bit disappointed

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

lol I dont see why everyone is saying the OP's fella should of been more romantic about it.

I wonder how many more arguments they have had just recently - It may of been a "ill propose to shut her up" situation (ive seen this before with a friend lol)

He MIGHT of been more romantic had he of wanted to get engaged. The fact he proposed after an argument, WHILST STILL MARRIED, and then couldnt be bothered about the ring suggests this isnt a man who wants a big commitment like that

I know if Mr Mimi ever asked me like this then he'd be eating his goolies for tea

Tish_P

I think you should break this engagement off. Not because the ring cost so little - lots of people on this thread have been rightly happy with cheap or no rings, and others find engagement rings problematic for personal reasons (speaking for myself, I find them a little bit too much like an Under Offer sign on a house, but if a friend is over the moon to have one I'll coo over it to celebrate her happiness). No, because, having just got engaged, you aren't happy. That's your gut instincts telling you something. Perhaps you're focusing on the ring to stop yourself from thinking about the more important things, like do you actually want to spend the rest of your life with him?

Given that he U-turns from angry text messages to offhand proposals of marriage in a few hours, and clearly doesn't have that much interest in anything beyond bringing you round after an argument - I noticed he said you should do "something radical" and get engaged, not married - I'd be somewhat concerned about his commitment too, to be honest. As a little experiment, ask him to set a date.

I think loving him to bits isn't enough.

ViolaLass

So he asked you to marry him (oh wait, he didn't, he just said you should get engaged) because he felt like doing something radical?

Tell him to go for a parachute jump if all he wants is an adrenaline rush.

74jax

My BF, proposed to me completely out of the blue with an ice-cream cone! Which I ate!

We then spent what seemed like forever choosing a ring. I was the one who said the cost didn't matter. If my BF had spent 3 x his salary (even 1 x his salary) I would have been too scared to wear it!

I have to say, from the moment we got engaged until now, I'm the happiest i've been. I feel like i'm bouncing. It's a shame you don't have this feeling. Maybe when the ring comes have him 'propose' with it? It might make it seem more real.

fairydiamond

Why are people so fussy about ''romance'', my hubby proposed to me on a bus and I couldn't have been more excited! I could've been on the toilet for all I cared... the man I loved wanted to marry me!!! Me!!! I was overjoyed!

LEJC

fairydiamond wrote: »

Why are people so fussy about ''romance'', my hubby proposed to me on a bus and I couldn't have been more excited! I could've been on the toilet for all I cared... the man I loved wanted to marry me!!! Me!!! I was overjoyed!

That kind of sums it up really....its not about the ring or the proposal its about whether you want to spend your life with this man...

We can all recount our proposals...some are romantic and some are not...but what matters is the rest of your lives together...just because you have a nice ring and a romantic proposal doesn't mean that the fairytale lasts forever...and sometimes the "roughest of diamonds"...no pun intended...turn out to be the best...

Percy1983

We had a seagul as a witness.

~Diamond~

I know what you mean. Every woman wants the whole romantic proposal moment in their lives with a ring that will make other women 'oooh' and 'aarhh'

But in reality most men do not think in a romantic way sadly. I have yet to be proposed to by my partner and in my mind I know I would love it to be romantic and something that I could remember forever fondly. In reality he is just a man.

Maybe he could have saved up for a ring, but by the sounds of it, it was a spur of the moment kind of thing. If you really do not like the ring I would ask if he could maybe save a little out of his drinking money to in the near future get you one you like, after all if you are going to be with him for a long time you have to look at the ring everyday.

But most of all love should be first. It is all about how you really feel about that person. If you love him and he loves you then you will get through this and be laughing about it in years to come. If you do not love him then do not waste time.

Tish_P

Diamond, your last paragraph is good advice but please tone down the "every woman wants" thing! We're not clones, some of us don't want marriage at all and some women have spelt out in this very thread that they were blissful to get engaged without a big traditionally romantic proposal.

Percy1983

I came away from my proposal with a memory, she didn't actually say yes. She said 'of course I will'.

With that I am told I am romantic for a bloke , I say this as I got a custom made as I couldn't find one I thought she would like.

I made a winnie the pooh teddy for her birthday (yes actually cut out pieces of winnie colour furry fabric and sewn it togeher), she did get tigger the year after but I did cheat slightly as my skills came to an end and I used a marker for his stripes!. With that they are both a bit wonky and she probably should squeeze them too hard, but they are certainly one-offs and she loves them to bits.

As it is being romantic and money saving do fit together quite nicely as well which is a bonus.