bit disappointed

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

bewilderedhelpneeded wrote: »

I am disappointed in in apparent lack of effort to be honest - If he had turned up with a haribo sweet ring, got down on one knee and asked me properly I would have treasured that haribo ring probably forever. no, Im not bothered about the value of the ring at all, its just the fact that he does not appear to have made any effort, with the proposal, with saving (if he had said to me he had stayed in a couple of nights to pay for a ring I would have been over the moon!) Standing in argos flipping through a catalogue and his apparent lack of interest is what got to me. we could have been buying anything is the way it felt to me, not special at all!

I bet his ex is stating the same about his "lack of effort" supporting his kids but he has money to splash out on a ring for you . . . .

The fact he has debts, cheated on his wife, doesnt support his kids, sounds like a waste of space (drinking money away he doesnt have, doesnt put effort in) should send you running for the hills

If you wasnt happy with th proposal you could of said "no"

Have you considered he let you pick the ring because you might be fussy? He might have been worried he would of gotten you one you didnt like?

SavingPennies_2

I can understand why you are upset. its all very well people saying if you love him the price doesnt matter but thats not really the point here is it. Its not about the price, its the fact he was disinterested in the "moment" and the choice, and made no effort to save up. If he was really poor and saved for months to buy you the Argos ring then fine, but clearly he could have gone without a few nights down the pub and the gadgets he was simultaneously buying in argos to stretch the budget!

Can you cancel the ring order, im sure you can, and tell him you want to choose another one, properly this time with his full attention and a bigger budget?

pinkclouds

bewilderedhelpneeded wrote: »

Thats exactly it - you have hit the nail on the head

Does he know this, though? Do you talk about these things? Do you expect him to make romantic gestures all the time and feel disappointed when he doesn't? Contrary to popular belief, most people aren't psychic and cannot mind-read.

Some people are just not the flower-buying sort. Remember: you cannot change anyone; you can only accept them for who they are.

pigpen

My first engagement ring cost a whole weeks wages... Fabulous yes... except that weeks wages was £30. I still have it.. got rid of him though lol.

You think if this guy was such a catch he wouldn't have been sh***ing about when he was married before??

I would have said an absolute no to buying the ring on my own as a 'let's shut the silly woman' up gesture.

I think you may be bit of a mug and dreaming of the type of relationship this first class loser cannot and will not ever give you... sorry, but it seems you have taken on this 'man' in not ideal circmstances.. he sounds like the type to end up married 6 times and until he is shat upon from a great height he won't ever change.. God help you!!

You know 95% of those 'evil' things his ex-wife says about him are true don't you?

bewilderedhelpneeded

pinkclouds wrote: »

Does he know this, though? Do you talk about these things? Do you expect him to make romantic gestures all the time and feel disappointed when he doesn't? Contrary to popular belief, most people aren't psychic and cannot mind-read.

Some people are just not the flower-buying sort. Remember: you cannot change anyone; you can only accept them for who they are.

Thats certainly food for thought!

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

Going by your OP - He NEVER PLANNED to ask you to marry him, he did it after an arguement stating he wanted to do something radical so WHY on earth WOULD he have saved up or even planned it to be special?

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

pigpen wrote: »

My first engagement ring cost a whole weeks wages... Fabulous yes... except that weeks wages was £30. I still have it.. got rid of him though lol.

You think if this guy was such a catch he wouldn't have been sh***ing about when he was married before??

I would have said an absolute no to buying the ring on my own as a 'let's shut the silly woman' up gesture.

I think you may be bit of a mug and dreaming of the type of relationship this first class loser cannot and will not ever give you... sorry, but it seems you have taken on this 'man' in not ideal circmstances.. he sounds like the type to end up married 6 times and until he is shat upon from a great height he won't ever change.. God help you!!

You know 95% of those 'evil' things his ex-wife says about him are true don't you?

LOL I love your posts pigpen - Always give me a chuckle :rotfl:

make_me_wise

Its not the ring you wear on your finger that counts but what you feel inside for the person you are engaged to. Going by your post OP I cant work out what you are more disappointed in, the ring or the man!!!

MrsE_2

Snuggles wrote: »

I agree with many other posters that the ring shouldn't really matter that much.

When me and OH got engaged, I didn't want him to spend loads of money on a ring. If I had wanted something which I knew he couldn't afford, I would have offered to pay something towards it. I don't see why a man should be expected to scrimp and save and make sacrifices just to pay for an expensive ring - why can't the woman contribute?

But he should, thats the romantic part. Whether he spends a lot or a little, what matters is he has to put himself out to afford it.

OP don't marry him, hes a selfish git.

SavingPennies_2

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

Going by your OP - He NEVER PLANNED to ask you to marry him, he did it after an arguement stating he wanted to do something radical so WHY on earth WOULD he have saved up or even planned it to be special?

But as the OP said, she was happy to wait while he saved...

Also no he didn't have time to plan for it to be special but he could have shown interest in choosing a ring instead of buying gadgets while the OP is trying the ring on for size.