Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

VestanPance

Welshwoofs wrote: »

Sorry but that's just rubbish. It may work for SOME people if they want it and work at it....but you can't just make two people love each other again or want to be with each other....and if they've talked, tried, even had bloody counseling and STILL don't want to continue then they should part.

If they have tried all avenues fair enough. Then again having an affair when trying or before trying any of those options is never going to allow anyone to enter the process with a clear head. That's like trying to go on a diet with a fridge full of chocolate cake.

Taadaa

VestanPance wrote: »

My ex attempted to get back with me months later "biggest mistake of my life blah blah blah" and I told her I never wanted to see her ever again. We'd talked over everything during our time together, as you do, and she knew my stance on this subject.

No longer happy. She never did expresss that, so all she needed to do was talk to me. In fact as my wife that's the least I'd have expected. She should have addressed any issues she had and if we couldn't resolve them then move on. In truth her head got turned by a bit of flattery, an early mid life crisis or such like.

Once she did what she did she was not the person I'd fallen head over heels in love with and would have walked through hell to love and protect.

Vestanpance, that is very sad. genuinely. As she was capable of that perhaps she was never the person you thought she was.

Sometimes people do try to address these issues with their partner, to no avail (not commenting on your situ). Sometimes it's not fixable. A work colleague had an affair with another colleague after he found something out about his wife that meant he would never have married her in the first place (dunno what, would love to know :rotfl:), they left their partners and are the cutest most loved up couple ever. They were meant to be.

There aren't many men married or not that would walk through hell to protect their life partner. Maybe if more men did, their wives wouldn't be off looking for something else :eek: you can't beat a bit of old fashioned lovin'

VestanPance

Welshwoofs wrote: »

....and if you split up you'd still continue to have an obligation to the child, even when you had no further obligations to each other. So again, NOT the same situation at all.

Actually there is no obligation to the child at all. Otherwise people wouldn't be able to give a child away for adoption.

The obligation you refer to is self imposed, just like her obligation to her husband. You may not agree with that obligation to her marraige, but in both circumstances the obligation is taken on by the person it is not imposed.

FOX_HOUND

Taadaa wrote: »

Vestanpance, that is very sad. genuinely. As she was capable of that perhaps she was never the person you thought she was.

Sometimes people do try to address these issues with their partner, to no avail (not commenting on your situ). Sometimes it's not fixable. A work colleague had an affair with another colleague after he found something out about his wife that meant he would never have married her in the first place (dunno what, would love to know :rotfl:), they left their partners and are the cutest most loved up couple ever. They were meant to be.

There aren't many men married or not that would walk through hell to protect their life partner. Maybe if more men did, their wives wouldn't be off looking for something else :eek: you can't beat a bit of old fashioned lovin'

What? I'd walk over hot coals for mine!











but only when wearing heat proof boots!!

nickyhutch

VestanPance wrote: »

Actually there is no obligation to the child at all. Otherwise people wouldn't be able to give a child away for adoption.

The obligation you refer to is self imposed, just like her obligation to her husband. You may not agree with that obligation to her marraige, but in both circumstances the obligation is taken on by the person it is not imposed.

What? Have you heard of the CSA?

Taadaa

FOX_HOUND wrote: »

What? I'd walk over hot coals for mine!












but only when wearing heat proof boots!!

:rotfl:

I said not many men

VestanPance

nickyhutch wrote: »

What? Have you heard of the CSA?

That's a financial obligation. I'm pretty certain WelshWoofs was thinking of more than that as important as it is.

Plus remember it's not so long ago that a man would have been expected to have a similar financial obligation to his ex-wife in the case of divorce kids or not.

neverdespairgirl

I asked OH if he would walk over hot coals for me. His reply was, "that would be a pretty pointless thing to do, wouldn't it? But I'd rush into a burning building to grab you, if you were foolish enough to get stuck in one".

I'll take that (-:

northerner77

Question for PTN: did your parents have a long successful affair-free marriage? Same question please to your bloke.


Also, at what age did your bloke marry his missus?

euronorris

Taadaa wrote: »

I think this is an excellent point that has not been raised before. Quite a few people have said they should end the relationship (and have disregarded all arguments for it not being possible), but no one has considered how hurtful that is, as well. Perhaps the answer is to spend the one life you have being miserable in order to avoid hurting anyone else.

I have considered how hurtful simply ending the relationship is, but it is still a lot less painful than cheating on them too, IMO.

It's like adding insult to injury, rubbing salt into the wound.