Pregnant as a result of rape

fannyanna

Whattodo?? wrote: »

I was so worried she wouldn't be. I made my boyfriend tell her She must have literally dropped the phone, jumped in the car and put her foot down the whole way over:o

Whilst she's always been anti-abortion and offered her full support if I kept the child, she did say under the circumstances that she agreed a termination would be best. That was such a relief. As childish as it sounds the thought of having to go through it without Mum there was scaring me I guess we all need Mum at some point though, no matter how old and 'grown up' we are.


Thanks again to everyone for your support.xxx

Just seen this bit and it's bought tears to my eyes. I just want to wrap you up and give you a big old hug myself lol.

davsidipp

whattodo i really feel for you do whats right for you not what anyone else thinks you will be the one living this terrible nightmare of being raped by dealing with it the way you feel fit will help your healing process best of luck.

Whattodo??_2

inthesameboat wrote: »

Did they say you could go back there for counselling.

Thank you xx

On this point, they're referring myself and my boyfriend to a sexual assault referral centre for counselling not only for myself but for us as a couple should we need it But they said if I need any support at any time to call in or if they're closed to go to an a&e department because they will have someone trained to deal with things like this. It's good to know there is 'someone' there if/when I need it.

wingobins

I'm so sorry to hear about what happened. I know it will be a difficult decision for you to make but no one should judge you whatever you decide, only a person who has been in the same situation would understand. I'm so glad your boyfriend & family are there for you too. It's best to talk rather than bottling it up and 'your secret' coming out in years to come. I'm sure you will make the right decision and I certainly hope they get the horrible person that has done this to you. Good luck hun xx

AmandaD28

Whattodo - I think you have been incredibly brave and are dealing with this amazingly.

As others have confided what has happenned to them I too should say I have been through this aged 15 and the "thing" was fathered by my !!!!!phile uncle who raped me after months of grooming me.

I never told my mum about the pregnancy or the abortion and I went through it alone I once told my ex husband and he threw it back in my face when we seperated about 3 years after I almost had a breakdown so please please make sure that you receive the right support to get you through this now it all came back to a head when I was 18 and found myself pregnant with my first child who was later stillborn after I got a fluke infection which killed her I believed at the time I was being punished for taking those tablets and ending the thing earlier it took two years of counselling for me to accept that wasn't what happenned and I was never punished.

I have never told anyone else like I say other than my ex and my counsellor my best friends family or even my current OH do not know I cant cope with telling them either I see it as being over it was after I finished counselling and as far as I am concerned always will be now. I felt nothing when I had the termination but relief that it was over and that awful thing had gone. I'm now 29 I've had 3 children and I'm currently expecting my 4th all of my babies now have been very wanted and I have been excited from getting the BFP don't beat yourself up with thoughts of others and what they may think if you have decided a termination is right for you then go ahead and do that and its amazing that you have support around you to do so I'm sure you will feel numb for a while just make sure you use your support and keep talking.

When you next become pregnant I'm certain you will feel completely different I never even think of the abortion now I don't and never did class that as a baby it is little more than a group of unwanted cells and yes this does sound harsh when you haven't been there but someone else said we didn't ask for this and whilst it is some of our genes too they were not meant to be fertilised and begin to grow.

OP take care and good luck in whatever you decide to do

xxx

lazer

There us a thread on here somewhere about a girl who was raped, and didn't realise she was pregnant until it was too late to do anything about it other than have the child.

She was at university and didn't want to tell anyone and had no support etc.

She did tell her mum, who flew over from NI and supported her through the birth, and the girl seemed genuinely happy when she announced that she was now the proud mother of baby XXXX on the thread.

If anyone has a link to the thread please post it.

OP - I am so sorry to hear this has happened to you, and good luck with everything, I hope you make the right decision.

GeeBee38

whattodo I am so happy to hear that you have the loving support of your mother and partner and that the crisis centre was of great help too, i think you are a very brave young lady and i wish you well in the future.

take care big hugs xxxxxxxx

Saturnalia

I'm so sorry to hear of what happened to you. I'm glad the centre helped you and that your mum is going to support you. Wishing you all the best in your recovery.

GeeBee38

Whattodo?? wrote: »

Thank you xx

On this point, they're referring myself and my boyfriend to a sexual assault referral centre for counselling not only for myself but for us as a couple should we need it But they said if I need any support at any time to call in or if they're closed to go to an a&e department because they will have someone trained to deal with things like this. It's good to know there is 'someone' there if/when I need it.

And please make sure YOU DO carry on with the counsellling, and take all the help and support you are offered.
You may not think it now, but by dealing with things straight away will have a massive impact on your life & happiness
in the future.

I wish you well

Take care xxxxxxxx

Blue_Monkey

I’m so sorry you’re having to go through all this OP. It sounds like you’re being very level headed in a situation that is anything but!

Whilst I’ve never had to deal with rape, I am pregnant and I wondered if I could offer a slightly different perspective.

OH and I were having a cheesey moment the other day and I said (get the sick bucket ready!), “I think I love you even more at the moment because I’ve got Squirrel inside me with all his/her love for you too” (Squirrel is our silly pet name for our baby who we joke is hibernating...). For all the hormonal, irrational and physically uncomfortable parts of pregnancy, the overriding factor for me is that this baby has been made with love and I feel honoured and privileged to share this huge amount of love with my wonderful OH (told you to get the sick bucket ready).

I guess my point is, don’t let that vile man take this away from you. I imagine he’s already taken a lot, but don’t let him take away the pleasure that can be had from being pregnant. You are so so young and have got so much time for a baby later. Spend the rest of your 20s having fun, travelling, carving out a career, enjoy the lack of responsibility, whatever, and then when the time is right (or as right as it can be!) your little belly of love will happen. In the meantime, it’s good to see you’re getting some support from the RC organisation, and I imagine that some kind of counselling now will help ensure that this doesn’t lay dormant and then creep up on you in the future. Your main priority needs to be getting yourself back on track, you deserve that. Wishing you all the love and luck in the world