Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

purpletoenails

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Can I ask if you have much of a social life away from this man?

Do you get the chance to meet many other people?

I keep reasonably busy working and do some volunteering but I don't tend to meet new people in either of these situations. I see my extended family most weeks and go out with my friends maybe once a month. Would like to go out more, but people just don't seem to go out as much as they used to. So in answer to your question, no I rarely get the chance to meet many other people!

poet123

1echidna wrote: »

We could test it out with the abuse team. See what they think. However I'm not particularly bitter, just a warning that I'm not falling for obvious trolling.

Do grow up, report the post if you wish to, and I really don't accept "warnings" from other posters, particularly those who are prone to post provocative comments to elicit some "excitement". If you invite comment on any form of adultery ( which you did) you will get it.

catkins

nickyhutch wrote: »

Good for you.

I know, it is isn't it?

nickyhutch

catkins wrote: »

I know, it is isn't it?

I hope you have a long and happy marriage. I do think, given the prevalence of flings, affairs and one night stands and the availability of the "quickie", it's admirable to be so sure that one has one of the few partners who will never, ever be swayed or tempted.

I don't mean to be harsh, though I'm sure you think I am. I've seen this from the other side - I've been the single woman on dating sites, on nights out, in the office, a friend of a friend.... and seen that married, engaged, attached, long term, they still try and still do. Not all of them, I'm sure, but more than you'd imagine.

POPPYOSCAR

purpletoenails wrote: »

I keep reasonably busy working and do some volunteering but I don't tend to meet new people in either of these situations. I see my extended family most weeks and go out with my friends maybe once a month. Would like to go out more, but people just don't seem to go out as much as they used to. So in answer to your question, no I rarely get the chance to meet many other people!

That is a shame.

Do you think there might be some sort of activity that you could perhaps consider doing, some sort of club or night school to give you the opportunity to meet others?

POPPYOSCAR

nickyhutch wrote: »

I hope you have a long and happy marriage. I do think, given the prevalence of flings, affairs and one night stands and the availability of the "quickie", it's admirable to be so sure that one has one of the few partners who will never, ever be swayed or tempted.

I don't mean to be harsh, though I'm sure you think I am. I've seen this from the other side - I've been the single woman on dating sites, on nights out, in the office, a friend of a friend.... and seen that married, engaged, attached, long term, they still try and still do. Not all of them, I'm sure, but more than you'd imagine.

Yes, I would have thought that quite a few people whose OH had an affair also thought it would never happen to them. I know it came as quite a bit of a shock to me at the time.

maggie60

Hi, I am a long time lurker on this site but so feel need to chat. I was married once and separated 24 years ago. My ex found someone after 8 weeks and well I never felt the need to do,I raised my children and never got involved with anyone. My youngest now 23 and three years ago i began to have a connection with a married man and yes i got involved. Now i am a Catholic and I fell in love and still am. He was and still is married, I never intented for this to happen and regret to this day it has. Never felted and wanted to give all to any one before. I love him but dont know how he feels about me, I am so full of guilt yet in love. I dont get meals, gifts or anything like that, just the odd text, I know its wrong and will always be, yet I am now over 50 and I just love him. I ended all contact over 6 weeks ago and trying so hard to let go and struggle to this day to do so. I go to bed every night and beg for forgiveness and I just want my life to end so I dont have to be the bad person I am and be in so much pain. I never asked the question as I knew the answer, It would never have been me, never would be. He is also A catholic and would never leave his marriage, he would never hurt his kids. I recognise that but god its so painful and its not worth this ache and pain that I feel every day. I wish you all the happiness in the world and hope you get what you want. xx

maggie60

I dont need anyone here to damn me, as I do that to myself every day. I just felted the need to tell my story. No there is no happy ever after with me. i will live with this guilt forever and never understand why after all those years alone, raising my children that I fell for a married man.

mandi

maggie60 wrote: »

I don't need anyone here to damn me, as I do that to myself every day. I just felted the need to tell my story. No there is no happy ever after with me. i will live with this guilt forever and never understand why after all those years alone, raising my children that I fell for a married man.

It's tough maggie isn't it . I understand .:)

Been there , done that and....... worn the T shirt

What I came to realise is that " The married man" wants extra marital sex without any emotional ties .

As long as " the wife" doesn't find out .

My married man just happened to get his wife pregnant twice during our relationship

Dump him and move on . He will never leave his wife as much as you love him . Sorry

catkins

nickyhutch wrote: »

I hope you have a long and happy marriage. I do think, given the prevalence of flings, affairs and one night stands and the availability of the "quickie", it's admirable to be so sure that one has one of the few partners who will never, ever be swayed or tempted.

I don't mean to be harsh, though I'm sure you think I am. I've seen this from the other side - I've been the single woman on dating sites, on nights out, in the office, a friend of a friend.... and seen that married, engaged, attached, long term, they still try and still do. Not all of them, I'm sure, but more than you'd imagine.

Believe me I know how many people have affairs - I see it around me all the time but I have been married over 30 years and I know how my husband feels about infidelity - even more strongly than I do if that is possible. He has fallen out with friends because they cheated and he disapproved.

He is quite old fashioned in some ways. I suggested living together but he would not hear of it. He said he felt it an insult to only live with someone if you love them and wanted to marry me.

He does not really go out without me socially - I do sometimes go out without him. He also works very hard - long hours but as I book all his jobs I know where he is (lol!).