Desperately need a break

euronorris

marywooyeah wrote: »

I wash blue and green togehter, white on its own, blacks and purples, red and orange, towels and bedding separately. I've used a colour catcher before and it didnt work so never been brave enough to do it again! I will look into dry shampoo, not tried it either, thankyou

I don't know if anyone's asked this already, and this is not meant to cause offence, but do you think it's possible you have a touch of OCD? Or something similar?

My washing split consists of whites and darks. Occasionally I have a separate wash for delicates or bedding (only cos the bedding fills the machine! lol), or something new and bright in colour. But that's it, and I believe that is all that we need.

Dry shampoo is a freakin' God send! And I've noticed more ads for other companies doing it. Tresemme do one now I think.

aliasojo

euronorris wrote: »

I don't know if anyone's asked this already, and this is not meant to cause offence, but do you think it's possible you have a touch of OCD? Or something similar?

If that's the case then there are a few of us with it too.

I honestly don't think separating your washing into colour groups is anything more than a simple preference in washing technique.

After my last post here, I thought about this some more and I can remember our home economics teacher with a pile of clothes getting us to sort it into washes, by colour groups. So I suspect there are more of us 'groupers' lurking out there.

Sadly home economics was not always about making cheese scones.

Ames

I think with the colour grouping it depends how full the wash is. If someone's doing, say, a pink wash with just two items then that's a waste of energy and water. If there's enough different colour groups to do full washes then fine, but a lot of half washes is very time and resource consuming.

LEJC

aliasojo wrote: »

If that's the case then there are a few of us with it too.

I think ocd is a label thats too frequently used nowadays...and yes I also think that everyone has their own way of doing things which could be interpreted as ocd...

what its actually about is your own perception of how you cope...and sadly there seems to be a lot of people who always think someone else does it better rather than realising your limitations and accepting them or doing something about it to change

euronorris

aliasojo wrote: »

If that's the case then there are a few of us with it too.

I honestly don't think separating your washing into colour groups is anything more than a simple preference in washing technique.

After my last post here, I thought about this some more and I can remember our home economics teacher with a pile of clothes getting us to sort it into washes, by colour groups. So I suspect there are more of us 'groupers' lurking out there.

Sadly home economics was not always about making cheese scones.

Fair enough, but this, as well as hoovering and tidying so often (because the OP said she can't stand to see the mess) seems to be making her unhappy.

I think there have been some great suggestions (I've caught up now! lol) on how to better manage things, and OP should consider if dropping her standards a little would make her feel better. If she can't bear to do that, then I think she may have an underlying issue which needs to be addressed.

I must admit, I was never taught to group the colours, and it's never occurred to me, to do that either. Keeping the colours looking fresher for longer, does sound tempting. But not tempting enough for me! lol

As for the hair thing, mine used to get greasy very quickly too. It is true that, the more you wash it, the more oil your scalp will produce to keep it moisturised. But, then I found dry shampoo and started to space out the time inbetween washes. It took a while, but your scalp adjusts, and then you don't need the dry shampoo so often. I can now go 2 full days without needing to wash it.

The hair is also a confidence issue for the OP though, and I also saw it's very long, so perhaps a cut would help? Nothing too drastic, just enough length removed to make it more manageable.

The worst thing about long hair, I find, is all the bl00dy hairs get everywhere! Now THAT drives me up the wall (and my OH! lol).

aliasojo

LEJC wrote: »

...and sadly there seems to be a lot of people who always think someone else does it better......

I have the opposite problem....I'm a perfectionist...no-one does it better than me. :rotfl:

It can be a real pain being me sometimes, delegation comes with it's own set of worries.

bobble_hat

Hi Mary :wave:

I read your first post and have read through the entire thread. You could be me! I just wanted to say that the fact that you have put down everything you are feeling in black and white is really brave.

I live in a panic everyday and feel like because I'm stressed about everything which needs doing, I'm not actually getting anything done and I have no patience when dealing with my DD (2 years old).

So I'm feeling stressed, panicky and guilty. It is not relevant that you are vacuuming 3-4 times a day and doing all the washing, what is relevant is that you are feeling stressed enough to write such a long first post about it all.

There have been some fantastic helpful replies on here to you and I'm going to be taken some of them on board.

I have no advice but wanted to say, thank you for being braver than me and sticking your head above the parapet of your life to ask for help, because I never would and your post has made me feel less, well, mentally challenged , so I hope things get less stressed for you and Thanks :A

marywooyeah

amibovvered wrote: »

Didn't I read somewhere that you only got married 2 weeks ago - did you not have a honeymoon? If so, why do you need another break so soon? If not, then no wonder you need a break after all the stress of planning a wedding!

hi yes it was july 16th, honeymoon starts on the 14th. I did all the organising myself and the day before and on the wedding day several members of my family imposed on me/let me down which added to the stress.

marywooyeah

January20 wrote: »

I bet her kids don't get ill very often though....
And I bet they are happy kids too...
It's 11:45 now and I'm still in my pyjamas and I'm an adult, but I'm on holidays so why should I stress about things like that?
You sound very judgemental of your friend, but I bet hers is a happy household! She doesn't have to cope with everything. she just has to choose what she can do and what she can't. My dd is 18 and I can tell that those 18 years went in a blink of an eye. I'd better make the most of having her here this summer because in September she goes to university. In September housework will still be here!

although I can see why you think that, I've tried hard not to be judgemental of her but over time I couldnt help but notice her kids were just sat in front of the tv between meals while she cleared up and cooked on an endless cycle, the kids are dirty and I don't want to say "neglected" but she doesnt spend much time with them individually and I feel a bit sorry for them tbh, it's quite an unhappy household as her and her husband can't stand each other but won't divorce for religious reasons

marywooyeah

balletshoes wrote: »

Thats all perfectly fine JodyBPM, but the OP doesn't seem that happy to be doing all this repetitive housework ie she doesn't like a messy home, but she gets irritated when she does get the hoover out 4 times a day/clears up toys umpteen times a day and all her work is undone. She is the only one who can solve this, and if she's getting stressed out about it she's the one who will have to find a way to cope with it all .

I'm pretty sure I've already said that I don't hoover 4 times a day every day! yesterday was just an exceptionally messy day and it probably was the straw that broke the camel's back.

bestpud wrote: »

That is why I asked! darlyd is like you with housework, but has a health problem!

Sorry if I offended you but my question was actually genuine and the fact you and darlyd agree seems to suggest I wasn't wrong to suspect there is an underlying issue for you. Do you see where I am coming from?

yes I see where you are coming from, I think it may have been your choice of words eg "I don't mean to be rude but do you have a mental health problem?" I think most people would be offended if you said that to them!

Firevixen wrote: »

OP - i know exactly how you feel. I have a 4 yr old and a 1.5 yr old. It drives me crazy, never feel like you get anywhere do you? and to top it off, my partner of 10yrs walked out on us 4 days ago.

I'm sorry to hear that hun that must have been quite a shock x