Desperately need a break

Zoetoes

It sounds more about the lack of support from the OH than the actual day to day life (although I know that is stressful).

OP you say you are in work on Saturday? You are working at weekends? Does your OH do all this while you're at work?

It can be more stressful being a coupled parent with little support from the partner than it can be a single parent, because you know you're the only one to do it!

For a short break what about something like this:
http://www.cottageselection.co.uk/sites/cottageselection/partners/nhs/pages/PropertyDetails_C.aspx?QS=103dc7ef-e166-40c6-99a4-d91487bf5de0~C~W42532~WEL~216~GBP~2~2~08-13-2011~A~N~1~728D9EB5-C018-DBDC-D615-0CDBB97EBDAA~32235~0~5~N~N~N~N~N



If the link works!

I was looking at that one myself, you can search for other areas and dates etc

marywooyeah

RAS wrote: »

Why wash so much every day? Some of this is not even dirty, or are you changeing your child as often as you hoover?

How much of this actually needs ironing? NEEDS ironing?



You seem to be trying to live like Posh. You do not need to shower and wash your hair before going out. You need to let go and get more realistic standards.

By the way, Posh has not been seen since little one was born, and you can bet she does not look great at the mo.

Please let go, start to be the adult in this relationship and be realistic about what you child needs.

Which is a firm but fun mummy not an immaculate floor or dictating what happens.

When can he start nursery by the way?

Theres loads of washing cos theres 3 of us, and all the different colours eg reds/oranges, whites, colours, blacks and then I wash towels separately - I agree its a lot and I myself can't quite understand why theres so much either! and believe me I dont iron anything that doesnt need doing I hate ironing!

I have naturally greasy hair so if I don't wash it it's literally stuck to my head and it goes darker - when its washed its a lot lighter and looks much better. I don't have much confidence either so I think part of it is I can't go out til I feel ok.
he was going to nursery while I was at uni but came out over the summer - aybe I'm just finding it difficult to readjust to being at home.
I'm not a dictator in any way! I love playing with him and we play trains and cars and stuff, its just the blooming mess it causes I dont want him growing up in a pigsty.

btw, posh probably can't barely move after having a csection and is run ragged with 4 kids!

kjmtidea

How do you have so much washing?! I have 4 kids and I do 1-2 loads a day and that's with eczema and bed wetting problems.
I can't stand mess either so I declutter a lot, we have big toy boxes that everything can just get chucked into. Hoovering 4 times a day - I did this when I was pregnant but then hoovering was my 'thing' I craved it a lot lol.

I think you just need to take a big step back, take a deep breathe and make a plan De clutter, get bigger toy boxes, make your little one eat at the table - or outside when it's sunny, even less mess!

ETA - As for the showering every day thing, I just have to have a shower every morning without fail, I have been washing my hair every day for 14 years so it is used to it, it gets absolutely minging if I don't wash it in the morning. I feel revolting if I don't have a shower, almost ill and depressed - as over the top as that sounds!

marywooyeah

Zoetoes wrote: »

Does your OH do all this while you're at work?

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
sorry, let me compose myself! no lol, I only work saturday mornings atm, its a strange situation because I am a law student and was offered a placement at a law firm starting september and at the moment I work the reception at the drop in clinic we have so I'm only gone for a few hours. but he tends to just play with our son while I'm gone rather than clean up.

thankyou for the link, I will look now x

Spendless

marywooyeah wrote: »

Theres loads of washing cos theres 3 of us, and all the different colours eg reds/oranges, whites, colours, blacks and then I wash towels separately - I agree its a lot and I myself can't quite understand why theres so much either! and believe me I dont iron anything that doesnt need doing I hate ironing!

I have naturally greasy hair so if I don't wash it it's literally stuck to my head and it goes darker - when its washed its a lot lighter and looks much better. I don't have much confidence either so I think part of it is I can't go out til I feel ok.

You don't mean you are doing a blue load of clothes, and a red load and a green load do you? :cool: No wonder you have so much washing if you do, stop doing it! At most do a light, dark and white load. Stick a colour catcher in if you're worried about running. Haven't tried it myself but my Uni student neice swears by dry shampoo for inbetween washes.

marywooyeah

kjmtidea wrote: »

ETA - As for the showering every day thing, I just have to have a shower every morning without fail, I have been washing my hair every day for 14 years so it is used to it, it gets absolutely minging if I don't wash it in the morning. I feel revolting if I don't have a shower, almost ill and depressed - as over the top as that sounds!

thats exactly the same as me! as for the washing I just dont know how it piles up so much but recently I've been doing 2 loads a day for the past couple of weeks

marywooyeah

Spendless wrote: »

You don't mean you are doing a blue load of clothes, and a red load and a green load do you? :cool: No wonder you have so much washing if you do, stop doing it! At most do a light, dark and white load. Stick a colour catcher in if you're worried about running. Haven't tried it myself but my Uni student neice swears by dry shampoo for inbetween washes.

I wash blue and green togehter, white on its own, blacks and purples, red and orange, towels and bedding separately. I've used a colour catcher before and it didnt work so never been brave enough to do it again! I will look into dry shampoo, not tried it either, thankyou

cinderfella

I think there are 3 things here that you can do:---

1/ Daily Time management sheet, writing down times to yourself, with toddler, choirs etc. washing once daily max, hoovering once daily max.

2/ Spending 1 hour in the Bath each evening - de stressing & planning next day.

3/ Getting on your local bus (with toddler) & looking at what is available (parks etc) on the bus route, & making sure you visit those parks on every nice day.

Sorry thats all I can suggest.

bestpud

Good grief!

I don't mean to be rude, but do you have a mental health issue? OCD or the like? I ask as your attitude to housework is completely over the top!

Why is it a problem if you spend half an hour going to the shop for eggs? If you are out of the house and your son is happy, why make an issue of it?

Seriously, chill out! There is no point you going away as you will be back to square one when you return! The problem is you and your expectations!

As for two loads of washing a day!! :eek::eek::eek: That is just madness!!

There is four of us in this house and we do around 5/6 loads at the weekend, if that. And, yes, we wear clean clothes and three of us shower every day!

I also wonder what housework you think your OH should be doing when you aren't there? You'd have been cleaning all day, so what on earth would there be for him to do?? Maybe he prefers to spend quality time with his child, like most parents would?

Your son is growing up and you are letting it pass in a blur of stress and housework. You need to get a grip on the important things in life.

Your son won't remember how clean the house was - he will remember the time he spent with you. In his case, those memories will be of a mum who just chased him round moaning about housework, argued with daddy over housework and rushed back from a walk to the shop to do more housework.

Is that what you want for him?

smartpicture

marywooyeah wrote: »

I wash blue and green togehter, white on its own, blacks and purples, red and orange, towels and bedding separately. I've used a colour catcher before and it didnt work so never been brave enough to do it again! I will look into dry shampoo, not tried it either, thankyou

I really don't understand this - I do lights, darks and whites, and if there isn't enough of one type, I cram them together and add a colour catcher, which works brilliantly. But even if you don't trust the colour catcher, I've never heard of anyone washing blacks and purples separately from reds, oranges, blues and greens, does anyone else do this??

I have greasy hair and do use the dry shampoo sometimes, it's not the same as a proper wash but it does remove all trace of grease and from the outside looks fine, even if you're aware of the difference.

With regards to the tidying, if he wants to empty one tub all over the floor, fine, but the other tubs are out of reach and won't be brought down until you've finished tidying up together. And I agree that if it takes half an hour to walk to the shop, so what? Just enjoy that time together, use it to teach him more about the outside world and while he's out he's not making mess at home. You don't have to be home to be baking together by a certain time, do you?

If you've always been an organised, deadline-driven driven person then it may take you a while to adjust to a different way of thinking, but it has it's own rewards.