Is my husband an alcoholic?

CH27

InsertWittyName wrote: »

As someone with alcohol dependency issues I just wanted to drop by and say my heart goes out to all of you in this thread who are dealing with an alcoholic partner.

I won't go into too much detail about my own demons, but I'm a 'closet' alcoholic - I only drink on a night, never get hammered or black out, I would never drink drive and my partner is very supportive. I am really trying to (safely) wean myself off alcohol.

I am dependent on alcohol, but not as much as my family is dependent on me.

My mother was an alcoholic. Luckily my father did what any parent should do and threw my mother out when it all became too much. For a single man to get sole custody of a child 25 years ago was virtually unheard of, but he managed it.

My mother said she would change her ways, but she never did and she died an alcoholic.

I am eternally grateful to my father for what he did for me by throwing her out.

I hope you don't mind me asking but do you think your alcoholism is genetic or a learned behaviour from your mum?
Or do you think your problem is totally unrelated to your mum's?

gratefulforhelp_2

potnoodle wrote: »

well jw1096, i read that, he sat down, asked what was up, and i did it, did the half a second grow some balls move and it is kind of sorted, we will separate but stay living together. thankyou, i needed that

Wow. Brave you.

InsertWittyName

gratefulforhelp: I do yes, I would never drive if I considered myself still drunk the morning after. The first drink is the main problem, I'm not the type of person that can have one drink then stop, although I'm sure the 7 drinks after it don't help

CH27: I don't think it's learned behaviour but I think there is some thinking to be had on the genetic side, ie. I was perhaps pre-disposed with an addictive personality. My problem took a long time to come about, I was a social drinker only for a long time and the social occasions increased with a new group of friends and it kind of escalated from there.

I dislike the label of 'alcoholic', probably due to the stereotypical drink in the morning, shaking, get hammered image it conjures up as that's not me. I have an alcohol dependency in my mind and that makes it easier for me to deal with

Kay_Peel

Well done PotNoodle. I hope you get those debts paid off so that you and your children can find some peace of mind soon.

CH27

InsertWittyName wrote: »

gratefulforhelp: I do yes, I would never drive if I considered myself still drunk the morning after. The first drink is the main problem, I'm not the type of person that can have one drink then stop, although I'm sure the 7 drinks after it don't help

CH27: I don't think it's learned behaviour but I think there is some thinking to be had on the genetic side, ie. I was perhaps pre-disposed with an addictive personality. My problem took a long time to come about, I was a social drinker only for a long time and the social occasions increased with a new group of friends and it kind of escalated from there.

I dislike the label of 'alcoholic', probably due to the stereotypical drink in the morning, shaking, get hammered image it conjures up as that's not me. I have an alcohol dependency in my mind and that makes it easier for me to deal with

Thanks for answering.

potnoodle_2

Hi guys, actually things did move on, and quickly, turned out he was having an affair, he came home drunk last week and went to sleep, I got hold of his mobile and there was a message he hadn't deleted from a woman, along the lines of hi darling, if you cant talk text me, wink xxxx, turns out he had been seeing her for a couple of months, a travellers ex, the traveller husband found out and is after my husband who I have thrown out and they are both playing the whole thing down and saying it is over, that is why he has been drinking so much and I felt driven to a separation. He is now single I guess and living in a mobile home on a park site, and I am filing for divorce.

Quite alot happens in a week huh!

InsertWittyName

Well done potnoodle, sounds like good riddance to bad rubbish.

potnoodle_2

thanks, feel suprisingly ok considering 15 years of marriage down drain!

InsertWittyName

potnoodle wrote: »

thanks, feel suprisingly ok considering 15 years of marriage down drain!

That feeling is relief, mixed with a bit of excitement about what the future holds