Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

nickyhutch

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

This one? :rotfl:



That's not what was being said, I think the point was one about the difference between "dating" and married commitment which does involve some less glamorous tasks done as part of a team.

But those less glamorous tasks are already being done while you're a single mistress, so it's not exactly news that shirts will need washing and ironing and shopping done.

FWIW I don't iron or wash or shop any more than OH. He, I and DS all pitch in in our house (Execpt for the stepkids). I do cook, because I love cooking.

basketcase

Pollycat wrote: »

Didn't Diana say 'There are 3 people in this marriage'?

This always makes me think of the Spitting Image sketch with Di, chas and Camilla in bed. Di says "There were 3 people in that marriage".

Then James What-his-Name pops up "There were 4 people in that marriage".

Then the Rugby star pops up "There were 5 people in that marriage".

etc

A classic, if somewhat cruel, sketch...:rotfl:

Pollycat

nickyhutch wrote: »

WHy the rolling eyes? If you interpreted my comments the way you did, then you did misunderstand me.

I read the words you wrote.

If that is mis-understanding you, then indeeed - I must have misunderstood you.

whitewing

Better than 'my wife doesn't understand me'. I'm sure that's been said a few times, lol.

nickyhutch

Pollycat wrote: »

I read the words you wrote.

If that is mis-understanding you, then indeeed - I must have misunderstood you.

I think we do more than read. We have to in interpret, too, and in this case, I think you've misinterpreted me, or I haven't been clear. Probably the latter.

Lotus-eater

whitewing wrote: »

Better than 'my wife doesn't understand me'. I'm sure that's been said a few times, lol.

My wife understands me only too well :rotfl:

Welshwoofs

catkins wrote: »

I guess I belong to the "moral minority" which I am certainly not ashamed of. I find it sad that so many people do not think affairs are wrong

I don't subscribe to 'right' or 'wrong' - it's too simplistic. I prefer to think of reasons for doing it in terms of 'understandable' or 'not so understandable'

I'd expect everyone here would agree that the most preferred course of action if your marriage is dead would be to end it before moving on. However sometimes the practicalities of life get in the way; you may not be able to afford to leave then and there, you may have had legal advice not to leave then and there, your spouse may plead with you to stay and try again, you may just be scared to death of the fall-out (and fear/cowardice are human qualities we all suffer from at times), you may regret the affair and want to end it but don't know how. Then there's all the other reasons - perhaps your spouse is mentally or physically abusive and an affair is escapism, may be you're suffering from a mental illness yourself, may be you thought your marriage was ok but you meet someone else who makes you realise that you'd 'settled for second best' in the first place. Of course there's also the reason that you're simply bored of screwing your wife and fancy a leg-over elsewhere (one of the not understandable reasons.)

I've encouraged someone to have an affair before - my Mother. The last 5 years of my Step-Father's life were spent in a nursing home because he had Altzheimer's. He was basically already dead; at least everything he'd ever been had long gone. My Mother was miserable, lonely and missing companionship so I signed her up to a dating site and within a few weeks she met a lovely chap. They're very happy...so that was an affair that worked out well and had perfectly understandable reasons for being conducted in the first place.

In short, these situations are waaayyy too complex to give a blanket condemnation (or blessing) on in my view.

Welshwoofs

Pollycat wrote: »

But Welshwoofs does have a tendency to take comments out of context when quoting them.

Do I? Oh well I'll bow to your superior knowledge of my posting style as it would seem you've had the time and inclination to read through nearly 4 years of my postings. I wish I could say I had a reciprocal interest.

I do however, find it of passing interest that anyone who shows less than 100% condemnation of PTN comes under attack by some on this board. Luckily I find the strangest things utterly amusing

Pollycat

Welshwoofs wrote: »

Do I? Oh well I'll bow to your superior knowledge of my posting style as it would seem you've had the time and inclination to read through nearly 4 years of my postings. I wish I could say I had a reciprocal interest.

I'm basing my observation on your replies to a number of my posts on this thread, plus your replies to other posters on this thread.

You've obviously missed the point I was trying to make when replying to post #4311 so here it is - you pluck a sentence out of a post and comment on it.
That often means you're taking what has been said totally out of context.

Welshwoofs wrote: »

I do however, find it of passing interest that anyone who shows less than 100% condemnation of PTN comes under attack by some on this board. Luckily I find the strangest things utterly amusing

Under attack?
Don't be so melodramatic. :rotfl:

VestanPance

Welshwoofs wrote: »

I don't subscribe to 'right' or 'wrong' - it's too simplistic. I prefer to think of reasons for doing it in terms of 'understandable' or 'not so understandable'

I'd expect everyone here would agree that the most preferred course of action if your marriage is dead would be to end it before moving on. However sometimes the practicalities of life get in the way; you may not be able to afford to leave then and there, you may have had legal advice not to leave then and there, your spouse may plead with you to stay and try again, you may just be scared to death of the fall-out (and fear/cowardice are human qualities we all suffer from at times), you may regret the affair and want to end it but don't know how. Then there's all the other reasons - perhaps your spouse is mentally or physically abusive and an affair is escapism, may be you're suffering from a mental illness yourself, may be you thought your marriage was ok but you meet someone else who makes you realise that you'd 'settled for second best' in the first place. Of course there's also the reason that you're simply bored of screwing your wife and fancy a leg-over elsewhere (one of the not understandable reasons.)

I've encouraged someone to have an affair before - my Mother. The last 5 years of my Step-Father's life were spent in a nursing home because he had Altzheimer's. He was basically already dead; at least everything he'd ever been had long gone. My Mother was miserable, lonely and missing companionship so I signed her up to a dating site and within a few weeks she met a lovely chap. They're very happy...so that was an affair that worked out well and had perfectly understandable reasons for being conducted in the first place.

In short, these situations are waaayyy too complex to give a blanket condemnation (or blessing) on in my view.

All of those are wrong. It is that simple.

You don't subscribe to right or wrong. What about for rape, assault, murder etc? Is there understandable rape?