Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

VestanPance

nickyhutch wrote: »

In your opinion. You do get that it's an opinion, don't you? Not a universal truth? The fact that some people don't agree must surely indicate that to you?

It's not opinion. It's fact.

The fact people want to us excuses to defend their behavoiur isn't my problem.

Bubby

purpletoenails wrote: »

Another poster with a vivid imagination.

And just out of interest, how would you know if they were?

If I was the innocent wife at home then obviously I wouldn't however you are in the position of knowing he is having sex with his wife also.

nickyhutch wrote: »

Why is someone who likes a lot of sex (or as you so delicately put it "likes to dip into everything else") not worth as much as you?

Because I don't believe in "sharing" my partners, if someone wanted someone else then so be it but I have more self respect than to have someone elses leftovers. Do you believe that someone having sex with their "partner" or "mm" knowing they are still having sex with their wife has self respect?

nickyhutch

Bubby wrote: »

Because I don't believe in "sharing" my partners, if someone wanted someone else then so be it but I have more self respect than to have someone elses leftovers. Do you believe that someone having sex with their "partner" or "mm" knowing they are still having sex with their wife has self respect?

I did, and I had/have self-respect. I accept that I have a more broadminded attitude to sex than some, but I don't accept that that means I don't respect myself.

Taadaa

VestanPance wrote: »

Aspects mean nothing. It's wrong, simple as. There are no grey areas.

If they are unhappy with the realtionship work to resolve that or break up prior to starting a new one.

It's not that simple when your financial freedom depends on it, and when you have built up a life together. There are alot of grey areas!

essexgirly

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Does she? The main thing that comes across lately, is that all the women that have had affairs seem to be saying that they were doing the man and his marriage a favour.

I must add, I was saying that very tongue in cheek (although I'm sure thats what a lot of posters seem to think of PTN). For the record, I do not.

And also, I don't remember reading anywhere anybody saying that they were doing the man and his marriage favours... Please correct me if I'm wrong

VestanPance

Taadaa wrote: »

It's not that simple when your financial freedom depends on it, and when you have built up a life together. There are alot of grey areas!

No there are no grey areas.

You make your choice. Work to save the relationship, or break it off no matter how that will impact you in terms of money, lifestyle etc.

Bubby

nickyhutch wrote: »

I did, and I had/have self-respect. I accept that I have a more broadminded attitude to sex than some, but I don't accept that that means I don't respect myself.

Did you never wonder why he was sleeping with his wife when he claimed to love you instead?

essexgirly

VestanPance wrote: »

No there are no grey areas.

You make your choice. Work to save the relationship, or break it off no matter how that will impact you in terms of money, lifestyle etc.

Oh please, get real and get over yourself.

One day you will realise that it takes so much energy to be bitter. Life really is too short.

Taadaa

Look Vestanpance (I certainly hope you aren't sitting there in them :eek: ), we will have to agree to disagree. Would you really end a relationship knowing that it would break your child's heart and possibly make them homeless? I think not.

essexgirly - I dunno....do you remember the Friends episode when Joey found out his dad was having an affair and told him to end it, and his mum was really upset because she got time to herself and he was always in a good mood when he came home?? :rotfl:

We should all make our own rules when it comes to relationships, and not live by what we think we should do. I'm not condoning someone being kept in the dark by that statement - 'rules' *should* be a joint decision. But it's not always possible, and I wouldn't dream of judging someone else when we can never know how that person feels.

VestanPance

essexgirly wrote: »

Oh please, get real and get over yourself.

One day you will realise that it takes so much energy to be bitter. Life really is too short.

What bitterness? I've held this opinion on this subject for my entire life and will continue to do so. There is no excuse, people can control their actions even when it includes passion or love.

It's an honest debate on the subject. People are in full control over their actions. Words mean nothing, actions mean everything. If you don't want to be called on the immoral and evil actions then don't do them.