Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

Bogof_Babe

absolutebounder wrote: »

I was just wondering if an affair can have a happy beginning

Goes without saying I'd think. Wouldn't be much point if you met someone and they made you bl00dy miserable so you decided to have an affair with them :rotfl:.

However I'm falling into the off topic trap myself now . Sorry PTN.

lostinrates

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

Goes without saying I'd think. Wouldn't be much point if you met someone and they made you bl00dy miserable so you decided to have an affair with them :rotfl:.

However I'm falling into the off topic trap myself now . Sorry PTN.

I am NOT referring to PTN, because I don't feel enough of ''her'' is revealed to state this, but for some I've known of I think the ''angst'' of it is part of it. A sort of created dilemma or ''excuse'' (not quite what I mean but can't think of more apt word) for why they can't progress/life isn't right or whatever. The drama/angst/defiant fight is part of it.

I have wondered in this epic the O/T, which are still relevant after all must be a sort of releif from personal onslaught.

erdd2

absolutebounder wrote: »

I was just wondering if an affair can have a happy beginning

Really? :eek::eek::eek:

Bogof_Babe

lostinrates wrote: »

I am NOT referring to PTN, because I don't feel enough of ''her'' is revealed to state this, but for some I've known of I think the ''angst'' of it is part of it. A sort of created dilemma or ''excuse'' (not quite what I mean but can't think of more apt word) for why they can't progress/life isn't right or whatever. The drama/angst/defiant fight is part of it.

I have wondered in this epic the O/T, which are still relevant after all must be a sort of releif from personal onslaught.

You mean the star crossed lovers, Romeo & Juliet sort of thing? Yes I'm sure there is an element of that, because otherwise the bubble would burst and it would be just like being with your original wife/husband. Better the devil you know, which is often how these things end up anyway. Much heartache on all sides then back to "as you were".

Bogof_Babe

It's variety dear. They do say it's the spice of life .

absolutebounder

erdd2 wrote: »

Really? :eek::eek::eek:

I was just wondering if an affair doesnt often end happily, how often does it really start happily.

Bogof_Babe

absolutebounder wrote: »

I was just wondering if an affair doesnt often end happily, how often does it really start happily.

I imagine at the start the two newly connected lovers are in raptures over eachother, so happy, and the betrayed wife/husband/children don't know anything has changed, so they are happy too.

That lasts until the lovers get stressed by all the secrecy, the betrayed family members get an inkling that something isn't right, and bingo we are back on this thread topic.

neverdespairgirl

Kulafey wrote: »

I also went a little loopy - phoning him late at night drunk and crying etc ( how embarrassing). I was so sure that if he split with his wife he would be with me that I sent her pictures of us together, chat logs of conversations we had, copies of hotel reservations etc.
It didn't work, he broke off all contact with me as he was so angry, and she forgave him and they stayed together.

Classy! What a nasty, cruel thing to do.

I think the cheated-on spouse has a right to know, but sending all those details is just wrong.

And you didn't look at all desparate - after all, he'd already made it clear to you he was staying with his wife, you were just hoping he'd make you his second choice if his marriage ended.

Kulafey wrote: »

J
I'm sure many will judge me and I admit, my behaviour left a lot to be desired, but would I do it again? Absolutely I would - I was meant to be with this guy and I knew it the second we met. The only thing we both regret is the wasted 2 years - we would have loved more children, but as I'm 41, we're pushing it - those 2 yeras would have allowed us more time together, before the rush to have babies before it was too late.

You have 7 children, another poster said? In times of exploding populations, thank goodness you didn't meet him earlier!

Kulafey wrote: »

Do I worry he will do the same to me? - Not really, no. we both know what we're capable of doing, but we know why we did it and hopefully can avoid the same patterns. I also wouldn't give him the same opportunities to cheat!! lol (when we met, he was on holiday with a friend, on a carribean island, with unlimited free booze - his wife didn't want to go...what was she THINKING??) But seriously, I don't think he would and I know I would never cheat on him. We were made for each other and its just a shame that people got hurt and the situation was so complicated. But in the end, it worked out fine.

I don't know - the daft cow probably trusted him, or something.

When you say, "people got hurt", I think you mean, "we hurt people (including, in my case, over and above the actual affair)"

erdd2

absolutebounder wrote: »

I was just wondering if an affair doesnt often end happily, how often does it really start happily.

The question posed turned upside down!

POPPYOSCAR

I have just caught up with this thread after a few days and must admit I was shocked by one post.(and by the fact that the poster stated they would do it all again!).

It got me thinking.

People having affairs are taking huge risks in one way or another, as even if they finish the affair, how do they know that it will not come back to bite them and that the other person will not tell all out of spite or desperation.