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Can an affair ever have a happy ending?
Comments
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gratefulforhelp wrote: »Do you have your own children with him?
It's (apparently, and statistics again) quite rare for men to leave a marriage unless for a new relationship.
Much more common for women to leave without having someone else on the go.
No children, why?
Yes, I can believe that.******** Never be a spectator of unfairness or stupidity *******"Always be calm and polite, and have the materials to make a bomb"0 -
clearingout wrote: »However, a 'nice woman' would not stand by a man who is persecuting his ex, she wouldn't stand by and watch the roof disappear from over his children's heads whilst she is enjoying the benefit of a hot tub paid for by her lover in the back garden, she wouldn't shout obscenities, laugh in someone's face, hit small children, or support a man who refuses to pay child maintenance to his children.
ever stand by a man who refused point blank to financially support his children and I don't think I would need to treat the wife in the way I was treated/continue to be treated by my ex's girlfriend. Being the 'other woman' is not an excuse for poor behaviour, rudeness, anger, and abuse. This behaviour is very much an indicator of poor self-esteem and is behaviour present in all too many mistresses/other women.
Can I just point out that not all mistresses are like that, and that some "normal" women can be like that too. It's not being a mistress that makes you like that, it's just what you're like anyway.
For the record, my OH gave his ex his share in their house and has always paid maintenance, and has always seen his children. The times where it was hard work (ex using the children to get at OH), I made very sure he didn't just give in, and back down just to keep her quiet.******** Never be a spectator of unfairness or stupidity *******"Always be calm and polite, and have the materials to make a bomb"0 -
Let me correct you he gave the children their home and I commend him for that. Too many men just want money for their new lives while the children end up with nothing. In the long run the kids lose out not the parents.mortgage free by christmas 2014 owed £5,000, jan 2014 £4,170, £4,060, feb £3,818 march £3,399 30% of the way there woohoo
If you don't think you can go on look back and see how far you've come0 -
nickyhutch wrote: »The times where it was hard work (ex using the children to get at OH), I made very sure he didn't just give in, and back down just to keep her quiet.
while in this case I think it was admirable: no one should use children as pawns, it does rather go against the ''its not something the OW does to the wife but rather the husband'' argument.0 -
princessdreamer wrote: »Let me correct you he gave the children their home and I commend him for that. Too many men just want money for their new lives while the children end up with nothing. In the long run the kids lose out not the parents.
He signed the house over to his wife, because it was the right thing to do. It's their home as long as they want to live there and as long as she is happy to have them there. Whether it will pass to them is entirely up to her.
Too many men leave their children with nothing? Do you mean your ex did, and you just assume every other cheating man does? Or do you have some statistics?******** Never be a spectator of unfairness or stupidity *******"Always be calm and polite, and have the materials to make a bomb"0 -
lostinrates wrote: »while in this case I think it was admirable: no one should use children as pawns, it does rather go against the ''its not something the OW does to the wife but rather the husband'' argument.
I'm not sure I follow. What was admirable?******** Never be a spectator of unfairness or stupidity *******"Always be calm and polite, and have the materials to make a bomb"0 -
nickyhutch wrote: »He signed the house over to his wife, because it was the right thing to do. It's their home as long as they want to live there and as long as she is happy to have them there. Whether it will pass to them is entirely up to her.
Too many men leave their children with nothing? Do you mean your ex did, and you just assume every other cheating man does? Or do you have some statistics?
It will pass to the children in most cases, it is a secure place for them to return to and so on. Children do not hit 18 and stop needing a home.
Have I been left with nothing no I have my children unlike him he has nothing oh apart from the car lol. Statistics on winning the family home are very hard to come by as I've found most cases do not reach final judgement one or other party backs down.mortgage free by christmas 2014 owed £5,000, jan 2014 £4,170, £4,060, feb £3,818 march £3,399 30% of the way there woohoo
If you don't think you can go on look back and see how far you've come0 -
I agree with your post although I am confused as to why you have quoted me before sending it?A wife and an ex wife are two very different things. A wife who puts up with a cheating husband in full knowledge of his affair is someone, I agree, with 'issues'. A mistress, who knows she is a mistress (I accept not all necessarily do), is exactly the same as a wife who stays with the husband she knows is cheating. It is the other side of the same coin. An ex wife may well hold onto her husband for longer than she should, but that is out of longing for what she signed up to on her wedding day. This is distinct from low self esteem, in my opinion at least.However, a 'nice woman' would not stand by a man who is persecuting his ex, she wouldn't stand by and watch the roof disappear from over his children's heads whilst she is enjoying the benefit of a hot tub paid for by her lover in the back garden, she wouldn't shout obscenities, laugh in someone's face, hit small children, or support a man who refuses to pay child maintenance to his children.The most potent weapon of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed. Steve Biko0
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nickyhutch wrote: »The responsibility for the wife's happiness does not lie with a mistress. It's her own, and her husband's responsibility. I'm a wife. If my OH had an affair I'd blame him and look at what (if anything) about me and our relationship made him do it. I wouldn't blame the mistress at all. Why would it it her fault that my OH cheated on me? If he cheated with her because he loved her, that's not her fault. If he cheated with her because he was handy and available, that says more about him than it does about her.
And stop banging on about the "perfect". I never said that.
Because women are devious manipulative little biatches. As every woman knows. A wife, mistress, daughter, mother etc can manipulate the !!!!! out of any situation to get what they want.
A woman, be it fat, thin, beautiful or dog ruff can get their hooks into any man if they really want to. A womans skill in life is to manipulate a man. So when an affair is involved, yes the man is at fault, and any wife should either rip their husband a new one or divorce their sorry !!!!. But I bet my bottom dollar that the other woman formed the shape of the affair.99.9% of my posts include sarcasm!Touch my bum :money:Tesco - £1000 , Carpet - £20, Barclaycard - £50, HSBC - £50 + Car - £1700SAVED =£0Debts - £28500 -
Because women are devious manipulative little biatches. As every woman knows. A wife, mistress, daughter, mother etc can manipulate the !!!!! out of any situation to get what they want.
A woman, be it fat, thin, beautiful or dog ruff can get their hooks into any man if they really want to. A womans skill in life is to manipulate a man. So when an affair is involved, yes the man is at fault, and any wife should either rip their husband a new one or divorce their sorry !!!!. But I bet my bottom dollar that the other woman formed the shape of the affair.
Well, I'm sure you know already that I'm not going to agree with that.
"women are devious, manipulative little biatches" - what, all of them? really?******** Never be a spectator of unfairness or stupidity *******"Always be calm and polite, and have the materials to make a bomb"0
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