Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

CH27

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

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Yes, I am aware of that although not sure if they still do that.

But I think anyone contemplating marriage should have to by law attend a civil type class aimed at ensuring they understand the 'contract' they are entering into.

Far too many marriages seem to me to be about 'the day' and little else.Who can have the best venue, nicest dress and biggest party etc!

Definately!
All wedding day & no thought to the actual marriage.

Bogof_Babe

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Thanks Bogof babe.

Yes, aware of those ones.

But does it actually say anything about other relationships etc?

By implication it makes other sexual relationships invalid in the eyes of the law. This is why adultery used to be grounds for a divorce. I know the actual term isn't used in divorce proceedings nowadays, but if a spouse cites adultery as the reason for the irretrievable breakdown of their marriage, it will generally be accepted as due grounds to dissolve the marriage. I doubt a couple would be instructed to "get over it" and have a divorce petition refused!

Lotus-eater

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

Bit of an oxymoron there?

Not really, blokes that you think are honest, but that have affairs.
Or do you think everyone who you think is honest has never had an affair?
The world doesn't work like that.

Bogof_Babe

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Not really, blokes that you think are honest, but that have affairs.
Or do you think everyone who you think is honest has never had an affair?
The world doesn't work like that.

Actually I don't think many people (if any at all) are truly honest. It's ooman nature innit?

POPPYOSCAR

[QUOTE=Bogof_Babe;45645242]By implication it makes other sexual relationships invalid in the eyes of the law. This is why adultery used to be grounds for a divorce. I know the actual term isn't used in divorce proceedings nowadays, but if a spouse cites adultery as the reason for the irretrievable breakdown of their marriage, it will generally be accepted as due grounds to dissolve the marriage. I doubt a couple would be instructed to "get over it" and have a divorce petition refused![/QUOTE]


I don't think implication is enough. It needs to be spelled out IMO.

It is far too easy to get married without giving it real thought.

As I said before , I think people should be made to think about it fully
by the state before being allowed anywhere near a church/registry office etc. and then perhaps some might take the vows more seriously.(We can live in hope!)

Bogof_Babe

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I don't think implication is enough. It needs to be spelled out IMO.

It is far too easy to get married without giving it real thought.

As I said before , I think people should be made to think about it fully
by the state before being allowed anywhere near a church/registry office etc. and then perhaps some might take the vows more seriously.(We can live in hope!)

I can't believe anyone, however dense, goes into marriage not knowing that they are meant to be faithful to the person they are marrying. I accept they probably take a "only while it suits me" attitude, but they do at least understand the principle? If not then we are further down the slippery slope than I thought.

I can't remember the wording of the civil ceremony (although I had one, but that was 37 years ago!), but the church one definitely includes "forsaking all others".

A lot of people don't see the point of marriage, and think it is outdated - that's their prerogative, but for those who do take the plunge they might at least pay lip service to what is supposed to be a solemn commitment to monogamy.

POPPYOSCAR

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

I can't believe anyone, however dense, goes into marriage not knowing that they are meant to be faithful to the person they are marrying. I accept they probably take a "only while it suits me" attitude, but they do at least understand the principle? If not then we are further down the slippery slope than I thought.

I can't remember the wording of the civil ceremony (although I had one, but that was 37 years ago!), but the church one definitely includes "forsaking all others".

A lot of people don't see the point of marriage, and think it is outdated - that's their prerogative, but for those who do take the plunge they might at least pay lip service to what is supposed to be a solemn commitment to monogamy.

But it is exactly that attitude that needs to be addressed.

I think more people than you would realize get married on a whim.The girl wants the big day, the dress etc. and he gets swept up by it all.I doubt, as I have said, that they have really thought it through as perhaps they should be made to do.

Out of the last five weddings we have been to, three are now divorced.

Bogof_Babe

Oh undoubtedly I agree that there is too much fuss and flimflam about the wedding day. It sickens me to read about people spending upwards of £20,000 on ONE DAY :eek:.

But I still say that even if they do just want a ruddy great party and to walk around in a meringue for 12 hours, they must have been living in an otherwise uninhabited jungle all their lives if they haven't grasped that there is the teensy matter of having some sort of exclusivity in their post-marriage relationship.

Is it really necessary to include "what marriage means" in the Year 11 curriculum nowadays?

I'm enjoying this chat but wondering where everyone else has got to. Have we driven them away? :rotfl:

POPPYOSCAR

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

Oh undoubtedly I agree that there is too much fuss and flimflam about the wedding day. It sickens me to read about people spending upwards of £20,000 on ONE DAY :eek:.

But I still say that even if they do just want a ruddy great party and to walk around in a meringue for 12 hours, they must have been living in an otherwise uninhabited jungle all their lives if they haven't grasped that there is the teensy matter of having some sort of exclusivity in their post-marriage relationship.

Is it really necessary to include "what marriage means" in the Year 11 curriculum nowadays?

I'm enjoying this chat but wondering where everyone else has got to. Have we driven them away? :rotfl:

Actually that might not be such a bad idea!! It does seem to have got lost somewhere along the way!.


(Looks like we might have done!!):)

neverdespairgirl

purpletoenails wrote: »

I have been having a relationship with a married man for some time now and I'm starting to get fed up with the situation and wonder if this is all it's ever going to be. How likely is it that a married man would leave his wife for the 'other woman', How do I know if he's serious about me or just toying with me? I know he does love me, but that's not always enough is it?

I am really torn at the moment whether to let things carry on, or to walk away.

Well, you know for sure that he's a cheat, selfish, and a liar. And he's happy for that situation to continue, because it's most unlikely that he's telling his wife he's off for a quick one.

Why would he leave? And even if he did, how could you ever trust him? If he'll cheat with you, why wouldn't he cheat on you?