Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

Lotus-eater

Taadaa wrote: »

There aren't many men married or not that would walk through hell to protect their life partner. Maybe if more men did, their wives wouldn't be off looking for something else :eek: you can't beat a bit of old fashioned lovin'

That's one of the silliest things I've read on this thread. A good percentage of men would die to protect their women and family, throughout history, countless men have died to protect them.
That has been the role of men, as the protector.

Now women want everything, want men to be the same as they were, but also be this new man.......... and it's !!!!!!! impossible. I give up :rotfl:

Taadaa

Lotus-eater wrote: »

That's one of the silliest things I've read on this thread. A good percentage of men would die to protect their women and family, throughout history, countless men have died to protect them.
That has been the role of men, as the protector.

Now women want everything, want men to be the same as they were, but also be this new man.......... and it's !!!!!!! impossible. I give up :rotfl:

That is your perception as a man, you cannot speak from experience.

Plenty of men spew forth such crap. Then they go back to watching the tv whilst the woman is holding their world together with one hand whilst rocking the baby to sleep with the other.

Taadaa

euronorris wrote: »

I have considered how hurtful simply ending the relationship is, but it is still a lot less painful than cheating on them too, IMO.

It's like adding insult to injury, rubbing salt into the wound.

Yes, you are probably right in most circumstances.

But....I am thinking of 'The End of the Affair' here - some people would rather keep their partner, cheating or not, than lose them altogether. We can only speak from our own experience and point of view.

Lotus-eater

Taadaa wrote: »

That is your perception as a man, you cannot speak from experience.

Plenty of men spew forth such crap. Then they go back to watching the tv whilst the woman is holding their world together with one hand whilst rocking the baby to sleep with the other.

What do you mean I can't speak from experience? I'm older than you are by the looks of it.
Rocking the baby is the womans job, or do you want men to be a protector and rock the baby, while you go out for the night necking shots with your mates.

Experience works two ways, so does perception.

euronorris

Taadaa wrote: »

:rotfl:

I said not many men

Actually, I think there are, they just don't act that way when they are with the wrong person.

I've dated some guys, who didn't really treat me bad, but didn't really put in any effort either. Yet, since we've split, they've moved on and found someone who they DO want to make that effort with, and would go out of their way to make their partner happy.

Taadaa

Lotus-eater wrote: »

What do you mean I can't speak from experience? I'm older than you are by the looks of it.
Rocking the baby is the womans job, or do you want men to be a protector and rock the baby, while you go out for the night necking shots with your mates.

Experience works two ways, so does perception.

Can you see me then?? Freaky!!

Rocking the baby is the woman's job. Rocking the baby is the woman's job? Now that is the silliest thing I have ever read, period.

Yes, sometimes I would expect the man to rock the baby while I go out and 'neck shots' as you put it. Because even the most saintly of mothers needs a break sometimes.

euronorris

Lotus-eater wrote: »

That's one of the silliest things I've read on this thread. A good percentage of men would die to protect their women and family, throughout history, countless men have died to protect them.
That has been the role of men, as the protector.

Now women want everything, want men to be the same as they were, but also be this new man.......... and it's !!!!!!! impossible. I give up :rotfl:

A friend's Dad recently died, after saving his wife when their boat capsized on holiday. He managed to get her out, but then got stuck himself. :(:(:(

Very sad, but shows that (at least some) men will protect their women, their families, even if it means they may die themselves.

When I spoke to OH about it, his reaction was that it was sad, but that he'd do the same thing. He feels it's his role to protect me in such situations.

One of the reasons he was so pleased with me taking up Qi Kwan Do too, as I am learning to protect myself in certain situations, so he feels he doesn't have to worry so much about the 'what if she gets attacked' scenarios.

I don't know why he worries about me so much. Maybe because he's brought up to think that way, maybe it's his genetics. It has absolutely nothing to do with my clumsiness and ability to hurt myself at least once a day around the house!

euronorris

Taadaa wrote: »

Yes, you are probably right in most circumstances.

But....I am thinking of 'The End of the Affair' here - some people would rather keep their partner, cheating or not, than lose them altogether. We can only speak from our own experience and point of view.

I thought we were talking about the 'if they are problems, discuss them, fix them and if not then leave, rather than cheat' issue?

Oh well.

I accept fully that some women will remain in the relationship, cheating partner or not, and vice versa. So long as they are aware of it, then fine, that's their choice.

euronorris

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Rocking the baby is the womans job, or do you want men to be a protector and rock the baby, while you go out for the night necking shots with your mates.

I don't think it's a womans job to rock the baby, anymore than it is the man's.

But, if I am honest, I would be quite content to stay at home bringing up baby and looking after house (if finances allowed), whilst OH went off to work.

TBH though, OH would also be quite happy to stay at home with baby, looking after the house, whilst I went off to work. I'd love for us to be in a position where that was possible, at least for a few months, just so that he can enjoy some precious one on one time too.

However, I would still expect him to help me out at times, and take over allowing me a break. Necking shots isn't my idea of fun, but enjoying a bottle or two of wine with friends, away from baby sick, nappies, crying etc, would be bliss I imagine!

lostinrates

euronorris wrote: »

A friend's Dad recently died, after saving his wife when their boat capsized on holiday. He managed to get her out, but then got stuck himself. :(:(:(

Very sad, but shows that (at least some) men will protect their women, their families, even if it means they may die themselves.

When I spoke to OH about it, his reaction was that it was sad, but that he'd do the same thing. He feels it's his role to protect me in such situations.

One of the reasons he was so pleased with me taking up Qi Kwan Do too, as I am learning to protect myself in certain situations, so he feels he doesn't have to worry so much about the 'what if she gets attacked' scenarios.

I don't know why he worries about me so much. Maybe because he's brought up to think that way, maybe it's his genetics. It has absolutely nothing to do with my clumsiness and ability to hurt myself at least once a day around the house!

I think mine would say much the same. The main reason he's not really enjoying current posting is he worries what would happen if I need help...he doesn't like not being able to ''get to me'' if I need him or want him. In fact, under the duress he's under right now I think he's opt for walking over coals rather than going to work :rotfl: Lots of women are very down on ''men'' as a sex, but I know some lovely genuine men, who I'm sure would go above and beyond for their partners and families.




In any case, I think PTN said she was seeing the guy tomorrow, and I wanted to wish her well, and say I hope...both because I think its right thing to do but also for her sake, his sake and the family's (in fact her familoy too) sake, that her resolve holds and that she gets some closure tomorrow and is able to move forward a little into the next stage. She's been in the midst of the peak of emotion over this split or not for some weeks, and it can't feel very pleasant.