Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

DUTR

Person_one wrote: »

Rubbish.

Excuses excuses, everybody is capable of NOT having an affair, its really easy, you just don't.

What Lotus eater has written is not rubbish, the summary is absolutely correct :cool:

Lotus-eater

Person_one wrote: »

Rubbish.

Excuses excuses, everybody is capable of NOT having an affair, its really easy, you just don't.

Wrong, almost everybody is capable of having an affair, very few people set out to have one, it just happens, the right circumstances, the right time.

It's not rubbish, it's just true life. You can live in your own bubble if you like, but it doesn't change the way humanity is.

kaya64

Magicboo wrote: »

surely you deserve to be loved by someone so much that they would do anything for you?
I know someone who recently "shacked up" with their married partner-but the married half of the relationship left the marriage 2 weeks after the extramarital affair started. I must admit, I've always thought the same as a couple of the posters above...they've done it once, they could do it again...but then..who knows? It takes all sorts to make the world go round.
I'm sure some times it does work out, but only the 2 of you can know if there is a future for you as a "public" couple.

sometimes it does work, i know of a couple who are very happily married for ten years now and have two children together, it was messy when he left his first wife ,but he is devoted to his new wife and seems so happy as before he never seemed settled, but i am set against affairs and i do think it is only few that acutally leave and have happy endings.

Person_one

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Wrong, almost everybody is capable of having an affair, very few people set out to have one, it just happens, the right circumstances, the right time.

It's not rubbish, it's just true life. You can live in your own bubble if you like, but it doesn't change the way humanity is.

Some people are self centred and unwilling to take responsibility for their own behaviour, that is sadly true.

Individuals DO have a choice though.

Lotus-eater

Person_one wrote: »

Some people are self centred and unwilling to take responsibility for their own behaviour, that is sadly true.

Individuals DO have a choice though.

Of course they have a choice, but sometimes their brain gets put into stasis and their body takes over the thought processes.

The way you look at it is very black and white and life just isn't like that.

Humans aren't like that and our body isn't either. I presume you have never done a wrong thing, or anything which you regret?

Person_one

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Humans aren't like that and our body isn't either. I presume you have never done a wrong thing, or anything which you regret?

A few, but I don't blame my body or the human condition for my mistakes!

Lotus-eater

Person_one wrote: »

A few, but I don't blame my body or the human condition for my mistakes!

Well maybe you should, it might make it easier on yourself.

heretolearn_2

I'm with person one on this. To say 'it just happened' or 'it's human nature' or 'I couldn't control my body' is ridiculous.

Of course people have affairs. They were not able to resist the temptation. But it's still their responsibility for what they did - they do have a brain in their body.We are not talking involuntary action such as sneezing - you can't stop yourself. There are things that are automatic and under 'systems' rather than brain control. A man might just get an erection as a physical reaction even if his brain was thinking 'no, no, no'. But to then take than erection and introduce it into Mrs TiggyWinkle (lol), that's a deliberate action. That can't happen without brain thinking 'yes, ok, do this'.

Some people chose to have affairs. It's a choice, simple fact.

Other people face the same temptations and situations, and chose not to.

Probably those who have had affairs imagine those who haven't have never felt that attraction, never been unhappy in their marriage, never been turned on by another person, never been in a situation where they could.... that they are somehow special and not to blame because it's all down to exceptional circumstances. Rubbish. We've all been there at some point or other.

Some people just have no morals. Simples. It is black and white. a binary decision. do it or don't do it. there's no grey in the middle of those two choices.

mrs_angry

the way i look on it is like this........ to get close to someone and end up sleeping with them can and does happen, thats how we end up being with people, to know someone is married and still do that is wrong, but can and does happen, people/humans make mistakes, submit to urges etc.....

BUT to then go back and do it again and again and again is not a mistake!! its a choice, and then it becomes moral, people/humans can and do make choices, people know the difference between right and wrong.

my husband submitted to an urge,( ive had that urge before just had morals and made a choice to not act on it), ok thats the mistake, BUT he then did it again and again and thats where it stopped being a mistake and became a choice!

i took him back, why? because all our situations are different, our marriage was stale, and that was both our faults, he admitted his mistake and i will have to learn to live with the fact he also made the choice to keep on making that mistake!!

i have often thought that it very well could have been me that ended up making that mistake/choice, but im so pleased that my morality prevailed.

morality- the differentiation of intentions, decisions, and actions between those that are good (or right) and those that are bad (or wrong)

affairs are not good and not right they are bad and wrong, the people who choose to enter into an affair whether it be the married person or the mistress have a choice, they also have morals, whether or not they choose to ignore those morals is another thing!

for me morality will always win!:)
fact- my husband had an affair fact- my husband had no morals and fact- he will have to live with that for the rest of his days, nuff said:)

Marisco

Lotus-eater wrote: »

I believe we have already spent 237 pages going over this.

This sums it up!! I think we'll just have to agree to disagree, otherwise we'll have another 237 pages of the same thing!!