How to sack a bridesmaid?

Snaggles

If you think an email may be too impersonal, but are finding it difficult to tell her to her face, a hand-written letter might be an option. I know some people might think this is the cowards way out, but you could cover this in the letter 'I hope you don't feel I am being cowardly telling you in this way, but I feel terrible about telling you this, when you have been a good friend to me over the years. I hope it wont impact on our friendship, and I will give you a ring in a few days'. That way, you are not completely burning your bridges with her. Personally, if someone had to tell me something like this, I would rather get a letter than watch a friend squirm, blush, feel awkward etc whilst they are giving me the bad news.

suekjw

However you choose to do it, you are best to get it done asap. You're not doing either of you any good just leaving it. Good luck.

hjb123

I would just tell her that you are paying for the entire day without any contribution from your parents and say that you have cut right back and are just sticking to your brothers family for the bridesmaid, page boy etc then it cuts costs - by 'brothers family' it could also include your SIL - not that your friend would think that! Its just how she interprets it!

Hope you manage to sort it, must be a sticky situation to be in

hjb123

I would probably spill it out to her in an email - and say that you were feeling worried and guilty about how she would take it and would speak to her about it sometime?

andyrules

Why not tell her the truth, but miss out how you feel about her to save any nastiness? You were under the impression that your parents would be contributing, but you've just discovered that's not the case so you are having to make drastic cuts. You could say sil is providing her own dress and is being a tower of strength as MoH. Say you'd love her to come as a guest... if she doesn't accept that then you've done your best and you shouldn't feel guilty or having anything to repimand yourself for. Then start to enjoy your preparations for the day - it is YOUR day and you can arrange it as you like!!

Not sure if you should phone or email - at least you'd keep track of what is said by email.

Then go and have a large drink:beer:

Best of luck

andyrules

Why not tell her the truth, but miss out how you feel about her to save any nastiness? You were under the impression that your parents would be contributing, but you've just discovered that's not the case so you are having to make drastic cuts. You could say sil is providing her own dress and is being a tower of strength as MoH. Say you'd love her to come as a guest... if she doesn't accept that then you've done your best and you shouldn't feel guilty or have anything to repimand yourself for. Then start to enjoy your preparations for the day - it is YOUR day and you can arrange it as you like!!

Not sure if you should phone or email - at least you'd keep track of what is said by email.

Then go and have a large drink:beer:

Best of luck

andyrules

oops, don't know what I did there!

sportbeth

welshcakes wrote:

why not say that in light of recently discovering that your parents not in a position to contribute (say they've booked themselves cruise or something so it doesn't sound like their being tight or have money problems), that you've had to completely rethink the whole thing and YOU'RE disappointed that it has forced a lot of cutbacks..... nice polite, believable lead into it and tbh, not lying so you can sleep at night

Funny that - my parents have just come back from a luxury cruise at Christmas. If my parents were skint I would be happy but they're not. They go for meals at £100 a head and book three holidays a year.

Anyway, cheers for all the support guys. Think I will compose something tonight and post it back on here tomorrow.

cupid_s

I get annoyed when some of my friends seem to sponge slightly off other people or take the p*ss with ordering food/drinks.
They sometimes use the excuse 'they can afford it they haven't got a mortgage' or 'they earn so much more than I do'.
I don't necessarily think it makes them horrible people just a bit either selfish or ignorant and I put them in their place as nicely as possible. They are still really good friends of mine.

You should have an honest discussion with your friend about her behaviour. And explain (almost) exactly what you've put here. She might honestly think you are loaded and don't mind paying this - otherwise you'd have said something before now.... right? And I know this is no excuse for her but she probably doesn't realise.

Say you're on a strict budget etc etc and you can't pay for absolutely everything. If she is a good for nothing freeloader then you'll probably see the back of her. But she might just feel really bad about what she's been doing, offer to pay for some stuff herself and you'll get back your old friend and everything would be ok.....?

Sarahjovi

However you let her down, don't beat around the bush, trying to be nice about it! Just tell her how it is that your have re-considered and that you don't want her to be bridesmaid anymore! You don't need to give her lots of waffle about the costs and excuses etc., If she was such a good friend you wouldn't have reconsidered in the first place!

Its a shame, but your beating yourself up about this and her feelings. Making yourself feel bad. You will feel so much better when you have told her.

If she asks why, then point out the resturant bill and expectations of expensive dresses and shoes etc.,!

Sarah