coming to the wedding.

She doesn't sound like a proper friend and she hasn't been treating you well so don't feel bad about being honest - you'll never see her again but is that such a big loss???!!

Good luck and let us know what you do!!!!:D

ceebeeby

If I was the friend, I'd feel let down that whatever you felt you could say on here you couldn't say to me direct. Maybe her behaviour's been questionable, but have you actually let her know you have financial pressures (maybe she only see's the nice things you have, and doesn't understand the expenses etc.).

I think one phone call from you (you owe her that - you did ask her after all) to 'discuss' all aspects. It'll make you or break you, but either way you'll both win in the end for the right reasons.

Best of luck xx

chrispyphillips

sportbeth wrote:

Funny that - my parents have just come back from a luxury cruise at Christmas. If my parents were skint I would be happy but they're not. They go for meals at £100 a head and book three holidays a year.

Sportbeth, if it doesnt work out between you two, can 'I' marry you

Lillibet_2

Sportbeth, any chance of an update pleaseeeeee!??!

victory

Lillibet wrote:

Sportbeth, any chance of an update pleaseeeeee!??!

yes come on we are waiting:j

welshcakes

Sportbeth cannot come to the forum right now as she is busy running up a hideous crimpoline and spandex bridesmaid dress?