Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

euronorris

caledonian_princess wrote: »

Bogof_Babe, you sound like a very understanding woman who seems to knows her husband better than he knows himself. I've always feared emotional infidelity more than physical, to me it seems a much bigger betrayal than, say a one night stand. I hope things work out for you and your husband and that, in time, it stops hurting so much.

I second this.

All the best Bogof_Babe and big ((HUGS))

1sttimer_2

1echidna wrote: »

Except with that you can end up with a dose of clap or your OH with a baby to support. There really is a lot of emotional nonsense in some of these replies.

Bogof_Babe said that it was an emotional affair - not a s=xual one - so little chance of getting a dose of clap or a baby!

My OH had an affair which destroyed me at the time, but because it was an online one and the s=x was through skype etc, (the mind boggles really!) I classed it as an emotional one. Still a tough one to get over, but after lots of talks etc it can be done. I wasn't prepared to sacrifice 27 years of marriage because of this. In our case, because he strayed we had to look at WHY he did, and when you know that, you can address the problem. I didn't think we had any problems, but he did!

No affair is nice, and I now believe you can never ever be 100% certain that it won't happen to you as I was sure it wouldn't happen to me!

Any mention of affairs and I reminded of his, so although you can forgive, you may never forget, so I do my best not to take sides and point the finger at whose fault it is because whatever people say, you will only get their side of the story, and what they want you to hear.

Bogof_Babe

I wonder if the OP will be anywhere nearer her answer after reading today's posts!

Would I be right in thinking that 1echidna is a bloke? They do seem to have a somewhat different take on this sort of thing than a woman. It's probably biological. Doesn't make it right though.

Person_one

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

I wonder if the OP will be anywhere nearer her answer after reading today's posts!

Would I be right in thinking that 1echidna is a bloke? They do seem to have a somewhat different take on this sort of thing that a woman. It's probably biological. Doesn't make it right though.

1echidna is a spiny anteater. Just sayin'.

euronorris

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

I wonder if the OP will be anywhere nearer her answer after reading today's posts!

Would I be right in thinking that 1echidna is a bloke? They do seem to have a somewhat different take on this sort of thing that a woman. It's probably biological. Doesn't make it right though.

I don't think it's a bloke thing, it's an individual thing and probably comes down to upbringing and live experiences.

My OH's father always cheats, so he was already very anti-cheating. Since then, several of his exes have cheated also, so he is VERY much against cheating.

He recognises and accepts there are reasons why people cheat, but that doesn't excuse it or mean they had no other option.

I also had a friend who had a habit of lining up the next boyfriend (so to speak), before ending her current relationship because she couldn't stand to be alone. It didn't matter how much we pointed out that she was wrong to do this, and that in fact she really needed some time alone, she just didn't see it as a big deal. I love her, but it was entirely selfishness on her part. Then one day she was on the receiving end (and it was someone she REALLY loved) and truly understood how much it hurts and how much pain she inflicted on others. She finally took some time to be by herself as well and I can honestly say she has now changed for the better in that respect. I very much doubt she'd ever do it again now.

balletshoes

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I just hope that some of the posters on here who think their marriages are so secure, and that their other half would not cheat but end the relationship first, that their words do not come back to haunt them.

of course it happens, we've seen examples on this thread about it happening when the one who was cheated on really didn't see it coming. It could happen to any one of us - but that doesn't make it the right thing to do, does it?

relic

I haven't read anything in this thread apart from the OP, so sorry if what I say is "out of date".

I can't imagine starting a relationship based on cheating, at the end of the day if he was willing to cheat on his wife with you (whether it be emotional, or sexual) then what's to say a few years down the line he won't do it again?

1echidna

Don't work on your relationship, you deserve to cheated on, simple as that in my book.

Person_one

1echidna wrote: »

Don't work on your relationship, you deserve to cheated on, simple as that in my book.

Having fun? Have you considered knitting, or evening classes?

Person_one

relic wrote: »

I haven't read anything in this thread apart from the OP, so sorry if what I say is "out of date".

I can't imagine starting a relationship based on cheating, at the end of the day if he was willing to cheat on his wife with you (whether it be emotional, or sexual) then what's to say a few years down the line he won't do it again?

If you'd read even the first three posts after the OP you wouldn't have had to waste your time repeating what's been said many times over 31 pages!