MSE Parent Club

chocaholic110

fac73 wrote: »

Agutka that sounds like a sales pitch But I agree with all your points, they have really got it exactly right. How is Joseph? And you?

We found Elliot's first tooth last night. 4 months of teething symptoms, I was starting to think it might never happen! But there it is, shiny white and as sharp as a needle. That and the bruises, scratches and pinchmarks are putting me right off breastfeeding

So glad that's not just me. DS and DD were lovely calm breastfeeders. Tom writhes, kicks, pinches, bites and pulls on and off the whole time he's feeding. If he'd been my first baby I would definitely have gone over to formula as I was doubting that we were doing it right. Only the fact that he puts loads of weight on each week has kept me going - though he does still feed roughly every two hours during the day and never seems to feed long enough I don't think. But how do you keep a baby fededing if he's pulling his head anywhere but where it should be??

Also I'm still finding it difficult to express much (about 2oz a time) and he won't take formula and I have to go on a day long course for work in 2 weeks time :eek: :eek:

daphne_descends

Agutka wrote: »

Speaking of breastfeeding, lovely to see the campaigns happening, maybe they might even explain to first timers that it is hard work and not like in the videos, so we won't be put off at the first sign of trouble (I seriously didn't know the truth, so gave up thinking we were just pants at it). But enough of the propaganda. I was in mothercare yesterday looking at holiday items. And the spiel about breastfeeding being better was on everything. I understand it on milk powders, everyday bottles, foods etc, but it's been seven months and I'm still being made to feel bad about the bottle. Everywhere I look I'm being shouted at. Why don't they just stop selling the stuff and you'll only be able to get bottles from GPs on prescription when you have a valid medical reason . I'll never forget being made to feel like a leper at the hospital one night (please do not go into the feeding room, as there are mothers breastfeeding in there, go next door) on your own, crying. Still sends shivers down my spine. And now I suppose I can blame it on the bottle when Joseph gets a cold, or teethes later, or whatever else is normal. Grrr. Don't mean to offend, but it ust got a bit much.

On a brighter note, Joseph looked at me yesterday and said MAMA :j:j:T:D:A Soooooo beautiful. Got lots of unwanted (boys eh?) kisses and cuddles for that. I am in love!

I agree and think that pre-natal and post-natal advice and support should be much, much more than it is. I had no clue what breastfeeding was going to be like and thought several times that I couldn't have enough/good enough milk because he wanted to feed all the time. At no point did a midwife or health visitor say this was normal, it was only reading a parenting forum that enlightened me and thank god I found it because I would have definitely stopped otherwise. No one really tells you what to expect, the frequency and length of feeds, to let the baby suckle in order to produce the milk in the first place (I just assumed it would be there) and the sheer lack of sleep in the early days when you are already exhausted - especially if you've had a c-section!

No one should feel guilty about their feeding choice but the important thing is that it IS your choice and not the formula companies with their clever marketing and, to be frank, undermining of breastfeeding. Sadly lots of people do believe that formula is as good as breastmilk - Aptamil even marketed as 'closest to breastmilk' though I believe this has now changed to 'closer to breastmilk' because the truth is no one knows what is in breastmilk or how to make it, it cannot be formulated. Knowing this and choosing to use formula is absolutely fine. But it is a shame when people don't know this - it does a disservice to women and babies.

Formula is an adequate substitute for breastmilk and I believe should be widely available to everyone - but I also believe it should be unbranded and CHEAP - it is horrendously expensive when compared to cows milk.

If it really bothers you - in more than a passing sense - you could contact one of the breastfeeding support lines to talk about your experience and maybe help you deal with the lack of support you had. But the most important thing is to just look at Jospeh and see how is he thriving and healthy and full of spirit - there is no need to feel any guilt. Breastfed babies get ill too!

And it is not all roses on this side either. 'Are you still feeding that baby?' 'When are you going to give him some proper milk?' 'Isn't he a bit old for that now?' 'Get some formula in him and get your life back' - the support I personally have had - or not had - makes me so upset, it is the most thankless job I have ever done, and will Elliot ever be grateful? Of course he won't! DP leaves the room every time I feed him. Every single time. And the reason I cannot contemplate another baby is that I can't go through this again. There, I said it.

I am so jealous that he said 'mama', you must be over the moon. Elliot just says 'vrm' or does raspberries :rolleyes:

daphne_descends

chocaholic110 wrote: »

So glad that's not just me. DS and DD were lovely calm breastfeeders. Tom writhes, kicks, pinches, bites and pulls on and off the whole time he's feeding. If he'd been my first baby I would definitely have gone over to formula as I was doubting that we were doing it right. Only the fact that he puts loads of weight on each week has kept me going - though he does still feed roughly every two hours during the day and never seems to feed long enough I don't think. But how do you keep a baby fededing if he's pulling his head anywhere but where it should be??

Also I'm still finding it difficult to express much (about 2oz a time) and he won't take formula and I have to go on a day long course for work in 2 weeks time :eek: :eek:

Ok, I read this morning that all the kicking and pinching is really affection, does that make you feel any better? No, me neither!

I can't express to save my life and Elliot won't take a bottle from me - but he will from DP - so might Tom do better when you are actually away - when the choice isn't there I mean? Or maybe whoever is looking after him could spoon feed him some milk, slow progress but it might work?

SeptemberBaby_2

I must be one harsh Mommy as I don't give BFing a second thought at all! I remember asking the MW in hospital for a bottle and expecting harsh words but she just asked which brand! Bottle feeding has worked out really well for us as DH does his share, I get plenty of rest, and my family always squabble about who is feeding her .

I might look into getting that highchair to keep at my Mums and Poppy goes there twice a week....I think currently Mum feeds her in the bouncy chair! . I do love my own SC highchair though.

Congrats, Elliot on your first tooth! :j (you do know that whoever found it has to buy you something, don't you?!). Poppy got two at once a few weeks ago now but no sign of any more yet.

daphne_descends

DP found the tooth - do you mean he has to buy me a present? I like this rule a lot! (Er, it was my birthday last week, and I got a Wii, so on second thoughts... )

Agutka

fac73 wrote: »

I am so jealous that he said 'mama', you must be over the moon. Elliot just says 'vrm' or does raspberries :rolleyes:

It was just the nicest feeling ever. And now, when he even gets close to mamamama mumbling you sit up in case he needs you. Very weird. Should get annoying pretty quickly 'muuuuuuuuuummmyyy!!!'

Anyway, I have no problem with bottle feeding, as everyone here is from the 'never did me any 'arm' brigade. But I had planned on breastfeeding (hubby had to rush out of hospital and emergency buy all the equipment for bottles). Maybe I should get in touch with them (bfing people) and see if they know that we don't know... I'm just being rather hounded by mother recently for everything that is wrong with me, so packets having a go at me in a shop were upsetting for some reason - I walked out mumbling to myself :rotfl:. I'll got now, I have bottles to wash :rolleyes::D

Mazcabs

Hi guys

decided on a Chicco Happy Snack Highchair. Went to get it in ToysRus but masses of people so went to Mothercare and it was only £39.99 so £10 off!!

I dont feel bad about not breastfeeding.. gave up after 6 weeks, Henry is 19½ lbs at 6½ months so cant be doing him any harm having a bottle. Just wish that everything in the hospital wasnt so BF orientated as some people cant....

daphne_descends

90% of people start, most give up before 6 weeks. So at least 90% can breastfeed - why should their needs be ignored in favour of the less than 10% that cannot - and I mean 'cannot', not 'choose not to'. And if you 'cannot' then there is no need to feel guilty. And if you 'choose not to' and are happy with that choice, then there is no need to feel guilty. I am not sure what the problem is. As most people stop within 6 weeks there is clearly a problem with the support provided, so if anything the hospital information etc should be stepped up a mark, not reduced.

Whatever anyone thinks, it's the physiological natural way to feed a baby so why wouldn't everything be 'BF orientated'?

Baybee1984

I didnt BF my 4 year old.. okay that needs re-wording haha I meant when he was born, obv! No real reason, was just a decision I made.. and good job really as he was one hungry baby!!! lol

Mazcabs

Sorry fac73 said that wrong what I mean is that they werent very helpful when I couldnt carry on.