Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

gratefulforhelp_2

absolutebounder wrote: »

I was just wondering if an affair can have a happy beginning

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

1sttimer_2

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

I thought it was funny . Lightened the atmosphere anyway!

I'm still quietly bemused as to how anyone has an "online affair" that can be described as such. It all sounds rather tame, and presumably rather frustrating!

My OH had an 'online affair', they didn't have s*x in the flesh, but through skype & webcam. Even though you think it sounds tame it still hurt to know he had strayed. It was the emotional betrayal that hurt more than their acting out of the s*x.

They did arrange to meet up, but according to the OW it didn't work out and it would have been a difficult one to sustain seeing as one was in London and the other in Yorkshire! He, of course, initially denied they met - but hey ho, it was 6 years ago and the hurt has ceased now and we have worked through it to mend our marriage. So yes I could imagine it would have been rather frustrating, but they found a way of getting through that - thanks to modern technology!

Errata

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

I thought it was funny . Lightened the atmosphere anyway!

I'm still quietly bemused as to how anyone has an "online affair" that can be described as such. It all sounds rather tame, and presumably rather frustrating!

It's pretty much the same as two dumb farm animals rutting in a field - unemotional, and in humans squalid.

starsandmoon

I joined a dating website and got a nice email off someone. Hapened to mention about who was in the background of their picture. "My wife" was the response :eek: Turns out they had an account with this site and were actively looking for someone to have an affair with. I blocked them but that poor woman married to him.

1sttimer_2

I've been following this thread and I think I can understand where PTN is coming from - not that agree with what has been done - but because it happened so slowly and even though she knew he was a married man, events took over - so so speak.

If you enjoy someone's company and they make you feel good, and you are friends, then why not stay in touch? I don't believe that when they started out they actually knew they were setting out on an affair. My OH has many lady friends - actual friends, not lovers - who he can chat away to and have fun with. I wouldn't like to say they would never ever get together, but he meets these people on a regular basis through sport and as I don't belong to this group, he has a rapport with them that he doesn't get with me.

If, for some reason, it went a step closer and they slowly realised that they were falling in love and on one occasion they made love, it could seem that it was just fate that had intervened and I wouldn't have a clue. If, as in PTN case, they didn't meet all that often, but when the did they had a good time, not necessarily needing s*x, just the company, then it might not feel like an affair.

I know I'm going to be shot down, because they both know he's married and that once they had crossed the line of having s*x, they then declared that it was a definite affair and not just a good friendship anymore.

It could be that he is being honest when he says his home life is not great - but that is his problem because he's not approached his wife to see how that can be changed. I agree with posters who say he's weak not to do that and is happy to continue to go along the 'family' route as well as having his good friend in PTN to talk to.

In the end, I don't believe it will have a happy ending for anyone. If he stays with his wife PTN will be unhappy, if he chooses PTN, his wife will be unhappy. Plus all the extended family friends who may side with his wife (who knows what they feel - the marriage may be a sham and they think he's a saint for staying with her?).

So PTN, I hope you will be able to move on in your life with whatever outcome of this affair. Put it all down to life experience and in time who knows, someone else may appear on the scene and turn out to be 'The One' and is available without any strings.

nickyhutch

1sttimer - I'm genuinely intersted, so this isn't a dig, but why do you say s*x rather than use the proper word - sex?

bonnie_bumpkins

starsandmoon wrote: »

I joined a dating website and got a nice email off someone. Hapened to mention about who was in the background of their picture. "My wife" was the response :eek: Turns out they had an account with this site and were actively looking for someone to have an affair with. I blocked them but that poor woman married to him.

I've had similar experiences on dating websites. I don't subscribe any more!!

I had a big run in with one major dating site when I reported one man who openly admitted he was married but just wanted some 'fun'. His picture was of him in the mirror, all but naked :eek: They said the site was for over 18 yr old consenting adults. Fair enough BUT my point was it is not 'dating' and was not appropriate on a 'dating' site. There are other sites out there for what this man was looking for. Needless to say my arguments fell on deaf ears. ho hum.

Now I just smile at men in supermarkets :rotfl:

Sorry PTN, veered off topic again

FatVonD

Kulafey wrote: »

Just wanted to add my experience - Me and my OH met on holiday, we were both married to other people and lived 5000 miles apart.There was an instant, strong attraction and we started an internet "friendship" and met up twice over the next 6 months. Then, for various reasons we broke it off - mainly because I didn't believe he would leave his wife, he couldn't see how the practicalites would work - him in Canada, me in the Uk etc. I also went a little loopy - phoning him late at night drunk and crying etc ( how embarrassing). I was so sure that if he split with his wife he would be with me that I sent her pictures of us together, chat logs of conversations we had, copies of hotel reservations etc.
It didn't work, he broke off all contact with me as he was so angry, and she forgave him and they stayed together.

Why did you feel the need to provide proof, was it because you thought he'd lie/she wouldn't believe you or just to stick the knife in because you hated him choosing to be with her?

I've never understood wives who heap most of their anger on the other woman (and not their cheating husband) but I understand even less the other woman hating the wife.

victory

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I have just caught up with this thread after a few days and must admit I was shocked by one post.(and by the fact that the poster stated they would do it all again!).

It got me thinking.

People having affairs are taking huge risks in one way or another, as even if they finish the affair, how do they know that it will not come back to bite them and that the other person will not tell all out of spite or desperation.

This so reminds me of my friend years ago, never knew a thing about her husband having an affair until one night she went round to another friends house and they put on their wedding video, there in the background was her husband with another woman, having attended the wedding together:eek: they divorced, all friends stopped being friendly because of it, it was chaos and the affair had been 3 years before that so yes it does come back:D

jclm_2

my advice would be to leave him. that would free up your time to meet other - better - people. i was in this situation once and i really regret it. good luck xxx